They say laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes it also leads to the best discussions.
Oh. And this comes up in a fic I haven’t posted yet, but Clint used to say “ain’t”, before he was coached out of it by SHIELD in an attempt to make him more respectable sounding. And Tony desperately wants to hear it. So yea, when that comes up in this, now you’ll understand why.
Oh, also, Clint has a thing about Tony being old. Rather, older than him. God, I really should post these in order, but there’s some that I REALLY want to post now. Like this one.
Hawkeye58: Hey Tony. Ever carve a pumpkin? Like into a jack-o-lantern?
Stark1: Don’t think so. Mean….no. Why?
Hawkeye58: Because it looks fun and I wanna do it. You just use regular pumpkins, right? I mean. In Europe they use some other vegetable. But pumpkins are bigger.
Stark1: I think so. I’m really not the person to ask. But yea. We can do that. That’d. That’d be fun.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Awesome. Always wanted to do that. And I thought you might. Is that dorky? It is, isn’t it.
Stark1: Heh. Nah. It’ll be cool.
Hawkeye58: You okay? We don’t have to. You sure?
Stark1: Haha I’m fine. Just another of those childhood things you’re supposed to do with your parents, isn’t it? Sorry. Don’t mean to get all emo heh. I wanna do this with you. You done it? Didn’t sound it. Heh sorry to ramble.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Nah. Always wanted to. Never got a chance. Heh. Almost did. But then Barney said only kids did that stuff. Heh. Shoulda done it anyway.
Stark1: Tch. Jerk. Well, we’ll do it together. First time for both of us.
Hawkeye58: Awesome. You know what. It’ll be awesome. Glad to do it with you.
Stark1: It WILL be awesome. And…..likewise.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Awesome. 🙂 Made my day. Really. You totally did.
Stark1: Heh. Yea?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I mean. I don’t know. I like it. Doing family stuff.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I mean.
Didn’t really know what I was missing.
Stark1: Yea. It happens. I mean, I knew, but you sorta…..well…..you never get used to it, you just….learn to push it down, I guess. Suppress it.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. But hey. Better a little late, right? I mean, it’s not really the same but it’s still good.
Stark1: Hey. I mean, yea, it’s different, but you’re just as good. I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So much.
Hawkeye58: Hey. It’s true.
Stark1: No, not laughing at that.
Hawkeye58: Oh. What’re you laughing at?
Stark1: Nuh uh. You’re not weaseling this one out of me, Agent Barton.
Hawkeye58: What? Come on. Tell me. I wanna know!
Stark1: Nope. This one’s mine.
Hawkeye58: You can’t just tease like that!
Stark1: Hey, wasn’t meaning to tease!
Hawkeye58: Tch. Sure you weren’t.
Stark1: I wasn’t!
Hawkeye58: Well, you did. Jerk. 😛
Stark1: Hey. I am not!
Hawkeye58: Are so. But I love you.
…….whatever. Go ahead and think that. When’re you coming home, brat?
Hawkeye58: Tonight. Gotta wait for the evac.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Oh. It’s just what we call it. Not in danger or anything, really.
Hawkeye58: I mean, no more than usual.
Stark1: You better not be lying.
Hawkeye58: I’m not lying. Routine stuff.
Hawkeye58: Yup. So don’t worry.
Stark1: Ha. Right. Cuz I don’t worry even on your standard missions.
Hawkeye58: Haha true. This one really wasn’t that bad, though. And hey! Redirecting? Still didn’t tell me what you were laughing about.
Stark1: Haha no. Already told you. Not happening.
Hawkeye58: SO not fair.
Stark1: Is too. You’d just think I’m weird. More than you already do. So we’re pretending the laughing never happened.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Nothing wrong with being weird.
Stark1: Yea. That’s what you say NOW, when you’re trying to convince me to share.
Hawkeye58: But I want you to share.
Stark1: Yea and then you’ll think it’s really weird and wish you hadn’t asked.
Hawkeye58: You’re doing nothing to make me want to know less.
Stark1: Hey. I tried just telling you to drop it and you totally didn’t listen. I don’t really know what else I can do.
I wanna get a panda. There. That good?
Hawkeye58: …….you want a panda? Just randomly? A panda?
Well I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think we can just get a panda. But I’ll try, if you really want one.
Stark1: Yup. A panda. It’ll fill the hole in my aching heart.
Hawkeye58: ……..okay. Now you’re fucking with me.
Stark1: No. Fucking with you? Me? Never!
