Lessons in Literature: drabble

Tony has some issues with modern literature, and he can’t quite keep them to himself.

Forgive me if this is a book you like.  I can’t handle it.



“What’s that you’re reading?”

Tony was lying on his stomach on the bed, feet in the air behind him, kicking idly back and forth.  His pants were cuffed, rolled up to his calves.  The entire picture made him look like a teenager, pouring over the latest juicy best seller.

Turns out, it wasn’t that far off.

Fifty Shades of Grey.”


Tony’s eyes didn’t look up from the book in front of him, scanning the pages from behind his glasses.  He didn’t seem at all daunted by Clint’s stunned response.  “Fifty Shades of Grey,” he repeated.

“…….you’re kidding me.”

“No.”  There was a tone to Tony’s voice that Clint couldn’t quite make out.  “And honestly, it’s a disgrace.”

Ah.  That’s what that tone was: disgust.

“Well, did you expect anything better?”  Clint flopped onto the bed beside Tony.  The brunette pushed himself up to a sitting position, swinging his legs around and crossing them beneath him.

“No.  I mean, I don’t know!  All the women at work wouldn’t shut up about the damn thing!  And then they kept mentioning some sexy professional man and sadomasochism and kink, and I started thinking hmm, this might be interesting.”

Clint shook his head, amused.  “So you decided to read it.”

“Yea.  Well, obviously!  And I mean.”  Tony flipped through the pages, searching, and then, locating whatever it was he sought after, he stabbed at the page with a finger.  “Look at this!  THIS is what they call sadomasochism?  THESE are their alleged kinks?  Jesus!  I was doing crazier shit than this in college!”

Clint couldn’t completely hold back a snort of laughter.  “Tony, I don’t think the author of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ knows that people like you truly exist.”

“What’re you TALKING about?  EVERYONE knows that I exist.”

Oh God.  Clint struggled to hold back another laugh, shaking his head.  “Conceited bastard.  I meant people with your sexual background.  I mean, the shit you do?  That sounds more like a fictional novel than this shit does.”  He pulled the book from Tony’s hands, waving it.  “More like a fantasy novel, really.”  He grinned.

“Hell yea.  EVERYONE’S fantasy.  Everyone WISHES they had my sex life.”

“Yeah, well only I get it now.”  Clint tugged a lock of Tony’s hair.  Tony let out a little noise at the action, and smiled.

“Yea.  Only you.”

“Good.”  Clint leaned in for a kiss, but then Tony was talking again.

“I mean, has this person ever even HAD sex before?  Who wrote this, anyway?”  Tony had pulled the book out of Clint’s hand and was examining the cover.  “E.L James,” he read.  “What the fuck.  Is that a man or a woman?  Why do people use just their initials on books now?  E.L James, J.K Rowling….do they think that they’ll sell to a wider audience if no one knows their gender?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.”

“Well that’s stupid.  I mean, it doesn’t matter if J.K Rowling was a guy or a girl, cuz she wasn’t a WIZARD, so clearly she didn’t know shit about wizards, she was just making it up.  It was gender neutral no matter what.  And CLEARLY, this E.L James person doesn’t know FUCK ALL about kink.”  Tony was on a roll.  “And another thing–”

That was enough.  Clint grabbed Tony’s hair, pulling him into a hard, deep kiss, interrupting whatever tangent he’d been heading into next.  Tony let out a little “mmph!” of surprise, but quickly gave in, melting into Clint, arms wrapping around him.

“Now,” Clint said when they finally parted.  “Are you ready to stop bitching about this book?  Because if you’re willing to shut up about how E.L James knows nothing about kink, I’d be willing to let you give me a lesson on what kink REALLY is.”

Tony’s brows shot up at that.  “Oh?”  Clint nodded.  That familiar smile curved across Tony’s lips.  “Well then, I guess I’d better shut up, hadn’t I?”

“Mm…”  Clint laid another kiss on Tony’s lips, this one a soft, fluttering thing.  “….sounds like a plan.”

In one smooth move, Tony rolled them over, flipping Clint onto his back on the bed and crawling over him, seating himself on Clint’s abdomen.  He leaned in close enough for Clint to feel that heat that radiated from the man.  “You ready for your lesson?”

