Pajama Party: Chapter 1

This comes after ‘Shooting Bruce’ but before ‘Caffeinated Cohabitation’ and ‘Nesting Instincts’.  Sorry.  I try to post these in order but there’s so many that it doesn’t always work.

Tony has a goofy idea.  It ends up leading to trouble.

Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton, first chapter in text format, second chapter in story format.


Stark1:  Hey Clint.  You got any fun pajamas?



Hawkeye58:  …..maybe?



Stark1:  Ha!  How is it “maybe”?  You either do or you don’t.



Hawkeye58:  ….yeah.  I guess I might own some fun ones.



Stark1:  Haha yea?  Awesome.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Well, I don’t wear them often.  Usually just fall asleep in whatever I’m wearing at the time.



Stark1:  Aww.  I was hoping you’d say naked.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Only when it’s really fucking hot out.  And even then, I like pants.  Never know when you might have to just get up and run.  Or fight or something.



Stark1:  Well, I think we need to have a pajama party.



Hawkeye58:  Oh, do you?



Stark1:  Yea, I’m pretty positive about it.  Only Tasha better not wear some damn skimpy negligee.  I don’t want you ogling her tits.



Hawkeye58:  But they’re so nice.



Stark1:  ……….I hate you.



Hawkeye58:  You do not.  You think I’m awesome.



Stark1:  Yea, well, you gave up tits when you chose me.



Hawkeye58:  Aww, really?  I can’t even LOOK?  That’s harsh.



Stark1:  ……..I seriously hate you.



Hawkeye58:  No, you don’t.  You love me and think I’m awesome.



Stark1:  Not when you wanna look at tits.  That is so not cool.



Hawkeye58:  Oh, come on.  I like looking at you more.



Stark1:  Tch.  Right.  You’re too busy eyeing Tasha’s ass in all that leather.



Hawkeye58:  Like you’ve never looked.  But honestly, I’ve worked with her so long.  Kinda used to the leather.  It’s nice, but nothing I haven’t seen.



Stark1:  Yea, right.  And I prefer women who aren’t the face of evil?



Hawkeye58:  Oh.  Ouch.



Stark1:  What.



Hawkeye58:  The face of evil?  Really?  Just a little harsh.  We’ve seen lots more evil than Nat, I think.



Stark1:  Whatever.  It’s just an expression.  Sheesh.



Hawkeye58:  Hey, don’t be mad.  I’m kidding.



Stark1:  Are not.  You loooove your precious Tasha.



Hawkeye58:  Well, yeah.  But not like that.



Stark1:  Tch.



Hawkeye58:  Shut up.  You know it’s true.



Stark1:  Well, stop ogling her, then!



Hawkeye58:  Hey!  I usually don’t.



Stark1:  ………………….



Hawkeye58:  ….you love me.



Stark1:  ………you are an ass and a chore.



Hawkeye58:  I’m a fun chore.  With a nice ass.  😉



Stark1:  HAHA.  Nice.  You’re so fucking full of yourself.



Hawkeye58:   Well, yeah.  Because I’m so awesome.



Stark1:  Yea yea.  Keep it up with Tasha and her tits and she can have you, no matter HOW awesome you are.



Hawkeye58:  ……thought you were keeping me?



Stark1:  …………..I WANT to.  But…if you want something else..



Hawkeye58:  I DON’T want something else.  That’s just stupid.



Stark1:  Ah.  Okay.  Good.  I mean.  REALLY good.



Hawkeye58:  Well, yeah.  Geez.



Stark1:  Hey.  I don’t know.  Tasha’s attractive, and you guys are close, and you’ve known her a HELL of a lot longer than you’ve known me.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  But I told you.  We’re not like that.



Stark1:  Yea.  You did.



Hawkeye58:  And I meant it.  I wouldn’t lie about that.



Stark1:  I know.  I’m sorry.  Just.  Damn.  Jealous.  Fuck.  So stupid.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah, it is.  But I mean…..from you, I’m damn flattered.  But you don’t have to worry.



Stark1:  Ha.  That makes you feel flattered?



Hawkeye58:  Well, yeah.  I mean, since when do YOU get jealous?



Stark1:  …………..I don’t.  And I don’t like it much.  It’s not a nice feeling.



Hawkeye58:  No.  I wouldn’t think it is.



Stark1:  See.  That too.  YOU don’t get jealous.  That just makes it worse.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Well…..not so much I don’t.  I mean…..I don’t often.  And when I do, just…..trained not to show it.