Hawkeye58: Psh. Fine.
Stark1: There we go. See? Isn’t that better?
Stark1: Hey. C’mon. Don’t be grumpy.
Hawkeye58: Not grumpy.
Stark1: ……yea okay.
Hawkeye58: I’m not.
Gonna buy you a shit load of panda stuff from now on.
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHA oh my God.
Hawkeye58: Gonna do it.
Stark1: Good. It’ll be awesome.
Hawkeye58: I’ll bet.
Stark1: It will. Totally awesome. I like pandas.
Cept for that bullshit where they just don’t seem to wanna procreate for some reason. What’s THAT about? Do they just…..not like kids?
Hawkeye58: Maybe? Who knows. Maybe they just don’t like how everyone tries to watch when they do it.
Stark1: Yea. Guess that’s true. Though they usually have a little cave or something to hide in.
Hawkeye58: Maybe they’re just being dicks. Like. Oh. You want more of us? Well screw you.
Stark1: Yea. Exactly. Get it together, pandas.
Stark1: See? Now YOU’RE laughing, and I’M not complaining.
Hawkeye58: Because YOU actually know what I’m laughing about.
Stark1: So you say.
Hawkeye58: What do you mean, so I say?
Stark1: Well for all I know, you could be laughing about something going on wherever you are, and you’re just claiming to be laughing about the pandas. 😛
Hawkeye58: You know damn well I’m not. Nice try, though.
Hawkeye58: Pshaw yourself.
Hawkeye58: Tch. You love me.
Stark1: I do. So so much. More than I could ever possibly say.
Hawkeye58: Yeah well……love you too. Just as much.
Stark1: Ha. Oh? Even with a “yeah well” before it?
Hawkeye58: Yup. Even then.
Stark1: Oh? So what was the “yeah well” for?
Hawkeye58: Nothing. It was for despite you keeping secret jokes to yourself, I still love you.
Stark1: It’s not…
Okay, how long till you’re home
Hawkeye58: Told you. Tonight. Couple hours.
Hey. It’s okay. I was teasing.
Stark1: Well I’m not telling you over the phone where I’m not there to see your reaction. Which will inevitably be bad.
Hawkeye58: How do you know?
Sorry. It’s fine. Really. I’m just nosey.
Stark1: No. No I mean. I’m not gonna keep secrets from you. Ever. Want you to know that.
Hawkeye58: I know. I do. I mean. It’s okay if you do. I mean. I understand. Just not important stuff. Yeah?
Stark1: No. Nothing. I trust you. That means I trust you with all my secrets.
Fuck. Just knowing that means so so much.
Stark1: It’s true. Completely. Anything you want to know, ever. Just ask.
Hawkeye58: Fuck. You’re amazing. So amazing.
Stark1: How is that amazing? I love you. That’s all.
People that do what I do? That kinda trust is just.
It means a lot.
Stark1: Idiot. How long’ve we been together? You should know by now how much I trust you.
Hawkeye58: I know. Just. It’s still amazing.
Stark1: Heh. Dork.
Hawkeye58: Shut up.
Stark1: No. I love you.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. So much.
Stark1: Hurry home. Want you.
Hawkeye58: Want you too. Not gonna stay longer than I have to.
Stark1: You haven’t even left yet?
Hawkeye58: They’re not here yet.
Stark1: Dammit. What the hell.
Hawkeye58: Sorry. I know.
Stark1: Come home to me.
Hawkeye58: I will. I am. Gonna. Soon as I can.
Stark1: Nooooo. Now.
Hawkeye58: Haha how? I can’t just fly out of here.
Stark1: Tell them your incredibly impatient boyfriend wants you. Needs you.
Hawkeye58: Haha that’s not really gonna get them here faster.
Stark1: Where are you
Hawkeye58: Backwoods Switzerland. It’s like…..the south meets Europe out here.
Stark1: Haha! Oh man.
Well…….how much longer? Could I maybe meet the plane somewhere? Pick you up partway? I…..
I wanna see you.
Hawkeye58: Well, I think they’re sending a quinjet. Gonna go back to the carrier first most likely.
Stark1: Dammit. Clint. Want you. Can’t you just come home to me?
Hawkeye58: I’m sorry. I mean, I’m gonna go home. Just. The debrief. And then I’m good.
But I need you.
Hawkeye58: you’re killing me here. I want to be with you.
Stark1: Sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.
Hawkeye58: No. I mean. I love that you want me that bad. I just hate that I can’t give you what you want.
