Safety First: Chapter 1

Whether you’re careful or not, accidents happen. Its better when you have someone to help you out.

Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton, first chapter in text format, second chapter in story format.

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Hawkeye58:  Tony.  This guy is trying to tell me I can’t have sex with a broken rib.  That’s bullshit, right?

Stark1:  What the hell did you do to yourself?

Hawkeye58:  …….that doesn’t really answer my question.

Stark1:  Yea, well I’m not answering you till you tell me what happened.

Hawkeye58:  ……….can’t a guy just have a rhetorical conversation with his coworkers?

Stark1:  Not when it involves you breaking something.  Now talk.  Or you’re going to end up not getting sex even if you’re completely healthy.

Hawkeye58:  Oh, that’s just mean.

……..so, I may have been involved in a “vehicular accident” where I was not the one driving said “vehicle”…..but I’m fine.

Stark1:  Wait what the fuck.  You got hit by a car?!

Hawkeye58:  I know, right.  How embarrassing is that.

Stark1:  Goddammit Clint.  What the hell were you doing?

Hawkeye58:  Trailing someone.  Lost the bastard cuz SOME people thought I needed medical attention.

Stark1:  No you idiot I meant what were you doing that put you IN THE PATH OF A CAR

Hawkeye58:  Seriously.  I was just following the guy.  Tried to cut down a side street.  Thing came out of nowhere.

Stark1:  ……………….not even the guy you were following.  Just a random person driving.

Hawkeye58:  Think so.  Guess it was a hit and run.  I mean, it wasn’t the guy I was following.  Cuz I was following.  No way he had time to get a car and drive away.

Stark1:  ………..you IDIOT.  Pay attention!  No, you can’t have sex.

Hawkeye58:  Seriously?  And I WAS paying attention, thank you.  Path was clear when I started.

Stark1:  Yea, okay.  Guess he was going 100 mph, then.

Hawkeye58:  Maybe.  I don’t know!  I’m sorry.  I’m fine, okay?

Stark1:  Yea.  Is it a broken RIB or RIBS?

Hawkeye58:  …..three…..two cracked.  Mild concussion.  Abrasions.  But Tony.  I’m okay.  I’m fine.  The other stuff is nothing.  The ribs are annoying but nothing major.  Kid stuff.

Stark1:  ……yea.  No sex for you.

Hawkeye58:  …………….this is officially my least favorite mission ever.

Stark1:  Well, maybe you shouldn’t get hit by cars.  Dumbass.

Hawkeye58:  Oh, gee.  Thanks for that golden piece of wisdom.  I’ll jot that down for next time.

Stark1:  Shuttup asshole.  It’s your own damn fault.

Hawkeye58:  How is that my fault?  I actually WASN’T the one driving like a crazy person this time.

Stark1:  Yea well you ran out in front of it.  Pay more attention.  And stop being difficult or I won’t take care of you in other ways.

Hawkeye58:  Hey.  I was there first……wait.  Other ways?

Stark1:  Yea.  Other ways.  I can still make you feel good.

Hawkeye58:  ……….and I can still make YOU feel good, too.

Stark1:  No.  No you can’t.  YOU are going to sit still and get better.

Hawkeye58:  Oh my God I’ll die.  I can’t sit still.  That’s torture.

Stark1:  Yea well the more you move, the longer it’ll take to heal, the longer you’ll be laid up.

Hawkeye58:  …………dammit.  I hate when you make sense.

Stark1:  HA!  Well, I do, so suck it up.  But if you promise to behave yourself, I promise to take care of you.  And make you feel good.  Really fucking good.

Hawkeye58:  Heh.  Guess I at least have you this time around.  Healing by myself sucks.

Stark1:  Yea I’d imagine.  But I’m gonna take care of you.

Hawkeye58:  Thanks…..I’m sorry.  I really didn’t mean for this.  And I mean.  I can still do things.  I just have to be careful.

Stark1:  No.  You’re going to sit still.

Hawkeye58:  Come on.  There must be some things I can do.  It’s just a few ribs.

Stark1:  No.  You’re going to sit still and behave yourself.  I want you to heal up right.

Hawkeye58:   Tony.  I’ll go insane.  I really feel I will go insane.  I need stuff to do.  I can’t just not do anything.  It’s against my nature.