Stark1:  Yea well it’s weird.  I hate this feeling.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah, well.  Hey.  I know I’m a dick.  And a bastard.  And yeah, I’ve been around.  But I’m not a cheater.  Least not when it comes to this.



Stark1:  I never called you a cheater!  I know you wouldn’t do that.  I just hate caring so fucking much.



Hawkeye58:  No.  I didn’t mean that.  I know you didn’t.  I just.  You shouldn’t be jealous.  I’m not going to leave.



Stark1:  I know.  I can’t help it.  And it’s fucking infuriating as hell.



Hawkeye58:  I’m sorry.  Kind of.  I’m still flattered.



Stark1:  Ha.  Pain in the ass.



Hawkeye58:  You know it.



Stark1:  Sheesh.  If only you were suffering too, I wouldn’t feel so bad.  Bastard.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  I’m sorry.  I really am.



Stark1:  Are not.



Hawkeye58:  I am.  I really don’t like that you’re this upset about it.  I just don’t know how to fix it.



Stark1:  Doesn’t matter.  Not like it’s going to kill me.



Hawkeye58:  Good…..don’t let it.  That’d be decidedly bad.



Stark1:  You think?



Hawkeye58:  Uh.  Yeah, I think.



Stark1:  Ha.  Don’t sound so certain.



Hawkeye58:  What.  That killing you would be bad?  I’m very certain.



Stark1:  Oh, good to know.



Hawkeye58:  You think I wouldn’t care if you died?



Stark1:  Ha I’m harassing you.  Idiot.



Hawkeye58:  ……..dick.



Stark1:  Haha look who’s talking.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah yeah.



Stark1:  Can Tasha at least stop wearing clothes that fit her ass so nicely?



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  It’s SHIELD issue.  They seem to be convinced that loose clothing is a liability.



Stark1:  Yea?  I don’t see anyone ELSE wearing clothes that tight.



Hawkeye58:  Maybe not as tight but pretty tight.



Stark1:  ……her clothes are ridiculously tight.  If she’s going to wear pants that tight because they’re “SHIELD issue”, then YOU should be wearing them that way, too.



Hawkeye58:  Mine are tight enough, I think.  I kind of have….more that will get in the way.



Stark1:  Mm.  Believe me, I’ve noticed.  Still, I think we could use some more tightness up in there.  Give some more emphasis to things that need to be emphasized.



Hawkeye58:  Oh.  You think, do you?



Stark1:  Yup.  I do.



Hawkeye58:  Somehow I don’t think R&D will see the importance of redesigning my uniform for that.



Stark1:  It’s ok.  I’ll handle it.  Fury won’t know a thing till he sees you in it.  And then he’ll pass out from an overload of hotness.



Hawkeye58:  …….okay.  If you say so.



Stark1:  Ha.  I’m counting that as permission.  If I turn up with crazy tight pants for you, you’re no longer allowed to turn them down.



Hawkeye58:  Seriously?  Wait.  You’re being serious?



Stark1:  ………..maybe….?



Hawkeye58:  ……I really think my uniform is fine as is.  Thought you liked my uniform.



Stark1:  But I’m having so much fun harassing you right now.



Hawkeye58:  Of course you are.  Because you’re an ass.



Stark1:  Yup.



Hawkeye58:  ……you’re……I can’t think of the word.  But you’re it.



Stark1:  ………..since YOU don’t even know what you’re saying, I’m just going to choose to think of it as a compliment.



Hawkeye58:  You think of most things as compliments.



Stark1:  Pfft not when they’re coming from YOU.  You’re damned hard to get compliments from.



Hawkeye58:  I give compliments all the time…..under layers of sarcasm and insults.



Stark1:  Tch if you say so.



Hawkeye58:  Well, I do.



Stark1:  Mmhm.



Hawkeye58:  Being dramatic again.



Stark1:  Am not.  “Mmhm” is an agreement.



Hawkeye58:  Is it?  Because you use it to not quite agree, too.



Stark1:  Mm….well, I guess you’ll just have to figure that one out.



Hawkeye58:  It’s really difficult when I’m not actually hearing it.



Stark1:  Ha.  Too bad.



Hawkeye58:  You suck.



Stark1:  Yup.  And you love it.



Hawkeye58:  Won’t deny it.



Stark1:  Hn.  I’ll file that away.



Hawkeye58:   What?  Why?



Stark1:  No reason.  Just like to keep track of these things.



Hawkeye58:  What.  Got a file on me?



Stark1:  Oh, definitely.  A nice big one.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  That much….ah.  Just from when you met me or…..other stuff too?



Stark1:  …….would it matter?



Hawkeye58:  No.  I guess not.  Just……lotta shit in those files.



