Tony’s whining always leads to interesting places…..some bad, some good, and sometimes a little surprising.
Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton, first chapter text format, second chapter story format.
A/N: Aaaaaand yes, another first chapter. Because there are WAY too many on my computer. So yea. Enjoy.^^
Stark1: Clint,I’m boooooooooooored. Come see me.
Hawkeye58: Sorry. Promised I’d finish up this paperwork. It’ll be a while still.
Stark1: Fine. Be that way. Me and Bruce will go do naked things in the lab.
Hawkeye58: ……better not.
Stark1: Humph. See if I don’t.
Stark1: Yea, you make angry faces all you want.
Stark1: …….”meh”? THAT’S a new one for you.
Hawkeye58: I couldn’t think of an appropriate word to express my displeasure.
Stark1: Ha! So “meh” does it for you?
Hawkeye58: That’s what came out, yeah.
Stark1: Ha. You’re such a weirdo.
Hawkeye58: Haha that’s me. No naked Bruce.
Stark1: …..what if it’s too late?
Hawkeye58: …..what do you mean by “what if it’s too late”?
Stark1: What if nakedness is already happening?
Hawkeye58: it BETTER not be happening.
Stark1: Heh. And if it is?
Hawkeye58: …..no one will go home happy.
Stark1: Hahaha. Well, maybe if you just came and gave me the attention I wanted, I wouldn’t resort to naked science.
Hawkeye58: Shouldn’t resort to naked science ANYWAY. Ass.
Stark1: Hey, you LOVE my naked science. It makes you all hot and bothered.
Hawkeye58: Not when other people are involved.
Stark1: No one else ever has been.
Hawkeye58: Good. That’s special time for me.
Stark1: Haha what…..naked science time?
Stark1: Ha. You’ve only had it once.
Hawkeye58: Doesn’t matter. It’s for me.
Stark1: Yea. Just you.
…..so…..Bruce isn’t there, then?
Stark1: Ha. No. Moron.
……you really doing naked science?
Hawkeye58: Is that a yes?
Stark1: …..mm……I don’t know……..IS it?
Hawkeye58: Heh. You trying to get a rise outta me?
Stark1: Heh. Well, I think it’ll get a rise out of you either way, so why try? But I’ll say this, I think I make a very pretty picture right now.
Hawkeye58: You always make a pretty picture. I wanna see you.
Stark1: So come see me. Or are you just being a tease and you’re actually stuck somewhere?
Hawkeye58: Nah. I’m just about free now. Hoped to make seeing you happen.
Stark1: Oh? Was this before or after I mentioned the naked science?
Hawkeye58: Ha. Before. But naked science was definitely a second motivator.
Stark1: Haha it cracks me up how much you like that. Was that always a thing for you?
Hawkeye58: Nah. I mean. Science I thought was pretty cool. Robotics and what not. But I never thought of it as sexy. But you turn a lot of things sexy……I think that may actually be your true super power, by the way.
Stark1:………………….oh my God. That…………………………wow. That’s. Awesome.
…..tell anyone and I deny I said it. But….it’s true.
Stark1: Heh. Wow. Awesome.
Hawkeye58: Yup. Awesome.
……don’t let it go to your head, now.
Stark1: I most certainly will. Not only do I apparently have the power of Sexy, but I was told so by Clint Barton. That qualifies as a compliment. Clint Barton compliments are like unicorns. Very rare things.
Hawkeye58: HAHAHAHA oh man. Ha. Killing me.
Stark1: Haha its true.
Hawkeye58: Heh unicorn-rare, huh?
Stark1: Yup. Totally.
Hawkeye58: Don’t unicorns only appear to virgins or something?
Stark1: HAHA funny man
Hawkeye58: You know it
Stark1: Well, if that’s the case, we couldn’t associate them with you, either. Cept for your ass cherry. That was alllllll mine.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. Yeah, suppose that’s true. Killed the compliment unicorn.
Stark1: Hahaha. Nah, it’s still running around. Just showed up, didn’t it?
Hawkeye58: Haha the compliment unicorn clings to life.
Stark1: Maybe BECAUSE it was me. So I still get compliments. The compliment unicorn likes me.
Hawkeye58: Haha. You saved it. God, that is one screwed up unicorn.
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHA I saved it with gay sex?
Hawkeye58: See? Seriously fucked up unicorn.
Stark1: Well, I saved it from all those other women. It gets me instead. And I’m way better.
Hawkeye58: Well, it does seem to like you.
Stark1: …………oh? “It”? How about you?
Hawkeye58: Mnn. I guess I think you’re okay.
Stark1: ………….wow. Okay, you know, I think I WILL invite Bruce to my naked science party.
Hawkeye58: You will not
Stark1: Got his number on speed dial. How much you wanna bet that I don’t?