Stark1: Yea but I shouldn’t make you feel bad.
Where’s the carrier?
Hawkeye58: Ah. Well I haven’t been on it in a couple days or so.
Or so. But I believe it’s over the Atlantic.
Goddammit. I fucking hate debriefs.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I like our version better. 😉
Stark1: Hahaha! Pervert.
Hawkeye58: Can’t help it. I blame you.
Stark1: HA! Hey, you were totally a perv already. Though I’ll proudly take the blame for encouraging that side of you.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha of course you would.
Stark1: Oh yea.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Hey. Miss you.
Stark1: I miss you too. So much. God. How long till your next mission?
Hawkeye58: Haven’t heard anything about a new one yet. So at least a couple days. Maybe I’ll get a week even. That’d be nice.
Stark1: Yea. Fuck. Hate it when you’re gone.
Hawkeye58: I know. Hate being gone so long.
Stark1: Is it sad that sometimes I look forward to us being old, just so you’ll be home with me?
Hawkeye58: Haha hey, don’t rush it. But it’s kinda sweet.
Stark1: I know. Don’t actually wanna get old. Just……wanna be with you.
Hawkeye58: Hey. I know. I’m sorry.
I think I can request some more time off, maybe? Spend more time with you?
Stark1: Really? You think?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I mean, I rarely take actual time off. Barring anything super important, I can probably swing a week or two.
Stark1: God. That. That would make me so Goddamn happy.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Shit. I’ll put the request in today, then.
Stark1: Heh. Love you.
Hawkeye58: Love you too.
Stark1: ………probably pointless to ask, but…….they there yet?
Hawkeye58: Nah. But I do have them on coms, which means they will be in a minute.
Stark1: Dammit. Slow motherfucking bastards.
Hawkeye58: I know. See. They say I’m a crazy driver. Just because I don’t dilly-dally around.
Stark1: Ha. And cuz you ARE a crazy driver. But I wish you were in charge right now.
Hawkeye58: Hey. My driving skills are top notch. 😛 And yeah. Me too.
Stark1: Get back here and hold me. And. We’ll do whatever you want. Anything. I just. Need you.
Hawkeye58: ………whatever I want, huh?
Stark1: ……I feel like I should be scared. But yea. Whatever you want.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Movie. I wanna watch a movie with you. Two of us. Nice warm blanket. And afterwards I get to sex you up until you forget how sappy and lame that first part was.
Stark1: Ha! I like it. A lot. A lot a lot. Anything in mind?
Hawkeye58: Nah. Anything. You choose. And yeah. Talking.
Stark1: Heh. Yea. Talking. Said I’d tell you, didn’t I? You persistent bastard. 😉
Hawkeye58: Damn straight.
And you’re really okay with telling me? I mean, I wanna know, but not if you’ll be upset.
Stark1: Yea. It’s okay.
As long as you promise I’ll still get cuddles, even if you’re weirded out.
Hawkeye58: Well, I do have my heart set on this blanket movie time, so yeah. I promise.
…….you really think it’s that bad?
Stark1: Yes. No. Maybe? I honestly don’t know how you’re gonna react. But it’s really……touchy-feely, for lack of a better word. Maybe too much so. I don’t know.
We’ll talk when you get home.
Hey. I love you. You somehow got me to admit shit like feelings and to like cuddling and you know. The whole trust thing. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine. But if I act stupid. Well. Just remember those other things. Takes time for me to adjust to this stuff is all, you know?
I don’t know. We’ll see.
Hawkeye58: Shut up. It can’t be that bad. Hey. I fucking love you, okay? You maybe saying something weird ain’t gonna change that. Promise.
Stark1: Oh my God you said “ain’t”. So fucking happy right now.
Hawkeye58: I did n
Oh wait. Shit.
Wait. Really? Heh. Don’t know why that makes you so happy.
Stark1: It’s fucking cute as hell. Love it.
Hawkeye58: Haha how is that cute?
Stark1: I don’t know. It just is.
Still never said it in front of me. I wanna actually hear you say it.
Hawkeye58: Haha well it kinda just happens. I can say it, sure. But I don’t think it’ll be the same if I’m thinking about it.
Stark1: Awww. Dammit.
……I’m pouting now. Just so you know. A very sad, very cute pout.
Hawkeye58: Haha hey. It’ll slip.
Stark1: Better. I’m super sad. Very very sad. See? *picture attached*
Hawkeye58: That is SO not fair.
Stark1: Is too. That’s how I feel when I don’t get to hear the adorable “ain’t”.
