Clint doesn’t often get a chance to show off his skills. When an opportunity arises, Tony’s definitely going to be there to watch.
Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton. First chapter text format, second chapter story format.
Hawkeye58: Tony. Hey Tony. Guess what.
Stark1: Ha! We sound awfully excited today. Okay, I’ll bite. What.
Hawkeye58: Coulson’s letting me compete in a shooting match! Granted it’s only amongst people with high military clearance but still. He never lets me compete.
Stark1: Oh man that’s awesome! When is it? I wanna come see!
Hawkeye58: Tomorrow. Ha. Haven’t competed in a long time.
Stark1: Ha. Like that’ll matter. You’ll still win. I’m so coming to watch. Where are you?
Hawkeye58: Right now on that base in New Mexico. But we’re supposed to head back to the carrier within the hour.
Stark1: Well, where’s the competition taking place?
Hawkeye58: Not sure yet. Coulson just said “field to be determined”.
Stark1: …….jerk. Well. I’ll figure it out.
Hawkeye58: Heh. I don’t think he knows yet. You know, this is all because some dick on the Council’s payroll made a comment about Coulson’s abilities as a handler. Dumb shit.
Stark1: Ha! So he decides to let you loose? THAT’S Coulson’s solution?
Hawkeye58: I can be very cooperative when it’s screwing up someone else’s day. And this guy was acting like I was just some run of the mill grunt. I and my awesomeness take offense to that.
Stark1: ………..and apparently Coulson, too. He better keep his hands off. Cuz I in no way can hold up against him if I have to fight him for you.
Hawkeye58: Ha! Tony. I really don’t think you have to worry about that with Coulson. Told you. I’m the disappointment of a son he never had. 😛
Stark1: …………..better be.
Hawkeye58: Stop being stupid. Of course it is.
Stark1: Hey! Not stupid. Why wouldn’t he want you?
Hawkeye58: Because I’m obnoxious. And he’s…….Coulson.
Hawkeye58: And…..I don’t know. I mean. It’s never been an issue.
Stark1: ………………..somehow this isn’t reassuring me at all.
Hawkeye58: ……I don’t know why you think it’s an issue? Like seriously. Why are you suddenly worried?
Stark1: …..I don’t know. Not WORRIED. But he’s with you an awful lot.
Hawkeye58: Well, yeah. He’s my handler. Takes care of all the paperwork and detail stuff so I can just do my job. I guess we’re close but it’s not like, romantic close.
Stark1: Yea I know. Guess I can just see how it’d be easy for him to get attached. And I’d have no excuse to get rid of him.
Hawkeye58: Hey. You really don’t have to worry. You’re top of my favorite person list.
Stark1: I BETTER be. Something’s seriously wrong if I’m not.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Quit worrying.
Stark1: Shut up.
Hawkeye58: Nope. Can’t make me.
…….I wonder who else is gonna compete. Wonder if I know em.
Stark1: Still gonna win. And I have various ways of making you shut up.
Hawkeye58: Well, YEAH I’m gonna win. And I don’t have to make it easy for you.
Stark1: Ha. Like you ever do.
Hawkeye58: It just wouldn’t be as fun.
Stark1: Ha. Ass.
Does this mean when you win, I get to award you with a prize and a kiss, all Robin Hood/Maid Marian like?
Hawkeye58: Heh. I wouldn’t object to that. Tch. Though I don’t think anyone else is gonna use a bow. Which means I don’t get to split the competitor’s arrow all bad-ass like.
Stark1: Haha aww. Poor baby. You can split your own arrows.
Hawkeye58: Totally not the same. But I can do that. Can probably see if I can hit the target right in the bullet holes the other guys make, too.
Stark1: Hey, it still shows that you can do it, even if you don’t get the added smug satisfaction of destroying someone else’s arrows.
Hawkeye58: Yeah, that’s true. And hey. I’m gonna show em up with the guns, too. This is gonna be great.
Stark1: Heh. I can’t wait to watch.
Hawkeye58: Ha. I’m actually really excited. I mean. I’m used to showing off. Used to be my job. But I never really had anyone special I wanted to impress.
Stark1: Ha. Now you got all these agents and councilmen.
Hawkeye58: Fuck them. I meant you.
Stark1: What? Me?
Hawkeye58: Yeah you. I don’t care about anyone else. I’m just doing it to prove a point. You…..you I wanna show off for. I KNOW it’s childish. But I do.
Stark1: ….that……..wow. No. Not childish. I mean. I don’t know. Maybe it is. But I like it.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Oh man, good. Cuz yeah. Don’t know if I could curb myself.
Stark1: What……this is like……it’s not just this competition? You do it in general?
Hawkeye58: Uh…..yeah. Little bit.
Stark1: ……………………I can’t begin to say how ridiculously special that makes me feel.
Hawkeye58: Well. You are. And it’s true. Half the time I don’t even think about it. I just do it. Internal dialogue being all dorkish. “Is he looking? Did he see that?”
………I’m embarrassed for myself.
Stark1: ………………….okay, where the fuck are you.
Hawkeye58: On the helicarrier. We were out over the Atlantic. Think we’re just hovering here.
Stark1: I’m on my way.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Really? Awesome. I miss you.
Stark1: Fuck. You’re making me so damn happy.
Hawkeye58: Good. Because I like making you happy.
Stark1: I know. And you do a damn good job.
Hawkeye58: Damn right I do. I take that job super seriously.
Stark1: Haha oh yea?
Stark1: Heh. Even more reason for me to feel special.
