When a wild story about Tony hits the papers, it causes all kinds of trouble.
For those of you who don’t know what the Red Room is, it features prominently in Natasha’s storyline. She was trained there, and biotechnologically and psycho-technologically enhanced. You’ll probably see more of it in the upcoming ‘Captain America: Winter Solider’ film.
This story came into being due to the current Iron Man story arc, which is crap-tastic, and making me uber mad. >.<
Stark1: Clint. Clint, where are you
Hawkeye58: Sweden. Why? You okay?
Stark1: No. No I’m not.
Hawkeye58: What’s wrong? What happened? I’ll be home as soon as I can.
Stark1: It’s not….I mean I’m not in danger.
Hawkeye58: you’re not? You’re sure?
Darlin’. What’s wrong? I’m still coming out there.
Stark1: Newspaper. Someone gave them this bullshit story that my dad and mom did some weird shit to me before I was born. Messed with me. Some kind of Red Room bullshit. Said that’s the only reason I’m as smart as I am.
Hawkeye58: ……that’s bull. What…. Why the hell would they even come UP with that. Fuck that. You’re smart because you are. Fuck that.
Who wrote this crap. We need to have words.
Stark1: I don’t know. I mean, I know who wrote it, but I don’t know who told them. I mean it says there are “sources”. Maybe they made that up? Fuck. I don’t know.
Hawkeye58: Yeah fuck that. What sources? Probably talking to freaking Hammer or something.
Stark1: Fuck. Didn’t even think of that.
Hawkeye58: I wouldn’t put it past the jerk. Fuck that. No. I’m gonna figure it out.
Stark1: Yea. Yea. I mean. I’m sure I can, just. Not now. Not thinking too clearly.
Hawkeye58: Hey. It’s okay. It’s fine. Gonna fix it. It’s bullshit.
Stark1: I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. Hey. Don’t let this upset you, okay? We’ll take care of you.
Stark1: Yea. Yea I
Hawkeye58: Hey. It’s okay. Why don’t you just. Just sit. Try and relax a bit.
Stark1: Yea. Yea. Okay.
Hawkeye58: It’s gonna be okay, darlin’. Fuck that article, yeah? They’ll publish anything nowadays.
Stark1: They usually do. But this….this bugged me. Upset me a lot. I know I shouldn’t be. Just.
My mom and dad.
Hawkeye58: Loved you and wouldn’t’ve done that.
Stark1: Yea. Yea. That.
I don’t like it. I mean, they can talk about me, but not them.
Hawkeye58: They shouldn’t talk about ANY of you like that.
I need you.
Hawkeye58: Coming home. Just gotta catch my flight.
Hawkeye58: Hey. No. This is. They shouldn’t’ve written those things.
Stark1: Yea I know, but. Didn’t mean to drag you away. Do that often enough already.
Hawkeye58: Well. They can deal. Besides. Was pretty much done. Reports and debrief can wait.
Stark1: I love you so much.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. Gonna come home and hold you.
Stark1: That sounds fantastic.
Hawkeye58: Good. Hey. We’ll order in, yeah? Can just take a night in. Cuddle up.
Stark1: That. Yea. That sounds perfect.
Fluffy blanket, too.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Fluffy blanket. The babies. Just not worry about anything.
Stark1: …..there’s a fuck ton of people outside the house. Just a heads-up.
Hawkeye58: …….freaking nosy bastards.
Stark1: Yea. Seriously.
Hawkeye58: It’ll be okay. I’ll send them off.
Stark1: Yea I bet you will.
Hawkeye58: Heh damn right. Get them to leave us alone.
Stark1: You’re very good at that.
Hawkeye58: Haha well I try.
Stark1: You do a damn good job.
Hawkeye58: Well good. We deserve some damn privacy.
Hawkeye58: Oh shut up. It’s not your fault.
Stark1: No, I mean…..the whole public thing kinda is. Been that way since I was born and now you’re stuck with it. Cuz you’re stuck with me.
Hawkeye58: So long as I get to keep being stuck with you, I’m okay with that.
Stark1: Heh. Yea. You’re stuck with me.