Hawkeye58: I said I’d try to say it around you!
Stark1: No, you said it wouldn’t be the same unless it happened on its own.
Hawkeye58: Well, yeah. But I can’t help that.
Stark1: *more pout pictures*
Hawkeye58: That is not gonna help the cause.
Stark1: What?! Why not??
Hawkeye58: Because I can’t suddenly get myself to say stuff!
Hawkeye58: Haha I’m sorry.
Stark1: Tch. Should be.
Hawkeye58: I am. Really.
Stark1: You on a plane yet? Cuz I’m about ready to tear Coulson a new one.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Headed back to the carrier now.
Stark1: Motherfucking hell. Thank God.
Hawkeye58: I know. Sorry it’s taking so long.
Stark1: Not your fault, dork.
Hawkeye58: I know. Still.
Stark1: How long you think till you’re home?
Hawkeye58: Couple hours. Debrief shouldn’t take too long.
Stark1: Good. Cuz seriously? I wanna kill Coulson right now. Really bad.
Hawkeye58: Hey. It’s not really his fault.
Stark1: ……everything is Coulson’s fault.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha oh?
Stark1: Yup. Everything.
…….don’t tell him I said that, though. He’ll probably just try and keep you away from me even more.
Hawkeye58: Haha I won’t say anything.
Stark1: Good. Last thing I need is him getting pissy.
Hawkeye58: Well. With you, he always kinda is. 😛
Stark1: Ha! Too true.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Oh well. At this point it’d be weird if you guys didn’t butt heads.
Stark1: Haha yea? So you don’t mind that daddy doesn’t approve?
Hawkeye58: What can I say? I’m a problem child.
Stark1: …….okay, for some reason, this just got REALLY hot.
Hawkeye58: Ha! Yeah? What. Like, the rebel kid?
Stark1: Yea. Heh. Guess so. I mean. You saying it, I think.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Yeah? Heh. Well, so long as you like it. Figured it was obvious about me, though.
Stark1: Hahaha oh, it is. Like I said. It’s just something about you saying it.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Awesome.
Stark1: Oh yea? You think?
Hawkeye58: It’s always awesome when you think something I do is sexy.
Stark1: …….so, all the time?
Hawkeye58: Hahaha yup, guess so.
Stark1: “Guess”? My, we’re modest today. 😛
Hawkeye58: Am I? Damn. Must be catching something.
Stark1: Ha. Guess so. Try not to pass it on. I like myself as conceited as I am. 😉
Hawkeye58: Haha hey. Like it’s gonna last. 😛
Stark1: Yea, good point.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Modesty does not run long through me. 😛
Stark1: Oh, I’ve noticed.
Hawkeye58: If you didn’t, I’d worry.
Stark1: Ha. Impossible not to notice.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. It’s because I need to be the center of attention.
Stark1: ………why are you dating ME then? Doesn’t it make you have to fight for the spotlight?
Hawkeye58: Nah. I’m okay at sharing. Besides. Circus, remember. We were always fighting for the attention.
Stark1: Haha. You just said you need to be the center of attention.
Hawkeye58: I do. It’s complicated. Don’t judge me. 😛
Stark1: ….yea. You’re a weirdo. Weirdo.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha shut up. Like you can talk.
Stark1: Nope. But we’re making fun of you right now.
Hawkeye58: Oh is that what’s going on.
Stark1: Yup. It is.
Hawkeye58: Psh. Lucky I love you.
Stark1: Oh, cuz you don’t make fun of me all the time.
Hawkeye58: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Stark1: Yea, sure. You LOVE making fun of me. AND you called me old that one time. Asshole.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. But I love it.
Stark1: Haha what. Me being old?
Hawkeye58: Haha yeah. Well. Older. You’re really not that old. I just call you it cuz it’s funny. But I like it. Don’t know why. I think just cuz it’s you.
Stark1: You kinky bastard. 😉
Hawkeye58: Haha you love that, too.
Stark1: Oh yea.
“That old”. Tch. Asshole.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha I fucking love you.
Stark1: Mmhm. Right.
I’ll have you know that no one has ever complained. In fact, Jarvis may still have some footage floating around, if you wanna see just how “old” everyone thinks I am.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Who said I was complaining?
Stark1: Oh, alright. Well then, if you want to see everyone else’s level of enthusiasm.
Hawkeye58: Hey. No. I’m enthusiastic. Way more. Don’t care what they thought.
