A Goat for Christmas: Chapter 1

Months before December, Tony and Clint begin contemplating their first Christmas together.

Again, sorry to post a new story before finishing some of the older ones, but this is another of the older ones (probably done in like, August) and I thought a Christmas story was appropriate.



Hawkeye58:  Tony.  Coulson took my bow.



Stark1:  What?  Wait, what?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Something about warning me about using junior agents for target practice.  But it’s a LEARNING experience for them.  And he TOOK it.



Stark1:  …….well yea, maybe you shouldn’t be doing that.



Hawkeye58:  It’s good for them.  This is unfair.



Stark1:  You wanna shoot arrows at someone, come shoot them at me.



Hawkeye58:  What?  No.



Stark1:  What?  I’ve got the suit.  It’s not like I’ll get hurt!



Hawkeye58:  …….yeah.  That’s true.

……but you won’t make the faces they do.



Stark1:  HA!  You’re such an asshole.



Hawkeye58:  Hey.  Keeps them on their toes.  That experience could save their lives one day.  Plus it keeps me entertained.



Stark1:  You’re still an asshole.



Hawkeye58:  Haha yeah.  Okay, I’ll give you that.



Stark1:  Better.  It’s not up for debate.



Hawkeye58:  HA.  Fine, fine.



Stark1:  Yup.



Hawkeye58:  So……shoot at you, huh?



Stark1:  …..yea?  Why……is that an issue?



Hawkeye58:  No.  I mean.  In your suit?  Could be good practice.



Stark1:  Yea.  Exactly.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Okay.  Let’s do that sometime……when I get my bow back.



Stark1:  Don’t need to worry bout that.  Got one here.  Been working on it for you.  Kind of a special gift.



Hawkeye58:  Really!  Oh man awesome!



Stark1:  Heh.  Yea I think you’ll like it.



Hawkeye58:  Oh man.  I wanna see it



Stark1:  Hahaha.  Well, when you come home.  I’ve been hiding it in one of the labs at Stark Tower.  Didn’t want you to stumble across it.



Hawkeye58:   Ha.  Good place to hide it.



Stark1:  Heh.  I thought so.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  But now I know you hide presents there.



Stark1:  No.  You know I hid A present there.



Hawkeye58:  How do I know you don’t hide more?  Could be lots of fun stuff.



Stark1:  Oh, there’s always TONS of fun stuff there.  There’s ten floors of labs.  But you can be damn certain I’m going to make sure any and all gifts remain well hidden.



Hawkeye58:  Aww.  No fun.



Stark1:  Ha.  Don’t you know you’re not supposed to peek at your toys?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Heh.  Never really came up I guess.



Stark1:  …….you never had Christmas?



Hawkeye58:  …..I don’t know.  Think we might have tried.  Long time ago.



Stark1:  …….okay, fuck that.  You need Christmas.  That’s like…..non-negotiable.  We’re gonna have Christmas.



Hawkeye58:   Heh.  You don’t have to.  I mean.  It sounds great.

……………………I just managed to admit I’m really pathetic, didn’t I?



Stark1:  Fuck no.  What?  No.  That has nothing to do with you.  Not your fault.  You are NOT pathetic.  And we’re having Christmas.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Okay.  We’ll celebrate Christmas.  Do you usually celebrate?  I mean.  What do you do for yours?



Stark1:  ……I’m usually pretty much on my own.  Just me and Pepper.  And I do the party circuit.  But I have memories of Christmas with my parents.  Mostly good.  I think I can put together a pretty good Christmas.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah…..I’ll actually do some research.  I want to input…..something.



Stark1:  Haha okay.  It’ll be great.  That’s one of the really great things about Christmas.  The longer you celebrate together, you start developing your own traditions.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Awesome.



Stark1:  Yea.  So you and me’ll have our own stuff that no one else does.



Hawkeye58:  I like that.  I’m excited now



Stark1:  Heh yea?  Good.  Good.  I wanna make you happy.



Hawkeye58:  Well.  You do regardless.  But.  Heh.  Thanks.  This is.  It’s neat.



Stark1:  Good.  Good.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah…..hey.  We should do the straw goat thing.  That’s what I wanna do.  Is that Christmas?  Maybe that’s just a winter thing…..



Stark1:  ………..I don’t think I’ve even HEARD of that.  What straw goat thing?



Hawkeye58:  I don’t know.  It’s German.  Or Scandinavian, maybe.



Stark1:  Haha okay.  You’ll have to tell me all about it when you get home.  But yea.  We can do it.  Whatever it is.  😛



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Heh.  Some old lady gave me one one time around Christmas over there.  Didn’t get it.  But she got me out of the cold so I wasn’t gonna question it.