Stark1:  Yea?  You worried I’m looking at stuff I’m not supposed to see?



Hawkeye58:  Well……I mean….more stuff I might rather you didn’t.



Stark1:  Heh.  Don’t worry, I didn’t snoop too much.  Not into stuff that looked personal.  I was just curious about you.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Okay.  I mean.  I guess you could.  It’s just….well, usually I don’t give a fuck what people really think about me and what I’ve done.  But…it’s different with you.  Heh.  Stupid.



Stark1:  ……I’m not quite positive what you’re saying…..but if it’s what I THINK you’re saying…..then that’s really cool.  And I’m happy.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Okay.  Good.  Happy is good.



Stark1:  Yea.

……happy would be ECSTATIC if you learned to verbalize a bit better.  *poke*



Hawkeye58:  Yeah, well.  Some people just aren’t as verbal.  Thought I was doing pretty good there.



Stark1:  For you?  Yea, for you it was pretty damn good.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Thanks.



Stark1:  Ha I don’t know if it’s good or bad that you wound up with someone as loud and obnoxious as me.  But I plan on keeping you, and you seem okay with that, so I guess you’ll just have to get used to what an annoying, persistent bastard I am.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah yeah.  Think I’m getting used to it.

…..heh.  Keeping me.



Stark1:  …..what’s so funny.



Hawkeye58:  Nothing, just….sounds like you picked up a stray.



Stark1:  Ha.  Well, I kinda did.  We’re all sort of strays, in our own way.  All of us Avengers.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Yeah.  That’s true.  Really misfit pack of strays.



Stark1:  Yea.



Hawkeye58:  Well.  I’m totally the best choice.  Even if I’m a bit runty compared to some of the others.



Stark1:  Hahaha well Thor and Steve are abnormally huge.  And Bruce, if you count him in his other form.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah, I know, right.  Geez.  Sometimes I’m more worried about getting accidentally hit by one of them than the idiots actually gunning for us.  They’d do a ton of damage.



Stark1:  Ha yea, tell me about it.  I’ve gotten kicked around by Thor.  It’s not fun.



Hawkeye58:  Damn.  I can imagine.  Guy patted me on the back once.  Almost knocked me into the floor.



Stark1:  Yea.  When he first showed up, we had an all-out knock-down brawl.  He nearly crushed my arm, suit on, just by squeezing it in his bare hand.



Hawkeye58:  Holy shit, really?  Heh.  Wow.  Real glad I didn’t run into him when I was still…..yeah.  Am kinda sad I missed it, though.  Was probably epic to watch.



Stark1:  Ha yea I would imagine.  Loki seemed pretty fucking amused.



Hawkeye58:  He would have.  Crazy bastard.



Stark1:  Heh.  Yea.  You should’ve seen him.  He just sat his ass down to watch.  Thought he was going to whip out some popcorn or something.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Yeah.  He had a sadistic sense of humor.  Though I guess I’m one to talk, after saying I’m sorry I missed it.



Stark1:  Heh.  If you say so.



Hawkeye58:  Well, I do.



Stark1:  Oh, well okay then.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah………you were talking about a pajama party.  Or something…..



Stark1:  Ha.  I figured you were hoping I’d forgotten that.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah…..well, I was.



Stark1:  HA!  Why’d you bring it up again, then?



Hawkeye58:  ………..honestly, I have no idea.



Stark1:  Ha.



Hawkeye58:  Shuttup.



Stark1:  So you gonna tell me what these funny pajamas of yours look like?



Hawkeye58:  I’ve got some with hearts and arrows all over them.  It was a joke gift but damn they’re comfy.  I don’t even care.






Hawkeye58:  No.  Purple……really gay purple, though, I have to admit.   Shut up.  They’re comfy.






Hawkeye58:  …..shuttup.



Stark1:  Ha.  Like you would if it was me.



Hawkeye58:  ……true.  So, what about you?



Stark1:  Me?  I have lots.  Its sort of a thing with me.  I like to give them to people, too.  Oh man.  I got Pepper this AWESOME nightie, it’s really sexy, but it has Donald Duck printed all over it.  HILARIOUS.  She looks hot in it, though.



Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  That’s awesome.



Stark1:  It totally was.  Thing barely covered her ass.  Little matching panties.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Went all out, huh.



Stark1:  Ohhhhhh yea.  And it was totally worth it.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Glad to hear it.



Stark1:  Oh?  Ha guess that’s good to know.



Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Yeah….



Stark1:  I have a picture of her wearing it, posed with one of my cars down in the lab.  Oh man.  She’d probably kill me if she knew I still had that.