Stark1: Oh yea?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Totally more enthusiastic. And way more appreciative. Fucking love you.
Stark1: Heh. Like when you say it like that.
Hawkeye58: That I fucking love you?
Stark1: Heh. Yea. That.
Hawkeye58: Well, I do. So damn much.
Stark1: Heh. I fucking love you too.
Maybe later you can show me just how much you love your old geezer boyfriend, tonight when you sex me up.
Hawkeye58: Totally gonna. Show you just how damn much.
Stark1: Oh? Being old isn’t sounding too bad anymore.
Hawkeye58: Tch. Told you it wasn’t bad.
Stark1: Says the young guy.
You still gonna love me when I actually AM old?
Hawkeye58: Fuck yes. Why the hell wouldn’t I? You’re one of those guys that’s gonna age and just get sexier.
Stark1: …….okay, I REALLY want you to fuck me. Like, right now.
Hawkeye58: Well. Can’t right now. But I will totally fuck you when I get home.
Stark1: Haha well, snuggling and movie first, right? Or are we changing the plan? Cuz I am totally fine with you fucking me, then some snuggling and movie watching, and then more sex.
Hawkeye58: Haha yeah? Hnn. Maybe some light sex first. Then movie and snuggles. Then really put you to bed. If you’re up for it, old man. 😛
Stark1: OH MY GOD you are SUCH an asshole!
Hawkeye58: Hahaha not.
Stark1: Are too.
I can totally still pull out footage for you. Though you said you had to stand watch and babysit me, so you should know that, despite being an “old man”, I have no trouble satisfying more than one woman at the same time.
Hawkeye58: Tch. Yeah.
Stark1: “Yeah” what?
They got nothing on me.
Stark1: Mm. Either way, was still several at once. Besides, I’ve totally worn you out before. So shut your face, little boy.
Hawkeye58: Oi. Not little.
Stark1: If I’m an old man, that makes you a little boy.
Hawkeye58: Oh does it?
Stark1: Yup. It does. Well, the age difference is really much smaller that. You’d be more of a teenager. But “little boy” is just so much more fun to say.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha you think?
Stark1: I do. Has a nice ring to it.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Now who’s a pervert? 😛
Stark1: HA! Hey. Not at all what I meant and you know it. Jerk.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha you love me.
Stark1: Still a jerk.
You really think I’m just gonna get sexier as I get older?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I mean, I’ve seen pictures of you younger and you definitely age more than well.
Stark1: Ha! So what……I’m better looking now? I wasn’t attractive then?
Wait……where the hell did you see pictures of me when I was younger?
Hawkeye58: Nah. You were attractive then, too. And Google.
Stark1: What the fuck? You GOOGLED me? When? Why?
Hawkeye58: I don’t know, actually. Didn’t even realize it at first. It was like my brain just decided when it figured out that you were awesome. Maybe after the whole Iron Man thing. Cuz that was awesome.
Stark1: ……so……wait. It wasn’t part of your job, you just Googled me?
Stark1: …….that……is kinda adorable.
Hawkeye58: What? I mean……wait, really?
Stark1: Yea. You weren’t researching me for your job, you just wanted to know more about me. That’s pretty damn cute.
And you’re not creeped out? Cuz I swear I wasn’t being creepy. I was just curious.
Stark1: Hahaha oh yea, cuz that denial doesn’t sound at ALL creepy. 😛
Heh. No. Not creeped out.
Hawkeye58: Shut up.
I’m sorry. I mean. I’m glad you’re not mad. Just.
Stark1: Haha ass. Shut up. I don’t care. If you were prying it’d be one thing, but
Were you prying?
Sorry. Stupid question. I know you wouldn’t.
Hawkeye58: Nah. I mean. If I’d wanted to pry, I coulda asked SHIELD. I just. I mean, I really was interested in the stuff you did. I mean. We used some of your stuff back when you were making it. And like I said. I thought it was really amazing stuff.
Stark1: Yea? Heh.
Y’know…….I designed that quiver of yours. With the arrow heads.
Hawkeye58: fuck no shit, really?
Stark1: YEA really. One of my favorite jobs. I mean, how often do I get to work with stuff outside of missiles and shit like that? This was super fun.
Hawkeye58: Holy shit. That is awesome. Ha. How did you get that job? I mean. I somehow doubt one day you just decided to make a quiver like that.
Stark1: Was at SHIELD headquarters one day, working on tech. Came across some of your trick arrows and had the idea. Told Fury I could make you a better, easier system.