Hawkeye58: Damn right. You too. Stuck with me.
Stark1: Good. Don’t ever wanna be without you. Can’t.
Hawkeye58: You won’t. You don’t have to worry about that.
Stark1: Good. Good. Don’t even wanna THINK about that.
Hawkeye58: So don’t. Waste of time. Never happening.
Stark1: Yea? Not gonna find some curvy young lady to go after?
Hawkeye58: Nah. Tried that. Didn’t work out. Just want you.
Stark1: Heh. Y’know, now that I think about it, I can’t recall the last time you were checking out women.
Hawkeye58: See. Told you I could stop.
Stark1: I honestly never thought it’d happen.
Hawkeye58: Oh shut up. 😛
Stark1: Haha hey, I’m being completely serious!
Hawkeye58: Well. I did.
Stark1: I know. I’m impressed. And. Thanks. I mean, you didn’t have to. But you did. And that really means so much.
Hawkeye58: Well. You said you didn’t care, but it was damn obvious that was a lie, and. I didn’t like making you sad.
I didn’t like you looking at people other than me. Is that bad?
Hawkeye58: No. Completely understandable.
Stark1: So you’re not upset?
Hawkeye58: No. I might have gotten a bit upset sometimes back when I was trying to break the habit and failing.
Stark1: I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.
Hawkeye58: Hey. No. No. Not your fault. I was the one with the issues.
Stark1: No, I was asking too much.
Hawkeye58: Hey. No you weren’t. You were being totally reasonable.
Stark1: I was upsetting you.
Hawkeye58: Shush. I’m fine.
Hawkeye58: Tony. Seriously. I’m fine. I love you. That’s all that matters.
Sorry. I just.
You’re so good to me. I hate upsetting you.
Hawkeye58: Oh stop. I can be an impossible, obnoxious ass.
Stark1: Haha well yea. But so can I.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. And I love you anyway. And because of it.
Stark1: Heh. Likewise.
Hawkeye58: Good. Because I am pretty damn obnoxious. And I don’t have mush besides good looks to excuse it.
Stark1: Haha hey. You have a big personality. And it may piss off everyone else, but I love it.
Hawkeye58: Well that’s all that really matters, then.
Stark1: Yea. It is.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Glad you agree.
Stark1: I do. Completely.
Clint, they won’t go away.
Hawkeye58: Shit. Well. Where are you, darlin’?
Stark1: The house.
Oh. You knew that. Heh.
Hawkeye58: I meant where IN the house, dumbass. 😛
Stark1: Yea yea I got that.
I’m near our room. I’ve kinda been wandering. Trying to keep myself out of the lab.
Hawkeye58: Oh, darlin’.
Stark1: Well, the babies are here.
Hawkeye58: Heh well that’s good at least.
How bout you wait in our room? S’got the shades and sound dampeners. Can ignore the bastards outside. I’m gonna call Coulson.
Stark1: Fuck no don’t call Coulson. That’s all I need, his judgmental looks.
Hawkeye58: Tony. He’s not gonna judge you. But he’s great at clearing out unwanted media.
Stark1: He ALWAYS judges. And me hiding in the house, leaving you to take care of me? THAT he’s gonna judge.
Hawkeye58: That’s my damn job. I don’t want those people there. You don’t need that.
Stark1: I should be able to handle it myself. I survived on my own all these years. Now that I have you…..I rely on you too much. I let you clean up all my messes. Shit, I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Tony. Don’t be sorry.
Stark1: Can’t help it.
Hawkeye58: I know. But. I like taking care of you.
Stark1: You’re amazing at it.
Hawkeye58: Good. I need to be.
Hawkeye58: Because if I’m not….well. What good am I? What kind of boyfriend can’t take care of his significant other?
Stark1: Hey. Shut up. Shut up you’re amazing. You’re the best.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. And I plan on staying that way.
Stark1: Don’t have to worry about that. You will.
Sometimes I do worry. Like now. I can’t get rid of those people.
Stark1: If you can’t, it doesn’t matter. As long as I have you.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Having you is most important.