Hawkeye58:  Heh…..probably……



Stark1:  I think I was instructed to burn it when stuff cooled off.



Hawkeye58:   Just think?

…….hey, Tony.  Do me a favor and DON’T get killed by Pepper.



Stark1:  Ha I’ll do my best.  But that picture stays with me.  I’ve had my last glimpse of Pepper naked.  I’m keeping that souvenir.



Hawkeye58:  Fair enough.  I won’t let her know you have it.



Stark1:  Ha.  Like I ever thought you would.



Hawkeye58:  Good.  Because……yeah.  I’m usually pretty awesome at keeping secrets.



Stark1:  I’ve noticed.  You’re very tight-lipped.

… know, I’m gonna go look for that picture.



Hawkeye58:  What.  You don’t know where it is?



Stark1:  Somewhere in the lab.  It’s not like I was really looking at it much.  I mean, we weren’t together anymore.  So I stuck it in a drawer.



Hawkeye58:  Ah……why do you want to look at it now?



Stark1:  Well, now I’ve thought of it, and I HAVEN’T seen it in a while, and it’s hot.  So I’d like to see it.



Hawkeye58:  …….but……now?  I mean…..I just…..I don’t get it….



Stark1:  ……….I really don’t know how else to explain it.  Sexy photo is sexy.



Hawkeye58:  …….but……is that it?  You just want something sexy?



Stark1:  Not really.  It’s not like I’m just gonna haul off and go searching for a random person.  Was just thinking of that photo.




Hawkeye58:  …….no reason.  Just.  I mean……if that was what you wanted…….I can be sexy.



Stark1:  ………………….did you seriously just feel the need to tell me that?



Hawkeye58:  ……..yes.



Stark1:  …… really are an idiot, you know that?



Hawkeye58:  ………shut the hell up.



Stark1:  I will not.  That was just plain stupid.



Hawkeye58:  Was not.



Stark1:  It was too.  You should already know how sexy I think you are.



Hawkeye58:  Well……yeah.  But.  I mean.  I can be sexy and you don’t need the picture.



Stark1:  ……..oh?  Like how you don’t need to enjoy Tasha’s t&a?



Hawkeye58:  Okay…..I deserved that.



Stark1:  Yea.  You did.



Hawkeye58:  ………so…….yeah.  Okay.



Stark1:  ……..”okay” what?



Hawkeye58:  I don’t know.  I forgot what I was talking about.



Stark1:  ……..yea, okay.



Hawkeye58:  So.  Besides finding the picture, what’cha up to?



Stark1:  ………….talking to an evasive bastard.



Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Sorry.  Actually not trying to be.



Stark1:  Mmhm.  If you say so.  Oh, I think I found it.



Hawkeye58:  That’s…….nice.



Stark1:  Yea.




Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Well……I should be at……the range.  Um.  Gonna shoot some things…..  You ah.  Have fun.



Stark1:  Who are you going with?



Hawkeye58:  Just me.



Stark1:  ……….you seem kinda……….I don’t know.  Wonky.  You sure you should be going alone?



Hawkeye58:   What?  Yeah.  I mean.  Yeah.  I go alone all the time.  It’s fine.  I’ll be fine.



Stark1:  ……….you’re really sounding weird.  Why don’t you come over here?



Hawkeye58:  No.  No, it’s okay.  Really.  I’m fine.



Stark1:  ……why don’t you want to come over?



Hawkeye58:  Not that I don’t want to……I just want to go to the range.



Stark1:  ……ok fine.  Whatever.  Have fun.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  You…..ah.

I don’t want to go to the range anymore.



Stark1:  …………what the fuck.  Sometimes I really don’t understand the way your mind works.  At all.  Where DO you want to go.



Hawkeye58:  I don’t know.  But not the range.  Or here.



Stark1:  Okay.  It’s a start, I guess.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah……I’m.  I’m gonna go over there.



Stark1:  …………you are truly bizarre.  Can I do anything?



Hawkeye58:  Do anything?  I don’t think so…..just.  Wanna see you.



Stark1:  Okay.  You know, you’re sorta freaking me out, you sure you’re okay?



Hawkeye58:  I’m fine, Tony.  I just.  Want to see you.



Stark1:  ……….okay…..



Hawkeye58:  Seriously.  I’m fine.



Stark1:  Okay, okay, fine.  You’re just not talking like you.



Hawkeye58:  No?  Sorry.  Maybe I’m a little off.  But I’m fine.



Stark1:  Yea, well, get on over, then.  I wanna see for real that you’re fine.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Okay.  I’m heading out now, then.