Hawkeye58: I don’t want to bet. I don’t want you calling him right now
Hawkeye58: YEAH fucking yea. What the hell. Bruce isn’t allowed to naked science.
Stark1: ……I’m pretty sure Bruce can naked whatever he wants.
Hawkeye58: Not with you.
Stark1: Didn’t SAY with me. Geez.
Hawkeye58: You said you were gonna call him!
Stark1: Yea. But I didn’t say he could do naked ANYTHING with me.
Hawkeye58: If you invited him and you were naked then he’d be seeing you naked.
Stark1: …..yea. And that’d be naked SCIENCE, not naked ANYTHING.
Hawkeye58: Still NAKED.
Stark1: ……yea? And? Maybe at least someone would appreciate it.
Hawkeye58: Tony you know damn well I was kidding before. I appreciate you more than anyone else does.
Stark1: Yea. But the fact that sometimes I need to threaten to strip for someone else before you’ll admit to it is just a BIT frustrating. Just a bit.
Hawkeye58: I thought it was pretty obvious. I thought I was doing pretty damn well telling you so.
Stark1: Yea. You’ve gotten a lot better.
I…..sorry. I guess I just still haven’t gotten over when you used to hide it. And like you say, I’m needy in general. So I guess I just can’t help pushing back.
Hawkeye58: ……I don’t know if I can ever be as open as you might want, Tony.
Stark1: ……I’m sorry.
Hawkeye58: No. No it’s not…. That’s not your fault….you’re not really asking anything that shouldn’t be normal. I just….I don’t know…..
Stark1: No. I am. I know you. I knew from the start how you are. I hoped you would open up and you have, but I shouldn’t have pushed you for so much.
Hawkeye58: I just. I don’t want you unhappy. I really don’t. I don’t want to hurt you and I’m not so sure I know how not to. You’re important. I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t want to keep you lacking something I don’t know if I can give.
Stark1: You’re not going to lose me. I don’t care if anything happens, if I ever feel like something’s missing, I still want you. You’re not fucking leaving me. You understand?
Hawkeye58: Yeah…..yeah okay. Understood.
Stark1: Good. Fuck. You leave…..fuck. I can’t. I just can’t, okay?
Hawkeye58: Okay. I won’t……never said I would. I don’t plan to. I’m sorry.
You know, before you, I just drank, and gambled, and fucked random strangers, and took even worse care of myself than I do now. Because I just didn’t CARE. You MAKE me care. I just……I’m too needy. I won’t be. Okay? I’m going to try. I’ll try REALLY hard. I won’t push you so much. Okay?
Hawkeye58: Okay…..just. I mean. I know you’re needy. Heh. I kind of expected a whole lot of whining and pestering when this whole thing began, I just…..I’m not. I wasn’t prepared. And I’m no good with words but I can SHOW you I think. Pretty damn well. How much you mean…..so. If you think it’s getting bad. And I’m not doing good enough. Give me a chance to show you, okay?
Stark1: Yeah. Yeah. I……can you? I wanna see you. Need to see you.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Of course. I’m on my way.
Stark1: Thanks. I…..thanks.
…..sorry. Heh. I really am a needy bastard.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Yeah, you are. But I love you.
Stark1: ……even though I’m needy? I mean…..you said you weren’t prepared. Is it bad? Should I try and stop?
Hawkeye58: No. No, don’t stop. I’d rather know…..if I don’t know, I won’t think of it and that’d be worse.
Stark1: ……okay. Okay. Good. Cuz it’d be hard to change. I’ve always been needy. But you’re the first PERSON I’ve really ever needed. So yea……it’d be really hard to change.
Hawkeye58: Yeah, well, don’t change. Just ah. Be aware. Not that I freak out. Cuz I don’t freak out. But if I do…..maybe back off a bit. Until I figure out how to do what I’m supposed to?
Stark1: …but I don’t want to freak you out.
Hawkeye58: Shut up. I just said I don’t freak out. I’m fine. Nevermind. You don’t have to worry because I don’t freak out.
Stark1: ………..yea. You do. Everyone does. So don’t tell me “nevermind” cuz I won’t, or not to worry, cuz I will. I wanna keep you happy.
Hawkeye58: I AM happy.
Stark1: …..you don’t seem it. Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna shut up.
Hawkeye58: Like THAT’S gonna last. 😛
Stark1: Hey! Haha asshole. I was GOING to make a valiant effort, but your sarcasm makes me not wanna bother.
……I don’t want you tip toeing around me, Tony…..it makes me feel weird and I don’t like it. I mean, if the mood strikes, fine. But…..no kid gloves.
That make sense? I feel like I stopped making sense.
Stark1: …..no, that makes sense. And…..good. I mean…..thanks. I just don’t wanna hurt you. Lose you. And sometimes I worry maybe my personality is too much. But…..I guess…..just let me know……..and thanks.