Stark1: I love you so much.
Are you home? Or were you just speaking in generalities?
Hawkeye58: Not home yet. If I were I’d get those people away from our house.
Stark1: Oh. Well, you said you couldn’t. I don’t know.
Hawkeye58: Well, yeah. Cuz I’m not there.
Stark1: Heh. Okay. My big strong man.
Hawkeye58: Damn right.
Stark1: Haha I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So damn much.
Stark1: When you gonna be home?
Hawkeye58: Hour or so now. Hopefully.
Stark1: Oh. Okay. Okay.
Hawkeye58: It’s gonna be okay.
Stark1: I know. You’ll make it okay. You always do. I just. I want you.
Hawkeye58: I know. Soon, darlin’.
Stark1: I know. I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Shush now. It’s okay.
Stark1: I know. I’m sorry. I love you. You’re wonderful.
Hawkeye58: You are too. Gonna take care of you.
Stark1: Always do.
Hawkeye58: Always will, too.
Stark1: I know. You’re amazing.
Hawkeye58: Heh. You don’t usually stroke my ego THIS much.
Stark1: Haha well you really don’t need it. REALLY don’t need it. But I really need you. Always. And I want you to know that. How much I need you. And love you. And how much I appreciate that you do this… drop everything when I need you.
Hawkeye58: Well. I mean I can’t always. But when I can. I like to.
Stark1: Yea well you do it sometimes even when you can’t. I mean, when you shouldn’t. Like right now. You’re far away and still supposed to be working and you’re coming anyway.
Hawkeye58: ……well. Yeah, but. This is important.
Stark1: And the fact that you think so is amazing. YOU’RE amazing.
Hawkeye58: Damn right I am. And I love you. And I’m gonna be there for you.
Stark1: I love you, baby.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So much.
Stark1: I’m wearing your pajamas. Well. Half of your pajamas.
Hawkeye58: Haha oh yeah? Which ones?
Stark1: Your purple birds.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Bet you look adorable.
Stark1: Haha hey.
Hawkeye58: What. You tell ME I’m adorable in them.
Stark1: Cuz you are.
Got the pants on. And one’a your shirts.
Hawkeye58: Oh, not matching?
Stark1: No. I put on the shirt earlier and then I didn’t wanna change it. S’comfy. Your shirts are a little big on me. I like it.
Hawkeye58: Heh yeah. You seem to prefer baggy clothing. Cept your suits.
Stark1: Hey. My stuff is usually pretty form fitting! I wear close-cut stuff!
Hawkeye58: You double up on shirts all the time, and your jeans are usually too long. Except when you’re working. Your work stuff is sexy.
Stark1: Meaning I’m not sexy in my normal clothes?
Hawkeye58: I didn’t say that and you know it. Ass.
Stark1: Heh. Anyway, long is different than baggy, and even doubled up, my shirts are still tight. Apparently I’m just not built well enough for you to notice. 😛
Hawkeye58: Haha shut up, you know that’s not true. Heh. I like you wearing my shirts.
Stark1: Good. I like wearing them.
S’one of your SHIELD shirts, for when you’re training. I’ve got “Property of SHIELD” written on my chest right now.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha amazing. Only untrue. You belong to me.
Stark1: Yup. Maybe I can have one made up.
Hawkeye58: What. Property of me?
Stark1: Oh yea.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Can I get one with your name?
Stark1: Haha “Property of Tony Stark”? You seriously think I’d object to that?
Hawkeye58: No. Just throwing it out there.
Stark1: Haha dork. I can’t believe you’d even want that. That’s amazing.
Hawkeye58: Course I do. I like being yours.
Stark1: Yea I know, but I never would’ve thought you’d want it on a shirt or something. Like, an actual label.
Hawkeye58: Well. I mean. Pretty much everyone knows now, anyway.
Stark1: Heh. Still. I love you.
Hawkeye58: Haha I love you too.
Stark1: These people need to go away.
Hawkeye58: I know. I know, darlin’.
Stark1: Sorry. Don’t mean to whine.
Hawkeye58: I know. But I get it.