Stark1:  Aww!  PLEASE tell me you still have that!



Hawkeye58:  What….the straw goat?   ……….yeah.



Stark1:  AWESOME.  That’s gotta be involved somehow.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Yeah?  I’ll have to dig it out.



Stark1:  Yea.  Definitely.  There you go.  Tradition #1, already.



Hawkeye58:  Awesome.  First tradition.  Ha.



Stark1:  Haha yea.  Hey, when’re you out of work?



Hawkeye58:  Couple hours.  Stupid briefing.



Stark1:  You have too many of those.



Hawkeye58:  I know.  I hate them but I guess they’re necessary.



Stark1:  Still annoying.



Hawkeye58:  Don’t I know it.



Stark1:  Well, I’ll have dinner ready.

…….like a 1950s housewife.



Hawkeye58:  HAHAHA oh man.

You’re fucking cute sometimes, you know that.



Stark1:  Haha!  Why’s that?



Hawkeye58:  Because.  You just do things sometimes that I think are cute.  Like having dinner ready.  That’s cute.



Stark1:  Haha.  I wanna feed you.  Don’t see why that’s cute.  But good.  Glad you think so.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  I love you.



Stark1:  You better.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Would you make me?



Stark1:  Heh.  Like to think I already did.



Hawkeye58:  True enough that.  Persistent bastard.



Stark1:  HA!  Oh, like you would’ve given me a chance otherwise.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  True.  Wouldn’t have thought about it.  Thanks for your persistence.



Stark1:  Wouldn’t have thought about what?



Hawkeye58:  Trying for you.



Stark1:  …..yea?  Cuz of lack of interest or…..what?



Hawkeye58:  Well.  Told you before I never really looked at guys in general.  And don’t know if you know this.  But you’re Tony Stark.  Kind of outside my league.  So I thought.



Stark1:  ………….wait…………………..I’m Tony Stark?



Hawkeye58:  I know.  Surprised, right.



Stark1:  Oh, utterly shocked.

……..so…….you weren’t looking at guys……but you were looking at me?



Hawkeye58:  No.  Not really.  And yes.  Because you initiated it.  Caught my attention in a different way.



Stark1:  Yea?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Namely.  When I ignored you, you accepted the challenge.  Heh.  And threw some back.



Stark1:  Hahaha yea.  I was pretty intent on you.



Hawkeye58:  Seriously…..what the hell is wrong with you?  😛



Stark1:  HAHAHA oh, the list is long, but distinguished.



Hawkeye58:  I’m sure.  Damn.



Stark1:  What?



Hawkeye58:  We are one fucked up couple.



Stark1:  Well, yea, there was never any question about that.

……when did you first start looking at me?  I mean, more than passing glances looking?



Hawkeye58:  Um.  Remember that time Fury called everyone in because that crazy guy had set up all those bombs and had a detonator, and I said I could take the shot to get him to drop it?  And Steve said it was too risky if I missed?  You took my side on that.  Kinda figured I had you in my corner…I should probably at least talk to you more.



Stark1:  …………so it was because I supported you.  Not that you were interested.



Hawkeye58:  Well.  When I first started actually looking at you other than marking your position.  You mean when I started looking even more?



Stark1:  ….yea.



Hawkeye58:  Oh.  That……

……kinda started a few days later.  We were drinking.  And it was fun.  And…..yeah.  Don’t know.  Just happened.



Stark1:  …………you are really frustrating, you know that?  I’m looking for details, here.



Hawkeye58:  I don’t know!  I was still denying it was happening.  Still wasn’t sure.  I just.  Remember feeling like I didn’t have to hide.



Stark1:  …….I’m sorry.  I don’t understand.



Hawkeye58:  Like……like I could talk to you.  And you’d get my humor.  And I just…..I liked spending time with you.  I wanted to spend more time with you.



Stark1:  ……heh.  I like that.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah……so it makes sense?



Stark1:  Yea.  It does.


Hawkeye58:  Oh good.  Ha.  Cuz it didn’t to me at the time.



Stark1:  Haha!  Yea?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  I was pretty sure there was something wrong with me.  Or something.  I was at a loss.  I didn’t know what the hell was going on…..heh.  Sorry if I was really weird that week following.



Stark1:  I noticed you seemed off, but I had no idea why.  I WAS a little concerned, to be honest.  I already liked you.  Like….a lot.  Thought maybe you were acting like that cuz you felt just the opposite.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  No.  Definitely not the opposite.  Just got myself nervous getting close to someone else.



