Tony has some issues with modern literature, and he can’t quite keep them to himself.
Forgive me if this is a book you like. I can’t handle it.
“What’s that you’re reading?”
Tony was lying on his stomach on the bed, feet in the air behind him, kicking idly back and forth. His pants were cuffed, rolled up to his calves. The entire picture made him look like a teenager, pouring over the latest juicy best seller.
Turns out, it wasn’t that far off.
“Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Tony’s eyes didn’t look up from the book in front of him, scanning the pages from behind his glasses. He didn’t seem at all daunted by Clint’s stunned response. “Fifty Shades of Grey,” he repeated.
“…….you’re kidding me.”
“No.” There was a tone to Tony’s voice that Clint couldn’t quite make out. “And honestly, it’s a disgrace.”
Ah. That’s what that tone was: disgust.
“Well, did you expect anything better?” Clint flopped onto the bed beside Tony. The brunette pushed himself up to a sitting position, swinging his legs around and crossing them beneath him.
“No. I mean, I don’t know! All the women at work wouldn’t shut up about the damn thing! And then they kept mentioning some sexy professional man and sadomasochism and kink, and I started thinking hmm, this might be interesting.”
Clint shook his head, amused. “So you decided to read it.”
“Yea. Well, obviously! And I mean.” Tony flipped through the pages, searching, and then, locating whatever it was he sought after, he stabbed at the page with a finger. “Look at this! THIS is what they call sadomasochism? THESE are their alleged kinks? Jesus! I was doing crazier shit than this in college!”
Clint couldn’t completely hold back a snort of laughter. “Tony, I don’t think the author of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ knows that people like you truly exist.”
“What’re you TALKING about? EVERYONE knows that I exist.”
Oh God. Clint struggled to hold back another laugh, shaking his head. “Conceited bastard. I meant people with your sexual background. I mean, the shit you do? That sounds more like a fictional novel than this shit does.” He pulled the book from Tony’s hands, waving it. “More like a fantasy novel, really.” He grinned.
“Hell yea. EVERYONE’S fantasy. Everyone WISHES they had my sex life.”
“Yeah, well only I get it now.” Clint tugged a lock of Tony’s hair. Tony let out a little noise at the action, and smiled.
“Yea. Only you.”
“Good.” Clint leaned in for a kiss, but then Tony was talking again.
“I mean, has this person ever even HAD sex before? Who wrote this, anyway?” Tony had pulled the book out of Clint’s hand and was examining the cover. “E.L James,” he read. “What the fuck. Is that a man or a woman? Why do people use just their initials on books now? E.L James, J.K Rowling….do they think that they’ll sell to a wider audience if no one knows their gender?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well that’s stupid. I mean, it doesn’t matter if J.K Rowling was a guy or a girl, cuz she wasn’t a WIZARD, so clearly she didn’t know shit about wizards, she was just making it up. It was gender neutral no matter what. And CLEARLY, this E.L James person doesn’t know FUCK ALL about kink.” Tony was on a roll. “And another thing–”
That was enough. Clint grabbed Tony’s hair, pulling him into a hard, deep kiss, interrupting whatever tangent he’d been heading into next. Tony let out a little “mmph!” of surprise, but quickly gave in, melting into Clint, arms wrapping around him.
“Now,” Clint said when they finally parted. “Are you ready to stop bitching about this book? Because if you’re willing to shut up about how E.L James knows nothing about kink, I’d be willing to let you give me a lesson on what kink REALLY is.”
Tony’s brows shot up at that. “Oh?” Clint nodded. That familiar smile curved across Tony’s lips. “Well then, I guess I’d better shut up, hadn’t I?”
“Mm…” Clint laid another kiss on Tony’s lips, this one a soft, fluttering thing. “….sounds like a plan.”
In one smooth move, Tony rolled them over, flipping Clint onto his back on the bed and crawling over him, seating himself on Clint’s abdomen. He leaned in close enough for Clint to feel that heat that radiated from the man. “You ready for your lesson?”
Clint smiled. “Ready when you are, sir.”