Stark1:  Well, you’re going to have stuff to do.  I’ll be there to keep you occupied.  And I like to think I’m pretty distracting.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Okay.  But what about when you have stuff to do?

Stark1:  I won’t.  I’m clearing my schedule as we speak.

Hawkeye58:  Tony.  No.  You have things to do.  Don’t screw up your whole schedule.

Stark1:  I’m not screwing it up.  My boyfriend is hurt.  I’m going to go take care of him.

Hawkeye58:  I just.  If it’s something important, don’t cancel it.  I’ll behave.

Stark1:  Whatever.  If Fury’s got a problem he can blow me.

Hawkeye58:  Um, no.  No he can’t.  That’s mine.

Stark1:  Ha!  What…..you own my cock now?

Hawkeye58:  I own all of you.  Pretty sure we discussed ownership of each other a while back.

Stark1:  Actually, I seem to remember me calmly discussing ownership of you…..and then some wonderfully violent sex where you fucked me into the floor and TOLD me I was yours.  There was no discussion that time.

Hawkeye58:  Oh really?  My bad.  I’ll draw up some paperwork.  “Tony Stark can only get his sexing from one Clint Barton.”

Stark1:  Heh.  Sounds good to me.  I’ll gladly sign.

…..though I REALLY enjoyed that whole fucking-into-the-floor thing.  Maybe we can still do that?

Hawkeye58:  I’d love to.  Let’s do that tonight.

Stark1:  Haha nice try.

Hawkeye58:  …..damn.

Stark1:  Yea.  You really think I’m that stupid?  I’m a little insulted.

Hawkeye58:  Not stupid.  Distracted.

Stark1:  Wait, I’M distracted?

Hawkeye58:  I was hoping you would be.  But you weren’t.  These bandages are itchy.  I hate these kind.

Stark1:  Sorry.  Tell them to give you different ones.  Tell them I said so.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Tony fucking Stark said to get me better bandages.

Stark1:  Fuck yea he did.  Where are you?

Hawkeye58:  Some sketch hospital in DC.  I don’t know.  They took me to the closest one.  Insisted I was in shock.  I was just pissed.

Stark1:  HA!  That’s the man I know and love.

Hawkeye58:  Heh what?  Worried I wasn’t?  😛

Stark1:  Ha well if you weren’t throwing a fit, I’d know that I REALLY had to be worried.

Hawkeye58:  Haha yea probably….and hey.  I was totally in my rights.  I totally could have still finished my job without civilian intervention.

Stark1:  …….Clint….

Hawkeye58:  …..well I could have.

Stark1:  And I would’ve kicked your fucking ass.  You would’ve been on sex-probation.

Hawkeye58:  ………….that would have SO been an overreaction.  Side note.  I thought I had a right to refuse medical attention.  They did not give me that option.  I really hope SHIELD is up to date on my I.D information.

Stark1:  …………..if I ever, EVER find out that you have refused medical attention………………………………….do not try me.

Hawkeye58:  But I didn’t even know who these people are!

Stark1:  Then you fucking call me!  Call SOMEONE!  If you’re in good enough shape to finish your mission, as you claim, then I’m sure you can get your hands on a phone.

Hawkeye58:  And I would have.  When I was done.  But they wouldn’t let me finish.  OR call anyone because apparently I was “in shock, confused, and aggressive”.

Stark1:  Yea.  And if you could handle your mission, why couldn’t you snatch a phone?  Huh?  Motherfucker.  We’re going to sort this out when I get there, okay?  This isn’t going to happen again.

Hawkeye58:  What’s not happening again?  Me getting hit by a car?  Cuz I am TOTALLY on board with that.

Stark1:  Ha.  Asshole.  No.  You being unable to get in contact in a situation like this.  I’m going to fix it.

Hawkeye58:  Hey, I tried.  But they didn’t seem to believe that I really knew Tony Stark.  That was apparently the shock talking, too.

Stark1:  I don’t care.  I’m fixing it.

Hawkeye58:  How the hell are you fixing it?  Tony.  I’m fine, I said.

Stark1:  I’m going to make you a communicator to wear that’s small enough to be relatively unnoticeable.  Then you can’t lose it, and no one can take it away, and you can get in touch when you need me.  Or anyone.