Stark1:  Heh.  That…..that definitely makes those memories even better.  Knowing that.



Hawkeye58:  Oh, good.  Sorry.  I didn’t mean…..well, at the time I guess I DID mean to try and push you away.  But I didn’t at the same time.



Stark1:  Yea.  It’s okay.  Like I said before….I’m needy, and you’re one of the only people I ever really….well….needed.  I didn’t like it.  Didn’t like needing you and not having you.  So I got pushy.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Spoiled.



Stark1:  Haha yea, well…..there’s a difference between being spoiled with things and being spoiled with love.  I’ve had enough things.



Hawkeye58:  Doing my best with that other one.



Stark1:  You’re doing GREAT with the other one.



Hawkeye58:  Oh good.  Heh.  Good.



Stark1:  Ha.  Did you seriously worry about that?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah, actually.



Stark1:  …………are you serious?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  I……didn’t know.  Okay shut up.  I thought I was doing okay.



Stark1:  You’re an idiot.  You’re doing great.



Hawkeye58:  Thanks.  Good.



Stark1:  Hahaha.  Seriously.



Hawkeye58:  Shut up.  I can’t help it.  This isn’t my area of expertise.



Stark1:  Well, you don’t have to worry.  You make me so fucking happy.  I don’t know how you can’t see that.



Hawkeye58:  …….think I should get my eyes checked?



Stark1:  HA!  I think they’re just fine.  And damn pretty.  Think it’s something wrong with your brain.



Hawkeye58:  Ha!  Yeah probably.  Lots wrong with that 😛



Stark1:  Haha you don’t need to tell me.



Hawkeye58:   Haha!  Shut the hell up.



Stark1:  No.  I’m brilliant.  I’m allowed to assess other people’s brain abnormalities.



Hawkeye58:  Oh really?  You think?



Stark1:  Nope.  I know.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  So what does this brilliance say about mine, then?



Stark1:  Mm…….dunno.  Gotta come lay down on my couch for the full examination.



Hawkeye58:  Oh yeah?  …………which couch?



Stark1:  Hmm…..there ARE a lot, aren’t there.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  It’s almost ridiculous.



Stark1:  HAHA hey!



Hawkeye58:  Well, it’s true.  There’s so damn many.  What, do you cycle through them?



Stark1:  ……………………..I like couches.



Hawkeye58:  So I’ve noticed.



Stark1:  ……shut up.  It’s kinda nice to have in a big house.  Makes it feel not quite so empty.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  That makes sense.



Stark1:  Yea?  Yea.  Good.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Well.  I like them, too.



Stark1:  Good.  Then what the hell are you complaining about?  Jerkface.



Hawkeye58:  I wasn’t!  I was just asking which one would be the one I’m supposed to use for you to do your analysis.



Stark1:  ……….um……..any?  Though when YOU say it, it sounds even kinkier than intended.



Hawkeye58:  HAHA totally didn’t mean it to



Stark1:  Haha well, I guess we differ, then.



Hawkeye58:  Oh?  Why?  You want it to be kinky?  Cuz I’m sure I can work with that



Stark1:  Hahaha I just thought it kinda sounded it.  But…..yea.  This is…..ah….sounding real good.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Heh.  Could be fun, right?



Stark1:  “Could be”?  I think it definitely would be.  Fuck.  When’re you coming home?  I want you on my couch.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  Soon.  I’m not too far, actually.  Decide which couch?



Stark1:  ………any.  All.



Hawkeye58:   Oh?  ALL, huh?



Stark1:  ……….yea.  All.



Hawkeye58:  I like the sound of that.



Stark1:  ………..oh?  Really?  I mean…….really?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Yeah, really.  Heh.  Don’t exactly know what to expect, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out.



Stark1:  Heh.  Damn.  You on all my couches.

…………get your ass over here.  I wanna get going on these examinations.  Maybe get in your lap.  Ride you hard.



Hawkeye58:  Oh.  Oh that sounds wonderful.



Stark1:  Yea?  I thought so.



Hawkeye58:  Mnn.  Can’t wait.



Stark1:  Yea?  Good.  Me neither.  Want you.



Hawkeye58:  Gonna have me.



Stark1:  Yea?  Heh.  Think it’s more like you’re gonna have me.  Think we got those positions switched up.  😛



Hawkeye58:   Mnn.  You can have me while I’m having you.  Property of Tony Stark, remember?  Or did we just say Stark?  Don’t remember the exact wording.



Stark1:  …………that just brought to mind the most interesting mental image.  And we’re gonna go with Tony Stark.  There’s a lot of people on the board at Stark Industries.  Don’t want any of them trying to lay claim to you.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  Like I’d let them.  But yeah.  Go with Tony Stark.