He ignored me, naturally, so I did it anyway. Bastard didn’t even thank me.
Oh well. It was fun.
Hawkeye58: Well, I’M thanking you. Woulda a long time ago. Shit. Totally upped my hit rate. And I don’t have to worry about accidentally setting off any of them.
Stark1: Heh. You’re welcome. Glad I could help. Glad you like it.
Hawkeye58: Love it. I love it.
Heh. So had you known about me and my ‘unconventional’ choice of weapon before, or were you surprised to find arrows lying around SHIELD?
Stark1: Haha yea, the arrows were a bit of a surprise. Thought it was neat, though. Like I said, I generally only work with missiles and bombs and shit like that. Even stuff like Tasha’s weird-ass wrist gun…..thingys. No idea what to call that shit. But arrows? No way had I done that before. Was really intrigued as soon as I saw them, and when I found out they weren’t normal arrows, that they did stuff, I was excited. Thought hey, this is something I can maybe get involved in. It became a new challenge.
Hawkeye58: Ha! Awesome. Glad to give you something new to do. Glad you ignored Fury when he told you no.
Stark1: Heh. Yea. Me too.
Hawkeye58: Fuck. You are so fucking awesome.
Stark1: Ha! Yea? Good to know you think so.
Hawkeye58: I do. Heh. Sorry. Damn though. Never knew. About the quiver.
Stark1: Haha its okay. Never really wanted to tell you before.
Hawkeye58: Really? Why?
Stark1: Well, usually when I make something, it has ‘Stark Industries’ on the side, so I don’t have to tell. This didn’t. In that sort of situation, normally I’d go out of my way to brag to the owner. “Isn’t that awesome? I made that. ME.” But I didn’t know you. So I really couldn’t. And then when I actually met you….
Yea. Told you all this part before. Totally fell for you. As much as I wanted to impress you, I didn’t want to brag. Didn’t seem right. Just watching you use it….enjoy it….that was enough.
Heh. That’s when I knew I was REALLY in trouble. If I was willing to let you see the nice side of me……I really liked you. Knew then that I was fucked.
You are the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me.
Stark1: God. You don’t know how good it is to hear you say that.
Hawkeye58: Well, it’s true.
Stark1: Ditto. Don’t know where I’d be without you. Someplace sucky.
So……these Google pictures of yours…….how young we talking?
Hawkeye58: Um, I think the earliest it actually had was one from when you took over Stark Industries.
Stark1: Ha! Oh man. Not good enough. Though yea, I was pretty damn foxy then.
Hawkeye58: Hey. I think you looked good.
Stark1: Hahahaha no, not what I meant. I looked DAMN good. Just meant that it’d be funnier if you saw pics of me when I was younger. Like, when I was at MIT. You like me nerdy? That was probably me at the height of my nerdy-sexy period. 😛
Hawkeye58: Aww. Now I wanna see it.
Stark1: Haha. That would also be jailbait, since I was 15. But I’ve got pictures I can show you.
Hawkeye58: Hey. I just wanna see you all cute and nerdy.
Stark1: Suuuuuuure you do. 😛
Should see me as a kid, too. I was a cute fucking kid.
Hawkeye58: Haha I’ll bet.
I think the earliest pictures of me I’ll be able to find were from the circus.
Stark1: Yea? How old were you?
Hawkeye58: When I was actually worth taking pictures of? Maybe sixteen?
Stark1: Hey. You were ALWAYS worth taking pictures of. Just cuz no one did doesn’t mean you weren’t worth it.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Glad you think so.
Stark1: Don’t think. I know.
Wish I could’ve seen you as a kid. God. You must’ve been the cutest fucking kid in the world.
Hawkeye58: Haha you’d totally be biased. 😛
Stark1: Haha maybe a little 😉 But that blonde hair and those big blue eyes on a little kid? Adorable.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Well. I do remember people calling me cute. So I won’t argue.
Stark1: Oh yea? Anyone I should worry about? Do I have to hunt someone down, kill them?
Hawkeye58: Haha I doubt it.
Stark1: Good. Cuz you’re mine.
Hawkeye58: Yup. And that’s not changing.
Stark1: Nope. Never.
Hawkeye58: Good. Cuz I’m very attached now and there’s nothing for it.
Stark1: Haha good. Like it that way.
Where are you?
Hawkeye58: Heading home. Home home.
Stark1: Really? For serious?
Hawkeye58: Yup. Told you it shouldn’t take too long.
Stark1: Yea. Wow. Heh. Awesome.