Hawkeye58:  Huh……neat.

Stark1:  Yea.  And I won’t be freaking out with worry all the time.  Not as bad, anyway.

Hawkeye58:  ……..I’m sorry.  I forget.

Stark1:  Yea.  You ass.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Love you.  And thanks.  Heh.  They keep looking at me all weird.  Think they’re scared.

Stark1:  HAHA not surprised.  Tch.  You’re such an ass.

Hawkeye58:  Hey.  I can’t help it if my otherwise charming disposition is fouled by medical sterility.

Stark1:  HAHAHA oh my God.  Stop it.  You’re going to make ME crack a rib.

Hawkeye58:  Ha!  Cracking ribs when I’m nowhere near the victim.  I am awesome.

Stark1:  Hahaha no, you’re an ass.

Hawkeye58:  But I’m also awesome.  And you love it.

Stark1:  Yup.  Love you tons.  And I’ll be seeing you soon.  Not too long now.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah? You close?  Good……I don’t really like these places.

Stark1:  Yea.  I would’ve wanted to get you out of there anyway, but if you’ve got a concussion you can’t sleep, and I figure I can be of some help with that…..

Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Heh.  Sounds nice.  I like you helping me not sleep.

Stark1:  Oh?  Good to know.  Guess I should keep it up, then.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Like you’d stop anyway.

Stark1:  Ha.  True.  Though I AM going to use this to backup as to MY lack of sleep.

Hawkeye58:  Totally different.  You sleep AFTER we stay up.  Not the same.

Stark1:  ………….still gonna use it.

Hawkeye58:  Not gonna listen.

Stark1:  Tch.  Like you ever do.

Hawkeye58:  HA!  True.

Stark1:  Yea.  True.

……so.  What to do with you tonight……

Hawkeye58:  You make it sound like you’re plotting something terrible.

Stark1:  Haha!  No.  Not when you’re hurt.  But I DO wanna make you feel good.  Make up for your shitty day.

Hawkeye58:  I know you’re already convinced of this….but you’re awesome.

Stark1:  Ha!  I’m glad we agree on that.

Hawkeye58:  Yup.

……this place sucks.  You’re taking us home, right?  I don’t want to stay here.

Stark1:  ………..I’ll see how bad you are.  If you’re okay to move tonight, then yea.  If not, we’ll stay the night and I’ll take you home tomorrow.  But either way, I’ll be with you.

Hawkeye58:  …..okay.  Heh.  You know what’s gonna be great?  When they realize I DO know Tony Stark.

Stark1:  HA!  Well, it IS impressive.  I give quite a bit of cred.

Hawkeye58:  I know.  But they just thought I was being crazy.  Take THAT non-believers.

Stark1:  Mm.  Imagine if they knew you were fucking me.

Hawkeye58:  Ha!  Yeah…..I’m awesome.  😉

Stark1:  HA!  Why……cuz you’re fucking me?

Hawkeye58:  Yes.  AND you love me.  I’m awesome.

Stark1:  Ha.  Yea.  You are.  And you better be resting.  I wanna take care of you once I get there, and if you look tired, it’s not gonna happen.

Hawkeye58:  ……………okay.  Fine.  Resting.  But I’m not tired.

Stark1:  I don’t care.  Rest.  Cuz I imagine that while injured, any kind of sexual activity will be more tiring than usual.

Hawkeye58:  ……yeah, probably.

Stark1:  Yea.  So take it easy.  Otherwise I won’t be able to suck your cock.

……amongst other things.

Hawkeye58:  …..fuck.  Don’t tell me these things.  I just get all antsy again.

Stark1:  Heh.  Sorry.  I’m almost there.  Just try and relax.

Hawkeye58:  Trying.

……shit.

Stark1: What?

Hawkeye58:  ………….I won’t be able to use my bow for a while.

Stark1:  No.  No you won’t.  And if I catch you trying, I will shove said bow up your ass.

Hawkeye58:  Think that might do even more damage, don’t you think?  😛

Stark1:  I’ll wait till you’re healed.  AND you’ll get put on sex probation.

Hawkeye58:  ……….that’s so mean.

Stark1:  Is not.  You need to take care of yourself.

…….make any smartass remarks and I kill you.

Hawkeye58:  I believe the point just made itself and so I will stay quiet this time.

