Mancation: A marketing term for a vacation trip for men only. Sometimes hyphenated man-cation.
Note: This is an old one. Comes in right around the time of ‘Showing Off’.
Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton. First chapter text format, second chapter story format.
Hawkeye58: Tony. I don’t want to go to this meeting. This is lame.
Stark1: Yea, meetings usually are. What’s it for?
Hawkeye58: Stupid mission coming up. It’s the last briefing before it so I can’t even play hooky.
Stark1: Should you really be talking to me if you’re going over important information?
Hawkeye58: It hasn’t started yet. And most of it won’t concern me anyway. 😛
Stark1: ……yea? You sure? What if something goes wrong like the roof collapsing that time or that guy’s redheaded man fetish, and it ends up being you and not Tasha?
Hawkeye58: ……point taken. But still. Hasn’t started yet.
Stark1: ……….so how long’re you leaving me this time?
Hawkeye58: ….just a few days.
Stark1: Yea? How many’s a few?
Hawkeye58: Least three. Four I guess if you count travel.
Stark1: Dammit. I hate your job.
Hawkeye58: Hey. My job introduced us.
Stark1: Ha. True. It still takes you too far away from me far too often for far too long.
Hawkeye58: I know. I don’t like that part either.
Stark1: Ha. Well I’d hope not. If you liked spending time away from me, it’d be a bad sign for our relationship.
Hawkeye58: Ha true. But luckily not the case.
Stark1: Yea. Luckily.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Ugh. This needs to start so I can leave.
Stark1: Heh. Wait……four days?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Why?
Stark1: Fuck. I have a meeting. There’s a big meeting in Japan.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Well. Least you’ll be busy.
Stark1: No you idiot. I mean I’ll be leaving right as you’re getting back.
Hawkeye58: Wait. Really? But. No.
Stark1: Yea really! Dammit.
Hawkeye58: Nooooo. You’re not supposed to have meetings.
Stark1: HA! What, your job can take YOU away from ME for days at a time, but I’M not allowed to go away on business?
Stark1: Haha well sorry baby, it doesn’t work that way. Maybe you’ve gotten used to me being home, and come to expect otherwise, but I DO have a life, and a job.
Hawkeye58: …..well that’s dumb.
Stark1: Ha! Me having a life outside you is dumb? But it’s okay if you have one outside me?
…..still don’t have to like it.
Stark1: No. No, you don’t. Which is good. Good to know you’ll miss me.
Hawkeye58: Course I’ll miss you. Don’t be dumb. I miss you now.
Stark1: Heh. Good.
……well, after this mission, how long till you have to leave again?
Hawkeye58: Don’t know. Nothing’s set yet. I mean. I get three days but you’ll be gone. I can try and opt out of any others for a bit. Shouldn’t be a problem unless it’s serious.
Stark1: …..well……you wanna come with me?
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Really? Can you do that?
Stark1: Hell yea I can do that. I’m Tony fucking Stark.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Right. Should have realized that.
Stark1: Fuck yea you should’ve. And it’s my company. I can bring you if I want. If YOU want.
…..so……do you want?
Hawkeye58: Hell yes I want. The alternative is much less appealing and highly pathetic.
Stark1: Hahaha what……staying home alone, like I do? S’that make ME pathetic? Ass.
Hawkeye58: No. Because you do science stuff. I’d probably spend most of my time wandering around aimlessly.
Stark1: Ha. Well, I’d really like it if you came.
Hawkeye58: Well then even more reason I should go.
Stark1: Yea. It is. Hey. I can take you around. Show you all the best sights.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? I’d like that. I mean. I’ve been to Japan before. But never got to look around. Didn’t even get to see it from street level much. This’ll be neat.
……I won’t be interfering with business, right?
Stark1: Heh. Good. I figured as much.
Nah. You won’t interfere. When I’m not in meetings, we’ll see the country. We’ll sort it out.
Hawkeye58: Great. Heh. Thanks. You know. Didn’t have to bring me along, so it means a lot.
Stark1: You idiot. I know I don’t have to. I WANT to.
Hawkeye58: Well, yeah. And that makes it even better.
Stark1: Heh. Good. Well, the meeting’s in Tokyo. But we’ll have to travel around. Should see Kyoto. Definitely hit up an onsen.
Hawkeye58: Onsen? That those hot spring things? We’ll be in Tokyo?
…….I wanna climb the tower.
Stark1: Yea, they’re hot springs. And no, you are NOT climbing the tower. That’s all I need, you getting arrested in Japan.
Hawkeye58: D: Can we at least go up the regular way then?
Stark1: Haha of course we can.