Hawkeye58: Well, I thought so.
Stark1: Heh. How long you think?
Hawkeye58: Hour, tops.
Stark1: Oh awesome. I need my cuddles. And my sexing.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I want those too. Miss my old man. 😛
Stark1: Hahaha such an ass.
Hawkeye58: Can’t help it. And you love it, anyway.
Stark1: Haha I love what, being called old?
Hawkeye58: Me being an ass. You know you do.
Stark1: Hahaha yea. And I guess from you, being called old is some kind of deranged term of endearment.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha yup. Totally is.
Stark1: Twisted fuck. 😉
Hawkeye58: Don’t I know it.
But be honest. You love that, too.
Stark1: Oh yea. Love everything about you.
Hawkeye58: Even when I’m being obnoxious?
Stark1: Haha yea. Even then.
Hawkeye58: Awesome. Cuz uh. I’ve been told I’m obnoxious even when I’m trying NOT to be. So it’d suck if you didn’t like that.
Stark1: Hahaha no. I love it. And I think I’m in the same boat.
Hawkeye58: Hell yeah you are.
Stark1: HA! Well, so long as YOU like it.
Hawkeye58: Course I do. Besides, our boats together become a yacht of obnoxious to annoy everyone with. 😀
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHAHA oh my God
Hawkeye58: It’s totally true.
Stark1: Yea. Totally is.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Don’t tell Coulson. He wouldn’t want me to have an obnoxious yacht.
Actually, no one would. Cept you.
Stark1: Oh yea. I love it.
Hawkeye58: Haha of course you do.
Stark1: Yup. A lot.
How far? Impatient boyfriend is getting impatient.
……..make that MORE impatient.
Hawkeye58: Haha who knew that was possible. Couple minutes.
Stark1: Ha! Brat.
Hawkeye58: Haha YOUR brat.
Stark1: Yup. All mine.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Love that. I really do.
Stark1: …..love what?
Hawkeye58: That I’m yours. Belonging like that.
Stark1: …….fuck. I love you so much.
Hawkeye58: I love you too. Heh. Doesn’t even feel weird saying it anymore.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Cuz……well, I know you’re not gonna leave me.
Stark1: …..you thought I was gonna leave you? How could you ever think that??
Hawkeye58: I. Haven’t had a really good track record. I mean, I didn’t think you would, but. I guess I was prepared if you did? Sort of.
Stark1: You idiot. I don’t know how you couldn’t understand. Even from that first night…….how much…….how very much I loved you.
Hawkeye58: Hey. I’m slow sometimes. What can I say 😛
Stark1: Yea. Tch. God. That first night, at the gala, and after……God. Thought I was going to die from so much happiness. And yet I was terrified that when it was done, you’d just leave. But I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried. Even if you didn’t want more than just a fuck……I would’ve had you for one night. For one night, I could imagine you were mine.
Hawkeye58: Haha well….that one night, and I was. Am.
Stark1: Yea? Don’t think you really were. Not right away. You didn’t love me. Wanted to be with me, but it wasn’t love.
Still more than I ever thought I’d get.
Hawkeye58: No, I didn’t. But.
I don’t know. I didn’t want to lose you, either. I was happy, you know? Love came later.
Stark1: Heh. Yea. And it was so amazing, to be able to make you happy.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. You’re very good at that.
Stark1: Yea? Good. I try.
Hawkeye58: And you succeed.
Hawkeye58: Hey. They’re just gonna drop me off in the yard. I’ll be in in a bit.
Stark1: You’re here?
Stark1: Oh awesome. So um. Snuggling and movies, then sex, then talking?
Hawkeye58: Sounds like a plan.
Stark1: Okay. Cool. Heh. Wana make sure you’re not too distracted to sex me up. I want my sexing. 😛
Hawkeye58: Haha clever bastard. 😉
Stark1: Heh you bet.
Hawkeye58: Good. I like that.
Stark1: Like what?
Hawkeye58: You being all clever. It’s sexy.
Stark1: Haha! Even when it’s keeping secrets? Earlier you said that was annoying.
Hawkeye58: Well it is, but it’s sexy too.
Stark1: Yea? Heh. I like that. You’re just making me want sex all over again.
Hawkeye58: Like you ever stopped.
Stark1: Ha! No. But I’d gotten used to the idea of snuggles first. You tell me it turns you on that I’m clever…..THAT just makes me want sex NOW.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Don’t ruin the plan. I liked the plan.
