What do Bulgaria, SHIELD uniforms, Tony Stark, Hide and Go Seek, and quinjets all have in common? Clint Barton.
Established relationship, Tony/Clint. Text format, chapter 2 to be in story format.
**Sidenote: there is an unpublished piece where Tony calls Clint “cute”. That comes into this story.
Stark1: Clint, come see me.
Hawkeye58: You’re awfully demanding.
Stark1: I am. I’m a demanding, needy bastard.
Hawkeye58: Spoiled brat.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Least you admit it.
Stark1: Heh. Would you believe I was actually shy as a kid?
Hawkeye58: Haha. What happened?
Stark1: I have no idea. The obnoxious kicked in around the time dad shipped me off to boarding school. Think I just wanted more attention and then never learned how to cap it off.
Hawkeye58: Well, good. Prefer you this way. I’m not the only one getting yelled at.
Stark1: HA I love how it’s not that you like my personality, you just don’t wanna be the only one getting in trouble. Nice.
Hawkeye58: Nope. LOVE your personality. That’s like….bonus features.
Stark1: ……you’re awesome.
Hawkeye58: I know. 😉 So are you.
Stark1: ……okay, now you REALLY need to come see me.
Hawkeye58: Really? That set it in stone for you?
Stark1: Heh yea.
Hawkeye58: You’re weird.
Stark1: Assuredly. Now come see me.
Hawkeye58: Where are you? New York still?
Stark1: ………………………..….where do you want me to be?
Hawkeye58: ……the hell kind of answer is that hahaha
Stark1: The kind you should be used to by now. As you just pointed out, I’m weird.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. But that’s stupid. If I told you to go somewhere else and you did…..why not just come to where I am?
Stark1: Hahaha I didn’t say I’d go elsewhere. Just wondered if you had somewhere particular you were hoping I was.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Well, no. Just wanted to make sure I went to the right place.
Stark1: Well, if I AM in New York, and you’re off in fucking Turkey or something, like before, then how’ll this work?
Hawkeye58: Hahaha. By making sure I catch the right flight.
Stark1: Fuck. ARE you in Turkey?
Hawkeye58: Eh. I think I might be in Bulgaria. Sort of on the line. Never was good at figuring out which side of the squiggly border line I’m on.
Hawkeye58: What…..it’s not that far. Sort of.
Stark1: ………..what kind of crack are you on?
Hawkeye58: Hey. I’m clean. I mean….okay. Geographically it’s far. But I mean…..still not too bad.
Stark1: Yea? When would you get here?
Hawkeye58: Ah….well…..if I can get a quinjet out of here……couple hours?
Stark1: …………and you’d be able to stay? You wouldn’t be flying right back out?
Hawkeye58: Should actually have a couple of days at least.
Stark1: Yea? Really?
Hawkeye58: Yeah, really.
Stark1: Wow. That’s awesome. Heh. I’ll try and be patient, then.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I know. Doesn’t happen often.
Stark1: Ha too true. But I wanna see you. I’m willing to wait.
Hawkeye58: Good. Be there as soon as I can.
Stark1: ……should I stop bothering you? Will that get you here faster?
Hawkeye58: Ha. Nah. Just gonna try and sweet talk Coulson into letting me take a jet.
…..you have a place for me to park one?
Stark1: ……did you seriously just ask if I have a place to park a jet? What do YOU think?
Hawkeye58: I don’t know! I’m assuming yes.
Stark1: Yes, I have room. I imagine it’ll be pretty obvious when you’re coming in from above.
Hawkeye58: Okay. Good.
Stark1: Yea, good. Now get your fine ass over here.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Will do. Got okay’d by Coulson under the orders that we are not to cause undo trouble.
Stark1: …….does he know who we are?
Hawkeye58: Yeah, I said the same thing. He said to contain it to the tower because if he had to fix a mess we caused he’d “ground” us. Not sure what that means but the way he was glaring I might not even want to find out.
Stark1: …….but you’re coming?
Hawkeye58: Course I’m coming.
Stark1: When? Whenwhenwhenwhenwhenwhen?
Hawkeye58: Well, I just got the go ahead. So, soon.
Stark1: ……………. *bounce bounce*
Hawkeye58: You are so…….there are no words.
Stark1: Hahaha you usually manage to find some.
Hawkeye58: Hyper? Cute though.
Stark1: HAHAHA! So now I’M cute?
Hawkeye58: Hey. If I have to be cute, so do you.
Stark1: Oh, so I’m cute by default?
Hawkeye58: And because you are.
Stark1: Heh. Thanks.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Sure.
Stark1: You think I’m cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute
Hawkeye58: Oh my God, Tony. You’re ridiculous haha
Hawkeye58: Idiot……..love you.
Stark1: Heh. Love you too.
Stark1: …………so I told you to get your fine ass over here. Where are you?
Hawkeye58: Working on it. Can’t really make this thing go any faster.
Stark1: ………….maybe I can do something about that.
Hawkeye58: ……yeah, you know…..don’t doubt it. But not sure if it’s the best idea, either.
Stark1: Pfft I can make it better. I can do it right now, the SHIELD jets really aren’t hard to hack into.
Hawkeye58: I REALLY don’t think you should be hacking these things while I’m in them.
Stark1: ……….you think I’ll fuck things up? I’m legit offended.
Hawkeye58: I didn’t say that. But what if someone else realizes you’re hacking? Tries to stop it. And THEN screws it all up.
Stark1: ………fine. I’ll leave it alone. But I still think you’re doubting my mad skills. May pay for it when you get here.
Hawkeye58: Look. You can hack into it next time.