Stark1:  Okay.  Where are you now?



Hawkeye58:  Um.  I don’t know.  Some air space over New York.  Shouldn’t take me long to get there.



Stark1:  Okay.  Well, don’t rush, but… quick as you can.  I want to see you.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Soon….

Gotta figure out how to get down.  Don’t feel like taking the jet.



Stark1:  ……..wait, WHERE are you?



Hawkeye58:  Told you.  Airspace above New York.  Well.  Guess it’s close to Brooklyn.



Stark1:  …..okay.  Well, what’s the plan, then?



Hawkeye58:  Um.  I get down and catch a train.



Stark1:  Fuck that.  I’ll come get you.  Where are you?



Hawkeye58:  On the carrier still.  Just above Brooklyn…..Park?



Stark1:  Where do you want me to get you, I mean.  You know where you’re landing?



Hawkeye58:  Um….the pink trees.  There’s a space between em.  I’ll land somewhere in there.



Stark1:  HA!  Okay, I’ll follow those extremely technical directions.  See you soon.



Hawkeye58:  Okay…….should I be more specific?  I can probably get coordinates.



Stark1:  Hahaha it’s fine.  If you’re in that area of the park, I can handle it.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  You know…….just look for the people gawking at the idiot who decided to parachute into Brooklyn.



Stark1:  HAHAHAHAHA PLEASE tell me it was a rainbow parachute.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  No.  Sorry.  Standard parachute.



Stark1:  DAMMIT.  Way to rain on my parade.



Hawkeye58:  Sorry.  We’re not really in the habit of having rainbow anything.



Stark1:  Well, I think you need one.  It’d look spiffy.



Hawkeye58:  It’d look stupid.



Stark1:  It’d look awesome.



Hawkeye58:  Only to you.



Stark1:  Well, I’m the only one who should count.  Okay, gorgeous, I’m pulling up.  Hopefully no one will care if I drive through Brooklyn Park.



Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Hopefully.  Not that it matters, I’m sure.



Stark1:  If I drive on the grass?  Haha why would that not matter?



Hawkeye58:  To you.  It’ll totally matter to them.



Stark1:  Ohhh haha yea I was talking about them.



Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Well…..I think they mind haha.  I’m on your right side.



Stark1:  Okay.  Oh yea I see you.  Hurry and jump in the car before the cops come drag me off for my shenanigans.



Hawkeye58:  Haha sounds fun.  See ya in a sec.





Leave a comment


  1. Love it!!!!!

  2. Kate

     /  January 3, 2013

    These stories are so great! I don’t think there is a Brooklyn Park, though. Prospect Park, perhaps?

    • Nah. He just meant a park in Brooklyn. I just did not know that, so I used all capitals lol. I just checked w/ J2 and she told me she had just meant any park in Brooklyn. So that one was my bad, for capitalizing all of it.

  3. Tabby

     /  March 28, 2013

    “Stark1: Yea. When he first showed up, we had an all-out knock-down brawl. He nearly crushed my arm, suit on, just by squeezing it in his bare hand.” Ha! Avengers movie reference, nice! I also love how Tony is determined to have Clint have a tighter uniform and a rainbow parachute…this gives me an idea that I think you’ll love 😛 I think it’s time for ME to give a present to YOU and J2!

    • Oh yea? Well, we always appreciate presents!

      Thank you so much for all the reviews! They seriously have made me so happy. I had a really horrible day at work, too, and this was so lovely to come home to. Really, thank you.

      • Tabby

         /  March 29, 2013

        Yes. I decided today that I’m going to give you and J2 each your own present. Then, if I can find enough time in my schedule, I’m going to begin working on something I’m going to refer to as ‘the big prize.’ The big prize is honestly going to take me months, so I’m going to send it to you in parts. Your presents will, thankfully, not take nearly as long 😛 I need a way of sending all of this to you and I’m really hoping that email works for you too. The one email address that you’ve posted on this site before doesn’t work for me for some reason.

        You’re welcome! Thanks for always finding time to reply to me. It means a lot that you would take the time out of your schedule to write back to me even if my reviews aren’t the greatest. I’m sorry you had a horrible day at work, but I’m really happy I could make your bad day better. Again, you’re welcome 😛

      • This didn’t work?

        That’s really strange. That’s where I prefer all my email to go. I have another that I use for older stuff and more junkmail type stuff. It’s

      • Tabby

         /  March 30, 2013

        For some reason it said it wasn’t a valid email address. Thank you!

      • Huh. That’s weird. Lol well I hope it works out this time.

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