Stark1:  ……….pain in the ass.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  You love me.  Now get your iron ass over here.  I’m so damn bored.

Stark1:  Plane’ll be landing in about two minutes.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah……should I ask which hospital I’m at or do you know?

Stark1:  I got you.

Hawkeye58:  Good.

…….do they really have to keep doing the light-in-my-face thing?  It’s annoying.

Stark1:  Wait what the fuck?  What are they doing?

Hawkeye58:  This stupid little penlight thing.  They keep shining it in my eyes every half hour or so.  It’s bright and annoying.

Stark1:  Well, depends how concussed, but you said it was mild, right?

Hawkeye58:  Well, that’s what the chart said.  But this is annoying.  And messes with my vision.

Stark1:  Goddammit.  If it really is a mild concussion then no, that’s not necessary.  I’m landing now.  I’ll sort it out.

Hawkeye58:  Hey….sorry.  S’my own fault.  Don’t get yourself worked up.  I mean.  Hurry.  Cuz I’m bored as hell.  But I’m fine.

Stark1:  Be better in a minute.  Cuz I’M here now.  😛

Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Really?  Whoa.  I was that close to an airport?  Did you find me?  I didn’t give them a name.

Stark1:  …………….I kinda landed in the parking lot.

Hawkeye58:   HAHAHA I love you

Stark1:  Heh.  You better.  I’m on my way in.  I’ll get the damn flashlight out of your face, see how you’re doing, and figure out whether we’ll be staying the night.

Hawkeye58:  Awesome.  If we have to stay…please bring real food?

Stark1:  No.  I’ll order some.  Once I find you, I’m sticking with you.

Hawkeye58:  Awesome.  Cuz I’m hungry but I don’t trust the food here.

Stark1:  I’ll get you food, don’t worry.  We’ll get it settled when I get in there.

Hawkeye58:  Okay.  Heh.  Thanks.

Stark1:  Shuttup.  Don’t need to thank me.

Hawkeye58:  Feel like I do.  Hey….can we…..maybe not mention I was hit by a car to the others?  I mean…..Nat’s gonna find out.  But……it’s embarrassing.

Stark1:  Ha.  You mean you don’t want Steve to know?

Hawkeye58:  ……yeah.  He’ll either think I’m an idiot or be an over-protective ass every time I cross the street…..or both.

Stark1:  Hahaha.  Probably both.  Hey, anyone still with you?

Hawkeye58:  No.  Nurse left a while ago.  Said she’d be back in to check on me.  Totally ignored me when I said she didn’t need to.

Stark1:  Heh.  No one there to see that you really DO know Tony Stark?

Hawkeye58:  I can press the call button obnoxiously

Stark1:  HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD.  DO IT.

Hawkeye58:  I totally will.  Be like “WHAT NOW?”

Stark1:  OH MY GOD YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME.  Okay.  Okay.  I’m almost there you crazy bastard.  God, I love you.

Hawkeye58:  Love you too.  I have the call button ready.  Gonna press it like crazy.

Stark1:  Hahaha okay.  See you in a minute.  Love you.

Hawkeye58:  Love you too.

~tbc~

Leave a comment

7 Comments

  1. sabrina

     /  July 3, 2012

    this is too funny, can’t wait to see how this one will play out!

    Reply
  2. Mairead

     /  July 3, 2012

    I love your writing so much! I love Clint/Tony

    Reply
  3. Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! Tony and Clint are my favorites!

    Reply
  4. Melissa

     /  July 8, 2012

    I really love this one (of course, I love all of them, but especially this one). I just really like how Tony is so protective of Clint. I can’t wait for the next chapter!!!

    Reply
  5. redneckmeetsgeek

     /  July 12, 2012

    Love this! I love Tony and Clint!

    Reply
  6. Tabby

     /  September 29, 2012

    Amazing 🙂

    Reply
  7. Tala

     /  May 13, 2013

    Omg, this is great! These two are awesome, I love them. Nice fic ^^ And thanks for the pn on ff.net with this adress 😀
    I didn’t review the others, did I? Damn, I tought I had (I really shouldn’t have read them half asleep, I closed them without klicking on post comment xD). From now on I will review, when I’m not forgetting to do so ^^

    Wolfswaechterin Tala

    Reply

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