Hawkeye58: You’re not gonna hurt me. Only way to do that is by leaving and you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t intend on doing that so whatever else you’ve got, I can take. Gladly.
Stark1: Never gonna leave you. Can’t. Won’t. I’m yours, remember?
Hawkeye58: Heh. Yeah. I’ve got mad dibs on you now.
Stark1: Yea you do. I’ll tattoo it on my ass. “Property of Clint Barton”.
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. Hilarious as that is, I’d prefer your pretty ass remain unmarred.
Stark1: Oh? “Pretty ass”, huh?
Hawkeye58: Well. I think so.
Stark1: Heh. “Pretty”.
Hawkeye58: …….shut the hell up. It is.
Stark1: No, I like it. Never heard that one before.
Hawkeye58: What. That you have a pretty ass? What about hot? It’s that, too.
Stark1: Yea, that one I’m more used to. And things involving expletives, usually said in bed.
Hawkeye58: Haha. I’m good at those, too. But yeah….pretty. You can….I mean. I think you’re damn gorgeous. So. Yeah.
Stark1: …………..you. Wow. Why aren’t you here yet? I wanna kiss you.
Hawkeye58: Almost there. Couple blocks away.
Stark1: Good. Good.
I love you so much. You know that, right?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. You don’t let me forget. I love you too.
Stark1: Good. Don’t ever want you to forget.
…..what do you wanna do when you get here?
Hawkeye58: Just…..just hold you. Is that cheesy? All I wanna do right now, though.
Stark1: ………….that sounds absolutely fucking PERFECT.
Hawkeye58: Oh, good. Glad we’re on the same page. Heh. Hey. I can see our house from here.
Stark1: …….I still love hearing you say that.
Hawkeye58: What. Our house? Heh…..is a very very fine house.
……hey. We should get cats.
Stark1: HAHAHAHAHAHA oh my God I’m gonna die
Hawkeye58: Haha. What. Cats are neat. And it’s a good song.
Stark1: ………wait…..what’s a good song?
Hawkeye58: That song “Our House”. Ever heard it? Had to have. I never cared for it until recently.
Stark1: …….I don’t know. I can’t picture it. But seriously. Two men, living together, with cats? Do you not see how ridiculously and epically gay that is?
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. Yeah. True.
Stark1: Heh. Awesome.
So…..we’re getting cats.
Hawkeye58: Haha what? Really?
Stark1: Haha hey, you wanted them! What, change your mind?
Hawkeye58: …..no. I like cats. They’re pretty self-sufficient and I like their attitude. Just. I’m never home. Never really thought of having pets of any kind.
Stark1: Well, you thought of it. And I’ll be home. I can watch them. And then when you return I can be all “look guys! Daddy’s home!” and they’ll get all excited.
……or is that dogs? Dogs get excited to see you. Cats don’t give a shit.
…..well, OUR cats will.
Hawkeye58: Oh they will, will they?
Stark1: Yup. They’ll get SUPER excited.
Hawkeye58: Haha…..that. That’d be kind of neat. Okay. I’m for that idea.
Stark1: Yea? Really? Heh. Neat. And don’t worry, when you’re not home I’ll have Jarvis remind me to get my ass out of the lab. “Sir, Muffins needs to be fed.”
Hawkeye58: HAHAHA. Good. Because I may have to kick your ass if you fail to feed yourself AND the cats.
Stark1: Hey, I will NOT neglect Muffins. Or his brother. Sister?
Hawkeye58: Either or. Heh. Muffins, huh?
Stark1: Hey, one of them is going to be a boy named Muffins. Do not fight me on this, you will not win.
Hawkeye58: HA! Fine. Fine. Muffins it is. Heh. Well, I’m just about home. We can discuss this further in a minute.
Stark1: Good. Get inside, I wanna feel your arms around me.
Hawkeye58: Well, I want to feel you in them. Where are you? Lab still?
Stark1: No. Upstairs. Waiting for you.
Hawkeye58: God I love you.
Stark1: Ha why? Cuz I’m waiting for you?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. That’s exactly it.
Stark1: Heh. Cute.
Hawkeye58: Shut up. Stop ruining the moment.
Stark1: Ha sorry. Um. Forewarning. Still mostly naked.
Hawkeye58: Ha. What are you, a closet nudist?
Stark1: HAHAHA hey! I was in the lab, I thought you were coming over to enjoy some naked science, then I just never got around to getting dressed again. So shut your face.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Fine, fine. Guess that’s partially my bad.
Stark1: Yea. Ass. Geez. Didn’t know my naked body was such a problem for you.
Hawkeye58: Never said it was a problem. I am very fond of it. Gonna hold it in a minute.
Stark1: Mm. Good. Get on in here, then.
Hawkeye58: Of course. Coming, dearest.
Stark1: HA! Love it.