Hawkeye58: Okay cool. This is gonna be great.
Stark1: Yea? Good. You want an American style hotel or a traditional Japanese style hotel?
Hawkeye58: Um. Whichever. I’m not picky on that.
Stark1: Yea? Well, one of each, then. Regular in Tokyo, traditional in Kyoto.
Hawkeye58: Great. Sounds great. Can’t wait.
Stark1: Yea? Heh. Awesome. I’m so glad we can do this.
Hawkeye58: Me too.
……so how many times have you been over there?
Stark1: Uh……gee. I don’t know. I’d have to think about that.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Don’t have to. Was just curious.
Stark1: Heh. Yea. Dad started taking me to trade shows when I was really little. Guess that helped get me interested in all this science crap. But mom came too sometimes, and she would take me around to see the sights. Anyways….I travel a lot.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I figured. Must be neat. I mean, I travel a hell of a lot but it’s different. Usually I don’t get much time to really see anything. Which is kinda ironic.
Stark1: Yea. Well, you’ll just have to come with me more often.
Hawkeye58: I could live with that.
Stark1: Ha! Yea? Good.
Hawkeye58: Of course yeah. I mean, if I’m able. Wish I could offer the same.
Stark1: Heh. Sooner or later I’m going to.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Heh. Gonna surprise me?
Stark1: Haha. Maybe. Watch you with your sexy bow. And then when you’re done I’ll throw you down, strip you, and ride you so hard you won’t be able to walk the next day.
Hawkeye58: Oh? Been thinking that one through, have you?
Stark1: Oh, I think about that one all the time. You have no idea how much.
Hawkeye58: Apparently not….
……think me not being able to walk might be a bad thing if we’re still in hostile territory?
Stark1: Mm. I think we’ll manage somehow. Unless you object at all to my plans?
Hawkeye58: No. Not at all. I like it.
Stark1: Oh good. Cuz when I eventually do come out there, I doubt I’ll be able to stop myself.
Hawkeye58: Really? Heh. Awesome.
Stark1: Oh yea? “Awesome” is it?
Hawkeye58: Hell yea awesome. Nice to be able to get you that worked up.
Stark1: Fuck yea. You’re so fucking sexy like that.
Hawkeye58: Well yeah. I’m sexy always.
Stark1: Duh. But you’re ridiculously hot like that.
Hawkeye58: Ha. What? In super spy assassin mode?
Stark1: Fuck yea.
Hawkeye58: We should let you indulge in that some.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. You don’t ask for much……surprisingly. 😛 And hey….I’m all for it.
Stark1: HAHA yea? I don’t? Huh. Never really thought about it.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Mostly you just let me do what I want. I figured you being you, you wouldn’t be quiet if you didn’t like something. Or if you wanted something.
Stark1: Well, I like you being in charge.
……is that weird?
Hawkeye58: No. I like being in charge. And shut up. I know damn well sometimes you push me along to get me to do what you want, you sneaky bastard.
Stark1: HAHAHA yea. But it’s generally just to get you to take charge.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Dick.
Stark1: You love it.
Hawkeye58: Yeah…..I do…..and that must be WAY more fucked up than you liking me in charge. Damn, Stark. You know you’re dating a crazy person?
Stark1: HAHAHA yup. And vice versa. And I’m MORE than okay with that. I love you, you crazy fucking bastard.
Hawkeye58: Ha! Well. So long as we’re both aware and consenting then we should be good.
Stark1: Yup. Definitely good.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Tch. I wanna come see you.
Stark1: Hahaha well unfortunately you’ve got a mission.
Hawkeye58: I know and it sucks. I have to work with all these people and they’re like, almost worse than Steve with his stick in the ass attitude.
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yea, somehow I doubt that.
Hawkeye58: They are, though. No one here understands me. Like, I’m TRYING to be good. I WANT things to go smoothly. But they’re looking at me like I just told them the sky is purple and I can fly.
Stark1: ………….you REALLY love purple, don’t you.
Hawkeye58: ……………..….purple is awesome.
Stark1: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my God I love you.
Hawkeye58: Well yeah. Though I don’t see how me liking purple has anything to do with that, ass.
Stark1: Hahaha nothing. Just don’t know many guys who do. Or who admit to it, anyway.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Purple is a good color. And it looks good on me.
Stark1: Haha yea? You don’t wear it that often.
Hawkeye58: Well I don’t get the chance all that often. My uniform has some on it.
Stark1: Heh true. You have anything to do with that?
Hawkeye58: I think they did it to mock me and it backfired.
Stark1: HAHAHA oh man. How about your pants? You have anything to do with how Goddamn tight they are?