Clint smiled.  “Ready when you are, sir.”



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  1. KattyRosie

     /  March 29, 2013

    *happy sigh* I’m glad Tony shares my opinion of the book. And perfect diversion from Clint, as always.

  2. redbanker

     /  March 29, 2013

    I realize I’ve been remiss and I’m sooooooo sorry I meant to post to your hiatus idea but life has been fucking crazy!!!!! I’m working full time and taking my last two classes and a million other things, but this was fucking adorable.

    • Omg I’ve been wondering! I’ve missed you! *hugs* Its good to know its just Cuz you’re busy and not Cuz you’re sick of me. :/
      I hope all of that goes well for you! My older sister is currently working on her thesis for her master’s degree.
      Thank you for the review! I’m so glad you liked it!

  3. Cat

     /  March 29, 2013

    Nooooo how could you end it like that??? Where is Tony showing Clint the way of the kinks??? You evil person! But it still was awesome, specially when Tony says that everyone knows him xD

    Oh, and I totally agree with your opinion on FAOG, specially as the portrayal of BDSM and D/s is really superficial and basic, making it out to be something that needs to be cured, and failing to show the amount of trust there needs to be for those to work.

    Anyway, please keep updating!

  4. Paisley15

     /  March 29, 2013

    So have you read it and didn’t like it? And I love this. Tony’s teenager act and Clint pulling him into a kiss and everything. For some reason, my email didn’t alert me to the this and the previous upload. I only found this because I forgot to sign up for the “notify me for follow up comments” on the possible hiatus crisis. Crisis averted. *nods head smugly*

    • I work at a library, so I read a bit at work and was disgusted. And then a man called on the phone asking about it, saying he was looking for something to read before bed at night, because “you know how men are.” And then he asked me to hold on, put the phone down, and I could hear him masturbating in the background.
      So yea. I hate this book. A LOT.

  5. Tabby

     /  March 29, 2013

    I’m not going to lie this drabble really surprised me. I guess I just expected the great Tony Stark to be reading and bitching about something else. I certainly didn’t expect it to be ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and the Harry Potter series. I’ve never read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, but my mom said it was a really good read. On the other hand, I’m a huge fan of Harry Potter and absolutely adore J.K. Rowling. I liked this though. It was certainly something different. One little tidbit I’d like to add though: when female authors get ready to publish a book, most publishers advise them to use their first two intials and their full last name. According to the publishers, it’ll increase their book sales with both genders. Personally, I feel like that’s a load of crap, but I usually don’t look at the author until after I’ve read their work. Then again, that’s just me.

    • Oh, Tony Stark is a multi-faceted individual. 🙂
      I know that about the initials. That’s the whole reason I put it in. That doesn’t mean TONY knows.
      And Tony wasn’t maligning Harry Potter. He was just pointing out that that, with the book’s subject matter, it didn’t seem as important to keep the author’s gender a secret.

      • Tabby

         /  March 30, 2013

        Oh, Tony 🙂 You always surprise me lol. I wasn’t sure if you knew or not, so I thought I was sharing a cool little fact.
        Oh, I know he wasn’t. I just wanted to share the fact that I adored the Harry Potter series 😛

  6. britewing

     /  March 29, 2013

    hahaha this made my laugh. kinda agree with Tony tho but then again i only made it to about a quater of the book before i got bored and fed up so..love it 🙂

  7. Backlash

     /  March 29, 2013

    When Tony said the title I very nearly hit my head on the desk. XD I’ve been trying to avoid reading it because everyone I know who’s read it either loves it to death or wants to burn every copy. And frankly I share more book opinions with those that want to burn every copy. :p

    I’ll just get my wonderful smexy reading material from here, thanks 😀

  8. J2

     /  March 30, 2013

  9. fuzzyelf

     /  March 30, 2013

    Tony would be the kink master! Totally hot just thinking about some of the stuff he and Clint could do together. So glad to see you still writing.

    • Lol well there’s a story coming eventually where you’ll get to see a lot of his kinks. >.>
      I just have to figure out exactly how far to go and how to go about writing it.


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