Stark1: How far away are you?
Hawkeye58: Half hour tops.
Stark1: Oh good. I really REALLY want you here.
Hawkeye58: I know. I will be.
Stark1: I know.
…..did you call Coulson?
Hawkeye58: No. Wanted to. Just to get those guys to leave, but. You were already upset.
Stark1: I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Shush I said. No need.
Stark1: Yea I know. Just….hate that look he gives me. I’m starting to be able to tell them apart heh. Usually comes in handy. But I don’t like this one.
Hawkeye58: I still say he wouldn’t’ve judged you for this one.
Stark1: I judge me for this one. Why wouldn’t he?
Hawkeye58: Because that’s crappy of them to make up about you. Of course you’d be upset.
Stark1: Still letting you do all the dirty work.
Hawkeye58: I’m good at dirty work.
Stark1: Haha yea. I know. Still.
…..think I should go out there?
Hawkeye58: For what? No. Wait till I get home at least.
Stark1: I don’t know. Make a statement.
Hawkeye58: I mean. Maybe. But. Wait for me.
Stark1: Okay. Yea.
Hawkeye58: Just. I mean, just so I can be there. Support you.
Stark1: I know.
Don’t even know what I’d say, anyway.
Hawkeye58: Well. I was gonna say I could help but I am terrible at public speaking.
Stark1: Usually that’s my forte but this…..fuck, Clint, I’m completely…..I don’t even know. I’m lost. I can’t just say whatever like I always do. This isn’t just me. This is my PARENTS. I can’t screw this up. I can’t.
Hawkeye58: And you won’t. We’ll figure it out.
Stark1: Yea. Yea we will.
Fuck. I mean my dad did some messed up shit but he wasn’t THIS fucked up. And my mom? Fuck.
Fuck I have to stop thinking about this. Losing my fucking mind.
Hawkeye58: Tony. They didn’t do anything. It’s all shit.
Stark1: I know. I know I know I’m sorry, I just…..you didn’t know her. God I wish you had. But whoever would believe she would ever do anything remotely within the realm of this is completely fucking INSANE.
Hawkeye58: We’ll figure out who did it and I’ll make their life ridiculously inconvenient.
Stark1: I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So much. We’re gonna make it better.
Stark1: You always do. Everything. God, I’m so lucky to have you.
Hawkeye58: Damn right you are. And so’m I.
Stark1: Heh. God.
M’trying to write something up…..some kind of statement. Maybe Coulson SHOULD be here. Could run it past him, see if I’m making ANY sort of sense.
Hawkeye58: We can ask him once I’m there, too. That work?
Stark1: Ask him what?
Hawkeye58: To go over it. Coulson is pretty good at that stuff.
Stark1: Okay. Yea okay. I think that’d be good.
Hawkeye58: Okay. Good. We’ll do that. Get it all sorted.
I miss you.
Hawkeye58: I miss you too. Gonna see you soon.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Not too far now.
Stark1: Oh good. Good.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Gonna take care of it. Take care of you.
Stark1: Yea. Want you. Want snuggles.
Need. Not want. Need.
Hawkeye58: Soon, darlin’. Almost home. Then we’ll do whatever you want. Cuddle.
Stark1: Yea. Cuddles. Need you to hold me.
Hawkeye58: I will. Hold you close.
Stark1: Good. Love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So so much.
Stark1: I hate this.
Hawkeye58: I know. It’ll be over soon. Gonna fix it.
Stark1: I know. Just…. this is gonna fuck me up for a while. I’m sorry in advance.
Hawkeye58: I know. We’ll be okay, though.
Stark1: Always. We’ll always be okay.
Hawkeye58: Yup. Always. I’ll always take care of you.
Stark1: I know you will.
Hawkeye58: Get rid of all the reporters. Make a statement. Bury this.
Stark1: I don’t wanna bury it. That means it could come up again any time. I wanna get rid of it. And I know that’s impossible. So we’re gonna just try and get rid of as much as we can. Then we can bury whatever’s left.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Don’t worry, darlin’.
Stark1: I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Stop. No need to be sorry.