Hawkeye58: That. No. But SHIELD apparently really enjoys the whole skintight thing.
Stark1: Yea well it seems like only you and Tasha wear the skintight stuff. Not that I’m complaining.
Hawkeye58: Ha. So long as you enjoy the view.
Stark1: Oh I do. Those tits are awesome.
Hawkeye58: Hell yeah they are. Though I hope she wasn’t getting ALL your attention.
Stark1: Hmm? Sorry, I missed that. I was still stuck on the tits. Which you, by the way, are not supposed to be looking at.
Hawkeye58: Hey. I’m trying!
Stark1: ……….that was SO not the right response. You’re still looking at Tasha’s tits? Okay, no.
Hawkeye58: Not like it’s on purpose! It just happens!
Stark1: Yea okay. I gotta go.
Hawkeye58: What? No. Tony come on.
Stark1: No. You’re not supposed to be checking Tasha out. Random women are one thing. Tasha? Just…..just no.
Hawkeye58: I’m sorry! I wasn’t. I wasn’t checking her out or anything. I happened to be glancing in the direction she was in. It wasn’t like I was singling her out.
Stark1: And your gaze travelled to her tits. Naturally. Cuz you know, when I see MY former fuck buddies, my eyes immediately go to their tits or their cocks.
Hawkeye58: No. I just know that they’re nice. YOU brought it up first.
Stark1: Yea. As a JOKE. Fuck. But I guess that makes it alright. She’s got a sweet ass, too. Why don’t you go check that out? I’ll wait.
Hawkeye58: Tony! Come on. That’s not. I don’t think of Natasha like that.
Stark1: Yea okay. That’s why you keep looking and speaking so appreciatively of them.
Hawkeye58: That’s not. Tony I didn’t mean it like that.
Stark1: Whatever. Forget it.
Hawkeye58: Tony. Fuck. What do you want me to do? Please. I don’t want to fight like this.
Stark1: It’s fine. Don’t need to do anything.
Hawkeye58: That’s bullshit. Fuck…
Stark1: Just forget it. If you say you can’t help it, you can’t help it.
Hawkeye58: Nothing….nothing. I’m sorry.
Stark1: Whatever. It’s fine.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Okay. Sure.
Stark1: ………..you mad at me?
Hawkeye58: No. That’d be stupid of me.
Hawkeye58: I’m not mad at you Tony.
Stark1: Okay. I….okay.
Hawkeye58: Look. I’m sorry. I won’t bring up any of that again, okay? Won’t mention it. Won’t comment on it. Be like I never cared. Okay? Just….don’t be upset. I don’t want to leave when you’re upset.
Stark1: But you DID care. Can’t just erase that because I’m jealous and possessive.
Hawkeye58: Can redact whatever I want. Didn’t happen. Won’t matter. I’ll get rid of it. I’ll talk to the damn shrinks next time I’m in. Find a way to stop it. I’ll fix it.
Stark1: What the fuck Clint. No. I don’t want that. Don’t fucking erase who you were just because I can’t cope.
Hawkeye58: It’s not…..I just. I don’t like this. I don’t like that I keep fucking up. I shouldn’t keep fucking up. It’s not like it’s gonna change me. I’ll just stop screwing up.
Stark1: No. I don’t want you to do this. I’ll just…..I need to suck it up. I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Don’t be sorry. Fuck Tony. Shit. I’m crap at this.
……look. I’m sorry that I look. But. I mean. You’re the only one I want to BE with.
Stark1: I……I know. I just……you didn’t just FUCK her, you really cared about her. So that one…..that one hurts. I get jealous. I’m sorry I get so jealous.
Hawkeye58: Don’t……hey. I mean. Okay, sorry I’m an ass but it’s kinda nice knowing you’re actually jealous over me. And yeah. I mean, I did care about her like that before. But not anymore. And never like with you.
Stark1: How would you not expect me to be jealous?! I’m fucking jealous all the time! I was jealous before we were even together! It’s fucking pathetic and I hate it.
Hawkeye58: …….you were jealous before we started dating? And hey. At least you don’t go around shooting people. Or trying to.
Stark1: ……yea. I was. Shut up. I know it’s stupid. I wanted you and you seemed either oblivious or uninterested. And I couldn’t stand watching you with her. With anyone.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Really? Awesome. I mean. Not that you were upset……no actually that kinda makes it awesome. But. Yeah I was just sorta not paying attention. Didn’t realize that I would be this interested……guess I should’ve.
Stark1: …….yea? Why’s that
Hawkeye58: Because you’re worth it all.