Stark1: Ha! Hey. YOU ruined the plan. Getting me all horny. I blame you.
Hawkeye58: Totally not my fault.
Stark1: Oh yea? YOU’RE the one who got me riled. How is that not your fault?
Hawkeye58: Because you’re the one who was being all clever.
Stark1: Oh? So basically I got YOU all riled first?
Heh. You ever think about me being all clever and wank off to that?
Hawkeye58: No, but I should.
…….are you fucking serious?
Hawkeye58: What. I think about other things concerning you.
Stark1: Yea? Thought it was just the suit.
Hawkeye58: Mostly. You naked is good, too.
Stark1: Yea? Well, I’d hope so.
Hawkeye58: Of course, yea.
I really REALLY want you. Think of something that’ll calm me down.
Stark1: Ha! Still lots of full body contact.
Think I’ll take a quick cold shower. As clichéd as that may be. 😛
Hawkeye58: Really? Heh. I’m sorry.
Stark1: Hahaha not your fault. Besides, I like knowing this shit. Knowing you feel this way.
Hawkeye58: And I do.
Want me to get the movie set up and stuff? I’ll be in in a few.
Stark1: Heh. Yea, sure. Halloween movies okay? Or is that too geeky?
Hawkeye58: No. That’s awesome. Any particular one?
Stark1: Heh. Well. Maybe one now and one later? A scary one and a goofy one. I was thinking ‘Hocus Pocus’ and then maybe ‘The Shining’? Though I really kinda wanna watch ‘Wallace and Grommit: the Curse of the Were Rabbit’. But that’d be two goofy ones. Hard to decide. Clint, help me. 😦
Hawkeye58: Hahaha ass.
I like the one with the talking cat. I don’t care which of the other two. Though would watching ‘The Shining’ ruin the mood?
Stark1: Ha! Well, we could always watch it later. Encourage some cuddling up in bed. You seen ‘Were Rabbit’?
Hawkeye58: Don’t think so.
Stark1: Okay, we’re watching that. There’s something supremely delightful about scores of Claymation bunnies.
Hawkeye58: That sounds freaking hilarious.
Stark1: Hahahaha it is. It’s fantastic. Totally amazing on every level.
You ever need a pick me up? Claymation bunnies are the way to go.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha yeah?
Stark1: Oh, most definitely. Doesn’t even need to be Halloween. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been feeling down and I’ve just popped that film in, just to watch the bunnies. They always cheer me up.
Is that nerdy? I think that’s really nerdy. Oh well. You like me nerdy.
Hawkeye58: Haha I do. Love it.
Really looking forward to seeing these bunnies now.
Stark1: Good. They’re awesome. So, ‘Hocus Pocus’ and ‘Were Rabbit’.
And then afterwards, we can fuck like rabbits. 😉
Hawkeye58: Hahahaha! That sounds good, too.
Stark1: Oh yea?
Hawkeye58: I will definitely not argue with that plan.
Stark1: Glad to hear it.
Well, I think I’ve actually chilled out enough that I don’t need the shower. I’ll set things up. You here yet?
Hawkeye58: Be there in a minute.
Stark1: Good. Get your cute ass in here.
Hawkeye58: Haha well, if you insist.
Stark1: Mm. I do.
Hawkeye58: Well I guess I shouldn’t keep you waiting any longer.
Stark1: Nope. Not at all. Want these sappy blanketed cuddles that you requested.
Hawkeye58: Gonna get em. Oh. Did you get the fluffy blanket? Need the damn fluffy one.
Stark1: Oh my God you are so Goddamn fucking cute.
Yes. I’ll grab the fluffy one. Heh.
Hawkeye58: Shut up that blanket is awesome.
Stark1: Heh. YOU’RE awesome.
Y’know, this says a lot about our relationship. I offer you anything and your first choice is cuddles. That really shows how emotionally attached we are. How much we love each other.
Hawkeye58: Hey……….I still wanted sex, too.
Stark1: Haha hey. Can’t you just admit that you’re ridiculously in love with me? Jerk.
Hawkeye58: Thought I did. What. I can’t be ridiculously in love and still want sex? 😛
Stark1: Hahaha no, you can. You just HAD to phrase the above sentence in a way that sounded as though you weren’t so emotionally attached as it seemed.
Now where the hell are you? Thought you said just a minute.
Hawkeye58: Stopped to make popcorn. It’s a movie and I’m hungry. But I’m headed in now.
Stark1: Heh. You’re adorable. Well, hurry on in. I’m waiting.