Stark1: Haha. You’re making me feel like a little kid.
Hawkeye58: You’re ACTING like a little kid.
Stark1: Hahaha hey. Technology is a toy to me. Always has been.
Hawkeye58: …..if you really want to play with it, fine. But if someone tries to hack back…..don’t let them drop me. Seriously. It’s not you I’m worried about.
Stark1: Hey, if you’re really worried, I’ll leave it alone. It’s fine. I can screw around with something else.
Hawkeye58: Like what?
Hawkeye58: That’s not really descriptive.
Stark1: Heh. Wasn’t really meaning it to be.
Hawkeye58: You’re an ass.
Stark1: Hey! I’m leaving the jet alone!
Hawkeye58: Yeah. That’s true.
Stark1: So cut me some slack! And if you ever actually come to the lab, you can check out all the random stuff I make.
Hawkeye58: I’m gonna!
Hawkeye58: Yeah, really. Said I wanted to.
Stark1: Yea, but you never actually DO.
Hawkeye58: Because you’re distracting. And distracted.
Stark1: ……….how would you know I’m distracted? You’ve never been in there.
Hawkeye58: You’re distracted.
Stark1: ………..how do you know?
Hawkeye58: I’m pretty damn sure I’m just as good at being distracting as you are.
Stark1: ……….ah. THAT sort of distracted. Yea…………….
Hawkeye58: Yeah. So……yeah. Maybe we’ll be less distracted today.
Hawkeye58: …..what? Don’t think we can manage?
Hawkeye58: Haha. Okay. Tomorrow, then.
Stark1: ………….are you in your uniform?
Hawkeye58: …..don’t know if I should tell you.
Stark1: …………….yea, I don’t think I’ll get any work done. At all. Unless you make me. Oh. Oh. Order me around in your uniform? Oh fuck.
Hawkeye58: ….what?! Since when do you enjoy the thought of being ordered around?
Stark1: ……by you in your uniform? That is so totally a different thing. THAT is HOT.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Don’t know why. But if you think you’d like it, I’ll give it a go.
Hawkeye58: Maybe. If you follow orders.
Stark1: …..okay, you’re killing me. Where are you?
Hawkeye58: I don’t know. Ocean is ocean.
Stark1: …….this is my sad face. L
Hawkeye58: Haha I’m sorry. Not much longer I’m sure.
Stark1: Better not be. You’ve got me pacing.
Hawkeye58: Don’t wear a hole in the floor.
Stark1: Ha! You’re so evil. Smartass.
Hawkeye58: Heh. You love me.
Stark1: I totally do. And if you hurry that sweet ass up, I’ll show you just how much.
Hawkeye58: Oh? Well, I do like rewards. I think they help me bend the laws of physics.
Stark1: …….that would be AWESOME.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? Gonna try to do it.
Stark1: Guess I should continue to help, then.
Hawkeye58: Oh? Wait. Are you messing with the jet?
Stark1: Wait. What? Why would you ask that? Is something wrong?
Hawkeye58: No. Everything’s fine. Nothing outside perimeters. Just….you mentioning to keep helping me break the laws of physics made me suspicious. I can see the city line, by the way.
Stark1: Oh, good. On both accounts.
Hawkeye58: Yeah……I’m gonna park and then come find you.
Stark1: Oh? “Find” me? Should I hide?
Hawkeye58: You know what I mean. Ass.
Stark1: Hahaha you love me. Now get in here.
Hawkeye58: Working on it. Not much of a runway up here.
Stark1: Hey. It’s a private establishment. It’s impressive that it has a runway at all.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Yeah. Hope flight regulators don’t mind I just tore a jet through New York unannounced. Okay. Getting off this bird. See you in a moment.
Stark1: Good luck finding me in all the different floors. *cue evil laughter*
Hawkeye58: …..fucking bastard, Stark. You better hope I find you fast or not at all.
Stark1: ………….um………..what are you gonna do to me? Cuz now I’m sort of scared.
Hawkeye58: *cue evil laughter*
Stark1: …………oh dear God. I think now I actually MIGHT hide.
Hawkeye58: Losing time, then.
Stark1: …….but you’re being sort of scary.
…….will you come do horribly dirty things to me on the conference table?
Hawkeye58: …..that sounds fun.
Stark1: ………….are you fucking with me?
Hawkeye58: Not yet.
Hawkeye58: That’s the general idea.
Stark1: Okay, where the fuck are you?
Hawkeye58: Mnn…..it’s a secret.
Stark1: ……….I hate you.
Hawkeye58: No you don’t.
Stark1: Unfortunately, no.
……think I’m gonna just start getting naked. Maybe I’ll leave you a trail of clothes to help you track me.
Hawkeye58: Oh, I’ve found you.
Hawkeye58: You’re kind of adorable when you’re nervous.
Stark1: “Adorable“? ……okay, that didn’t help. Fuck.
Hawkeye58: Ahaha. Oh man. Hilarious. You know, I AM impressed, though. Figured you’d cheat by now and get Jarvis to tell you where I am.
Stark1: Um…..no. Just sort of…..chilling. On the conference table. I mean A conference table. There are many.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. I’m well aware of what you’re doing….
Hawkeye58: I’ll give you ten seconds to flee or put up a defense. Then I’m giving away my position.
Stark1: ………..not going to flee. Just…..stay……put? I guess?
Hawkeye58: You are so fucking nervous. It’s truly bizarre.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Adorable.
Stark1: Fuck you.
Hawkeye58: Alright. Ready or not……
Stark1: ……I think I may have a nervous breakdown.
Hawkeye58: ….here I come….