Stark1: ……..God you drive me nuts. Why the hell did I have to fall in love with you
Hawkeye58: Ha! I don’t know. Probably would’ve been a helluva lot easier on you if you hadn’t
Stark1: You think? Motherfucker
Hawkeye58: Sorry? Pretty sure I did point out how obnoxious and difficult I was, though…..you insisted it was fine.
Stark1: Yea. I know.
Hawkeye58: And you know. If you want space, just tell me to fuck off……guess you kinda did and I ignored that too, huh….
Stark1: Shut up. I don’t want space. I want you.
Hawkeye58: You sure? Cuz I totally get it. I mean. Not that I’ll listen always.
Hawkeye58: …….yeah. Okay……
……so……I’ll see you in four days…….right?
Stark1: I don’t want to see you in four days.
Stark1: No you idiot. Now. I want to see you NOW. Fuck. You’re ridiculously glib about all this. Do you just not care? I’m sorry okay? I’m so fucking sorry. Just please……fuck. Give me SOMETHING to work with here. Don’t just tell me you’ll go away, that you understand, you don’t mind. Is it really that easy for you? Fuck.
Hawkeye58: Fuck no! Fuck. I think I just lost everything I ate in the last week and I can’t fucking breathe. But I can’t……fuck I can’t.
Stark1: Fuck. Fuck. I made you fucking sick? Fuck. I’m sorry. I just. Fuck. What can I do
Hawkeye58: Um. It’s fine. Just……you’re really not pissed at me? Like, unfixable pissed?
Stark1: Fuck. No! No! I couldn’t. I could never be. Fuck. I’m sorry. I can’t……fuck. Look at Tasha all you want just don’t get upset like this. I don’t wanna hurt you like this.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Told you. It’s not that I want to…….just. Kinda habit. Looking at her. Not her chest. I mean that’s there too but…..fuck I should just shut up now. I’m doing a fuck up job explaining.
Stark1: No its okay. I just. I need to shut my fucking mouth and learn to deal with it.
Hawkeye58: Nah. S’not fair to you. I go off the deep end all the time. Fuck. Just. Thought I’d really fucked it this time.
Stark1: No. No. I told you. I’m not letting you go. Unless you want to leave me. Even then…..I don’t know. But I don’t want to. I want to keep you.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Still belong to a Mr. Anthony Stark? I’m good with that. More than good with that.
Stark1: Okay. Okay good. I. Good. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve…..I’m sorry. I just…….I’m so sorry.
Hawkeye58: Hey. Hey shut up. Seriously. I should know better by now. Like you said. Idiot here. Hey……I love you.
Stark1: …….hey. I don’t mean……..I don’t really think you’re an idiot. Fuck. I just suck.
Hawkeye58: Yeah you do. And it’s awesome. And I know you mean it endearingly. So don’t worry about it.
Stark1: I don’t! I don’t really think you’re an idiot! I mean, you can be dumb about things, but you’re not an idiot. I don’t think that at all.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. I love you.
Stark1: ……well…….you seem to be less upset anyway.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I’m okay.
Stark1: Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t’ve……..I need to get over Tasha. I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: Yeah well. I know it’s not easy. Hell. I got mad at you for still having that one picture of Pepper. I get it. I do. And I know I don’t help.
Stark1: ……yea. Okay.
……I love you, you know. So much.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I know. Should know. Sorry I’m dumb.
Stark1: ……….wait. You really doubted that?
Hawkeye58: Not when I’m thinking properly. No.
Stark1: Okay. Okay good. Don’t ever want you to doubt that.
Hawkeye58: I won’t. Seriously. Couldn’t. Love you too much to think it isn’t returned…..except like I said, when I’m being stupid. That doesn’t count.
Stark1: ………..you said……..before. You said before that you never cared for Tasha like you care for me.
Hawkeye58: …….yeah. I mean. With Nat. It was danger and it was hot but……it didn’t go deeper. I wanted something more and I never got that until you.
Stark1: …………fuck. Wow. I. I wanna see you.
Hawkeye58: Well. We’re not leaving until tomorrow morning? Can work with that?
Stark1: …..yea? Really? Where are you right now?
Hawkeye58: Carrier’s above Boston right now.
Stark1: Yea? Should I meet you somewhere? Where’re you guys leaving from tomorrow?
Hawkeye58: Leaving from here. If there’s a place nearby? I have to be on a jet by 0500.
Stark1: Can just grab a hotel? Just……just wanna be with you. Don’t care where.
Hawkeye58: Hotel is good. We can get a hotel.
Stark1: Yea? Okay good. Good. Where’re you landing? I’ll come get you.