Hawkeye58: Glad I can help in that way too, then.
Stark1: You help me in lots of ways.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? I do like being helpful. Most times.
Stark1: HA! Yea. Most times.
Hawkeye58: Haha. You love me even when I’m not helpful.
Stark1: I always love you.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. And it’s amazing. I can’t even tell you. Cept I just did.
Stark1: Wait, what’s amazing?
Hawkeye58: That you always love me.
Stark1: Idiot. Of course I do.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I love that. Love you.
Stark1: …….all the time?
Hawkeye58: Course all the time.
Stark1: Heh. Awesome.
Hawkeye58: Damn right it is.
Stark1: Haha God I love you. Ass.
Hawkeye58: Ha! Yup. That’s me.
Stark1: Heh. Can’t wait to see you.
Hawkeye58: Good. Can’t wait to see you, either. Hey. We should go to the range later. I wanna put some time in. You can shoot stuff, too. It’ll be fun.
Stark1: Shit. Really?
Hawkeye58: What? Yeah. Unless you don’t want to?
Stark1: Fuck yea I want to!
Hawkeye58: Oh, good. I was actually kinda sad thinking you didn’t want to.
Stark1: Hahaha you kidding me? You know how much I love watching you. Idiot. And…..ah. Was thinking…
Hawkeye58: Oh? Thinking what?
Stark1: Well…….not today obviously cuz you’ve got to practice, but. Was thinking maybe sometime…..maybe you could teach me a little?
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Really? Not too archaic for a revolutionary engineer like you?
Haha. But. Seriously? Cuz I’d really like that.
Stark1: Hey. Not if you’re gonna make fun of me.
Hawkeye58: Hey. You make fun of me all the time.
Stark1: Shut up. I just. Thought it would be cool. Forget it.
Hawkeye58: Hey, hey. I was kidding. Well, about the first part. I DO wanna show you. I would really like to. Come on.
Stark1: Yea? Even though I’m too much of a science geek to properly understand it?
Hawkeye58: Hey. I never said that.
Stark1: Yea you did. Jerkface.
Hawkeye58: No I didn’t! I didn’t mean it that way, anyway. I meant……nevermind, it’s not important. I was only kidding, anyway.
Stark1: Hey, I know you are. And I know there’s not a chance in hell I’ll ever have one iota of your skill. But I’d like to try it. See what it’s like that you do.
Hawkeye58: Hey. You never know. I knew a few other people with my skill. You could be another.
Stark1: HA! Yea right. On both counts.
Hawkeye58: Hey. It’s true.
…….takes a shit ton of practice, though.
Stark1: Well……..if you’re saying someone else is that good, I’m guessing it must be true. You wouldn’t normally qualify anyone else as even close to your equal, you cocky fuck. But you definitely don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be leaving the sexy shooting to you.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Yeah. I don’t like to admit it. I still stand by that I remain more awesome. And in any case, I have you. Which is something those other few never will.
Stark1: Ha! Yea. Got that right. No one else.
Heh. Lots of practice. I barely leave the lab to EAT. How the fuck would you get me out of there to practice?
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. Good point. Just saying. It’s possible.
Stark1: Hahaha I’m actually sorta touched you think I could be competent at this.
Hawkeye58: Hey. You learn stuff quick. Never know. This could be something you’re good at.
Stark1: ……you’re seriously just blowing my mind with how happy you’re making me today.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Hey. Just saying.
Stark1: Yea I know. Which is what makes it so great. You don’t just say shit to try and make me feel good. You’re honest with me. So I know you mean it.
Hawkeye58: Well, yeah. Heh. Told you. Was gonna be as honest as possible with you.
Stark1: I know. And I love it. Love YOU. So much.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Gonna manage to make me blush and that just won’t do when I’m trying to show off to all these people.
Stark1: Ha! But it’s true. You’re the most important thing in the world to me.
Hawkeye58: Fuck……great. Now I’m getting weird looks.…How the hell do you have that ability? TOTALLY not fair.
Stark1: Oh my God. I did it? Haha! And YOU always say it’s impossible.
Hawkeye58: Because it USUALLY IS. You’re a terrible influence and destroying years of training. You bastard.
Stark1: Hahahahahahahahaha love it. Gonna see it in a minute.
Hawkeye58: Well it’s not gonna last that long……stupid traitor body.
Stark1: Hahaha yea right. I’m on my way in. Sides….I’ll just make you do it again.
Hawkeye58: ……..shut the hell up.
Stark1: HA! Oh my God I love you so fucking much.
Hawkeye58: You’re an evil bastard.
Stark1: Yup. And you love me.
Hawkeye58: Yeah I fucking do.
Stark1: Ooh…..that was enthusiastic.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Shut up.
Stark1: Will not. It was. I liked it.
Hawkeye58: Well………so did I. I’m very enthusiastic when it concerns you.
Stark1: Ha! Oh? I seem to notice it in some areas more than others……..
Hawkeye58: The show of my enthusiasm is ever changing.
Stark1: Haha yup. Well…….think I’m coming up on you now. Let’s see how enthusiastic a greeting I get.
Hawkeye58: Depends. How much do you want to confuse, frighten, or turn-on the other agents currently around?
Stark1: …….turn-on? I like the sound of that. And let’s go with a lot.
Hawkeye58: Heh, challenge accepted. You get to deal with any consequences, though.
Stark1: Oh, I am MORE than fine with that.
Hawkeye58: Good. Then get ready for an enthusiastic hello.
Stark1: Heh. Fuck. Awesome.