Hawkeye58: No. No “eh”. It’s gonna be fun.
Stark1: Fun?? How exactly do you figure that?
Hawkeye58: Cuz you’ll turn on that charm we know and love and put those reporters in their place. You love destroying their dumbass stories.
Stark1: Yea. Not so sure about that.
Okay. That’s okay. I’ll take care of it.
I’m not having you clean up all my messes. I’m…. I’m gonna try, okay?
Hawkeye58: okay. Okay yeah. Whatever you gotta do. I’m behind you.
Stark1: I feel like I just disappointed you somehow.
Hawkeye58: No. No I just. I hate when you’re upset and I’m useless.
Stark1: You’re not useless! Don’t ever think that!
Hawkeye58: I AM. There’s nothing I can do. I just have to….watch. And it sucks. I want to protect you and I can’t.
Stark1: Shut up. Shut up shut up. You do everything for me. Everything.
God. I’ve messed everything up. I’m so sorry.
Hawkeye58: You didn’t mess up anything, Tony. Nothing. You’re wonderful and I love you.
Stark1: I love you too. Fuck. You…..
Hawkeye58: Almost home. Landing now.
Stark1: Landing? Where are you landing? How far a drive after that?
Hawkeye58: Um. Not far. More of a walk.
Stark1: I…..I could come get you? If you want.
Hawkeye58: No. No it’s okay, darlin’. Sit tight.
Stark1: Yea? Okay. Okay. Sitting.
Hawkeye58: I’ll be in shortly. Just. It’s going to be okay.
Stark1: I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I keep freaking out on you.
Hawkeye58: It’s okay. It is. You’re upset. You have a right to be.
Stark1: No. Eventually we’ll reach a point where I just grow too whiny.
Hawkeye58: Oh shut up we will not.
Stark1: You sure? I’m already a pushy bastard. Think you can handle the whining, too?
Hawkeye58: Darlin’. I can handle anything you throw at me.
Stark1: Oh yea?
Okay you know things’ll be okay when I start thinking bout sex.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha well that’s encouraging. And yeah.
Stark1: Heh. Shut up.
Hawkeye58: Nope. Did I at least get you to smile a little?
Stark1: Heh. Yea. You did.
Hawkeye58: Good. Good, I love your smile.
Stark1: You’re wonderful.
Hawkeye58: Damn right I am.
Stark1: Haha stop it.
Hawkeye58: Nope. I’m awesome. That’s why we do so well together.
Stark1: Oh? You sayin’ I’m awesome?
Hawkeye58: That may be what I’m saying, yes. 😉
Stark1: Oh? May, huh.
Hawkeye58: Mnn. May. Think you should remind me when I get home. Can start with a kiss, yeah?
Stark1: Oh? Now I have to WORK for a kiss? Thought you were gonna give me anything I wanted.
Hawkeye58: I am. You just gotta work to make it awesome.
Stark1: HAHA oh no, no I do not. If there’s one thing I never have to do, it is TRY to be awesome. It’s a natural skill.
Hawkeye58: Haha and THERE’S my genius.
Stark1: Heh. Shut up. Except don’t. Cuz I love hearing you call me that.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha I love you.
Stark1: I love you too. More than anything.
Hawkeye58: You gonna be smiling when I get in there?
Stark1: Maybe. Gonna do my best. You got me smilin’ right now.
Hawkeye58: Good, good. Keep it up. Gonna see you in a minute.
Stark1: Yea? You’re here?
Hawkeye58: Yup. Wading through a sea of idiots to get to my smiling genius.
Stark1: Heh. I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So much.
Stark1: Get in here. I want kisses. Lots of kisses.
Hawkeye58: Gonna have as many as you can take.
Stark1: Awesome. Awesome.
Hawkeye58: Yup. Okay darlin’. Better be ready for me.
Stark1: Haha don’t know that I am today. But I don’t care. Get in here anyway.
Hawkeye58: You’ll be ready.
Stark1: Heh. Such faith.
Hawkeye58: In you? Always.
Stark1: God. You…..get in here. I want my kisses.