Hawkeye58: Um. Logan. Logan Airport. I can get dropped there?
Stark1: Okay yea. Great. I. Sorry.
Hawkeye58: Stop. I just wanna see you. We were both stupid.
Stark1: Yea. I’m sorry. Just……okay. How far away are you?
Hawkeye58: Ten minutes. That okay?
Stark1: Yea. That’s great.
Hawkeye58: No. No, I asked someone else to pilot.
Stark1: Okay. I…….I’d feel REALLY stupid if she’d been there the whole time we were fighting about her. I’m…..yea. Sorry. But you know that.
Hawkeye58: No. Didn’t tell her. Not gonna.
……do have to get her to pick me back up in the morning. But I’ll deal with that then.
Stark1: ……..deal with what?
Hawkeye58: Calling her to come pick me up.
Stark1: Why do you have to deal with that?
Hawkeye58: Because she’s not gonna be happy about having to leave an hour earlier to haul my vagrant self back.
Stark1: ………….oh. Can I meet you somewhere closer? Make it easier?
Hawkeye58: Heh. Nowhere really closer that we can fit a jet. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.
Stark1: ……okay. If you want.
Hawkeye58: Tony. Seriously, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. “Deal with” was probably a bad choice of words. It’s fine. I just. I want to see you.
Stark1: Yea? Okay good. Good. Wanna see you so bad.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Me too. Need to. Wanted to before I left, anyway. But. Need to.
Stark1: “Need”? Heh. Like that.
Hawkeye58: Yeah…..well. I don’t usually need much, especially when it comes to people. But you’re kinda topping that list.
Stark1: ….well, I’d HOPE so. If you needed anyone more than me, I’d be extremely depressed.
Hawkeye58: Haha yeah. No. No one above you.
Stark1: Good. Keep it that way. Don’t want you needing anyone else.
Hawkeye58: Not like I do you.
Stark1: Yea. Exactly. Keep needing me just like that.
Hawkeye58: Don’t need to tell me twice.
Stark1: Heh. Good.
……..you almost here? Want you to hold me.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Yeah. Descending now. You there? Should be able to see the quinjet.
Stark1: Oh yea! I see you. Good. Hurry up. Need you. And I hate needing things. So hurry up.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Spoiled. You’ll get me in a second.
Stark1: I AM spoiled. Immensely. And you’re one thing I can’t ever get enough of.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. That’s what happens when there’s only one of me. Alright…..that you? I think I see you.
Stark1: There BETTER be only one of you. Want you all to myself. And you need help seeing me? Should I open my shirt, flash you my glowy chest?
Hawkeye58: Keep your damn shirt on. You don’t need any more help standing out anyway, ass.
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHA you think?
Hawkeye58: Pretty damn positive, actually.
Stark1: Oh yea?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Okay. I’m headed over. See me?
Stark1: Yup. See me? Huh? Huh? See the glowyness?
Hawkeye58: ……you are such an ass. But I love you. And yes. I see you.
Stark1: Heh. Good. Get over here. I’m getting some weird looks.
Hawkeye58: Gee, ya think
Stark1: Hahaha what. Just your everyday shirtless billionaire with a glowing chest.
Hawkeye58: Fucking ass. Put your damn shirt back on. I can get to you just fine.
Stark1: Hahahahahaha why? You like my shirt off.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. But not where anyone else can see you. Or see the easily targeted glowy thing that keeps you alive. Dumbass.
Stark1: What, you think someone’s gonna just randomly snipe me?
Hawkeye58: ……maybe. It happens…..I should know.
Stark1: Ha. Well, I think I’ll be fine. But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll put it back on.
Hawkeye58: Thank you. Sorry. I’m paranoid, I know. But hey. Helps keep me alive, right.
Stark1: Haha yea. Keep that up. I like having you alive. And here. So hurry up.
Hawkeye58: I’m here. I’ll meet you in a second.
Hawkeye58: God, your awareness of your surroundings needs work. Right in front of you.
Stark1: Hey! Hahaha I didn’t know if you wanted me to wait here or what. I know where you are, asshole.
Hawkeye58: Why the hell would I want you to move when I’m already headed toward you? And behind you. Coffee place.
Stark1: ……..wait, what? You don’t want me to move but you……..what? SPEAK ENGLISH
Hawkeye58: Well, that isn’t like you’re moving. Nevermind. Just wait there.
Stark1: ……….go behind me? Is THAT what you meant?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. It’s right there.
Stark1: …………..so am I going there or staying here?
Hawkeye58: Just. Just stay there.
Stark1: Heh. Yes sir.