…..and what interesting mental image?



Stark1:  …….well, to have someone during sex usually implies to be fucking them.  So if you say have each other…..I just see two people fucking each other simultaneously……which wouldn’t work, but it’s pretty interesting trying to work out the mechanics.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  Yeah.  That’d require flexibility I don’t think either of us has.



Stark1:  HA!  You think?



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  So.  Which couch you want to start with?



Stark1:  Hmm.  Not sure.



Hawkeye58:  Well.  Choose soon.  Almost home.



Stark1:  You don’t have any preference?



Hawkeye58:  Not if we’re going to play on all of them anyway.



Stark1:  “Play”, is it?  You got some tricks up your sleeve?



Hawkeye58:  Don’t I always?



Stark1:  Ha!  Sneaky fucker.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha so I’ve been told.



Stark1:  Yup.  Often, I’d think.  Now hurry your ass up.  I want you.  Wanna spread my legs for you on every couch in this house.



Hawkeye58:  Fuck.  Yes.  Here.  I’m here.  Just.  Where.  What room?



Stark1:  What room do you think?  The one with eight million couches.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Well.  A few of our rooms have more than one.  But yeah.  That one.  Headed there.



Stark1:  Good.  Picked out a couch.  I’m waiting.



Hawkeye58:  I love you.  Heh…..still gonna try to figure me out?  Or you think I’ll be able to fuck you into forgetting?



Stark1:  ………….FUCK.  Fuck.  Uh well I think I’d REALLY like it if you try for the latter.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Like I have to try.



Stark1:  HAHA hey!



Hawkeye58:  Hey yourself.  I’m good at what I do.



Stark1:  Me too.  And I think I can take a good fucking and analyze you at the same time.  Though I don’t think I need to.  I’d like to think I know you pretty well.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  Hey.  You’re the one that came up with it in the first place.  Can’t wait to see you.  Claim you again, and again.



Stark1:  …….fuck.  Motherfucker.  Yea.  Gonna do it, too.  Analyze you.  Just saying….yea.  Don’t know what I’m saying.  Want you.  Get up here and fuck me, dammit.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  At the door.  Don’t move, kay?  You just keep doing what you’re doing.  See you in a sec.







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Leave a comment


  1. paisley15

     /  December 21, 2012

    Oooohh, I can’t wait for the next chapter!

    Clint’s never had Christmas! That’s so sad.

    And I love their awkward fluffy moment. Fantastic job, as usual.

  2. Caro

     /  December 21, 2012

    Great story, but I don’t expect anything else when it comes to you 😉
    Not really a Christmas story but still pretty cute. Like… really cute. I love it when they’re cheesy. It’s adorable.
    Can’t wait for the next chapter 🙂
    And because I won’t be around for the next week: Merry Christmas 😀 Hope you have wonderful holiday with you family and friends.

    • Lol well, that’s the first chapter. As I said in the synopsis, it takes place months prior to Christmas. Hang around for chapter 2 and you’ll get some Christmas.

      Merry Christmas to you, too!

  3. I thought this was very funny! Great job! Can’t wait to read more!

  4. Backlash

     /  December 22, 2012

    Friggen awesome x3 Can’t wait for the next chapter~!

    Mmm, all the couches… that’ll take a while, eh? XD

    • Oh yes. Tony has a slight couch obsession. I wish I could draw the room I picture that they watched the movie in in ‘Stark with a Drink’, because yea……in my mind, for some reason, he just loves couches, and that room is pretty wonderful.

  5. KattyRosie

     /  December 22, 2012

    I loved it!!! Feels over Christmas and then leadup to smut, a perfect combination! 😀

  6. fuzzyelf

     /  December 22, 2012

    I hope everyone had a happy winter solstice! I really liked this chapter, it was cute. I also like the continued looks on how Tony “courted” Clint. It is cute and a Tony “I want that so I’m going to get it” way. I can’t wait to see what other traditions they come up with. (and read about all the stuff they do on the couches. HAHAHA 😉 )

  7. sabrina

     /  December 23, 2012

    so is this goat thing a real thing or just part of the story? anyways, loved this chapter, Coulson taking away his bow is hilarious…attacking the junior agents is even funnier! can’t wait to read part 2!

  8. The Yule Goat is a real thing. It’s an old tradition that’s gone through a lot of changes over the years but it is still found in some European countries. There’s a giant one constructed in Sweden every year.

  9. Tabby

     /  January 1, 2013

    Oh, how we love you, your stories, and Clint and Tony being in cute love together. It’s super cute!


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