Uniforms, Quinjets, and Hide and Go Seek: Chapter 1

What do Bulgaria, SHIELD uniforms, Tony Stark, Hide and Go Seek, and quinjets all have in common? Clint Barton.

Established relationship, Tony/Clint. Text format, chapter 2 to be in story format.

**Sidenote:  there is an unpublished piece where Tony calls Clint “cute”.  That comes into this story.


Stark1:  Clint, come see me.

Hawkeye58:  You’re awfully demanding.

Stark1:  I am.  I’m a demanding, needy bastard.

Hawkeye58:  Spoiled brat.

Stark1:  Yup.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Least you admit it.

Stark1:  Heh.  Would you believe I was actually shy as a kid?

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  What happened?

Stark1:  I have no idea.  The obnoxious kicked in around the time dad shipped me off to boarding school. Think I just wanted more attention and then never learned how to cap it off.

Hawkeye58:  Well, good.  Prefer you this way.  I’m not the only one getting yelled at.

Stark1:  HA I love how it’s not that you like my personality, you just don’t wanna be the only one getting in trouble.  Nice.

Hawkeye58:  Nope.  LOVE your personality.  That’s like….bonus features.

Stark1:  ……you’re awesome.

Hawkeye58:  I know.  😉   So are you.

Stark1:  ……okay, now you REALLY need to come see me.

Hawkeye58:  Really?  That set it in stone for you?

Stark1:  Heh yea.

Hawkeye58:  You’re weird.

Stark1:  Assuredly.  Now come see me.

Hawkeye58:  Where are you?  New York still?

Stark1:  ………………………..….where do you want me to be?

Hawkeye58:  ……the hell kind of answer is that hahaha

Stark1:  The kind you should be used to by now.  As you just pointed out, I’m weird.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  But that’s stupid.  If I told you to go somewhere else and you did…..why not just come to where I am?

Stark1:  Hahaha I didn’t say I’d go elsewhere.  Just wondered if you had somewhere particular you were hoping I was.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Well, no.  Just wanted to make sure I went to the right place.

Stark1:  Well, if I AM in New York, and you’re off in fucking Turkey or something, like before, then how’ll this work?

Hawkeye58:  Hahaha.  By making sure I catch the right flight.

Stark1:  Fuck.  ARE you in Turkey?

Hawkeye58:  Eh.  I think I might be in Bulgaria.  Sort of on the line.  Never was good at figuring out which side of the squiggly border line I’m on.

Stark1:  ………fuck.

Hawkeye58:  What…..it’s not that far.  Sort of.

Stark1:  ………..what kind of crack are you on?

Hawkeye58:  Hey.  I’m clean.  I mean….okay.  Geographically it’s far.  But I mean…..still not too bad.

Stark1:  Yea?  When would you get here?

Hawkeye58:  Ah….well…..if I can get a quinjet out of here……couple hours?

Stark1:  …………and you’d be able to stay?  You wouldn’t be flying right back out?

Hawkeye58:  Should actually have a couple of days at least.

Stark1:  Yea?  Really?

Hawkeye58:  Yeah, really.

Stark1:  Wow.  That’s awesome.  Heh.  I’ll try and be patient, then.

Hawkeye58:   Yeah.  I know.  Doesn’t happen often.

Stark1:  Ha too true.  But I wanna see you.  I’m willing to wait.

Hawkeye58:  Good.  Be there as soon as I can.

Stark1:  ……should I stop bothering you?  Will that get you here faster?

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Nah.  Just gonna try and sweet talk Coulson into letting me take a jet.

…..you have a place for me to park one?

Stark1:  ……did you seriously just ask if I have a place to park a jet?  What do YOU think?

Hawkeye58:  I don’t know!  I’m assuming yes.

Stark1:  Yes, I have room.  I imagine it’ll be pretty obvious when you’re coming in from above.

Hawkeye58:  Okay.  Good.

Stark1:  Yea, good.  Now get your fine ass over here.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Will do.  Got okay’d by Coulson under the orders that we are not to cause undo trouble.

Stark1:  …….does he know who we are?

Hawkeye58:  Yeah, I said the same thing.  He said to contain it to the tower because if he had to fix a mess we caused he’d “ground” us.  Not sure what that means but the way he was glaring I might not even want to find out.

Stark1:  …….but you’re coming?

Hawkeye58:  Course I’m coming.

Stark1:  When?  Whenwhenwhenwhenwhenwhen?

Hawkeye58:  Well, I just got the go ahead.  So, soon.

Stark1:  ……………. *bounce bounce*

Hawkeye58:  You are so…….there are no words.

Stark1:  Hahaha you usually manage to find some.

Hawkeye58:  Hyper?  Cute though.

Stark1:  HAHAHA!  So now I’M cute?

Hawkeye58:  Hey.  If I have to be cute, so do you.

Stark1:  Oh, so I’m cute by default?

Hawkeye58:  And because you are.

Stark1:  Heh.  Thanks.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Sure.

Stark1:  You think I’m cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute

Hawkeye58:  Oh my God, Tony.  You’re ridiculous haha

Stark1:  XD

Hawkeye58:  Idiot……..love you.

Stark1:  Heh.  Love you too.

Hawkeye58:  Good.

Stark1:  …………so I told you to get your fine ass over here.  Where are you?

Hawkeye58:  Working on it.  Can’t really make this thing go any faster.

Stark1:  ………….maybe I can do something about that.

Hawkeye58:  ……yeah, you know…..don’t doubt it.  But not sure if it’s the best idea, either.

Stark1:  Pfft I can make it better.  I can do it right now, the SHIELD jets really aren’t hard to hack into.

Hawkeye58:  Tony….

Stark1:  Yea?

Hawkeye58:  I REALLY don’t think you should be hacking these things while I’m in them.

Stark1:  ……….you think I’ll fuck things up?  I’m legit offended.

Hawkeye58:  I didn’t say that.  But what if someone else realizes you’re hacking?  Tries to stop it.  And THEN screws it all up.

Stark1:  ………fine.  I’ll leave it alone.  But I still think you’re doubting my mad skills.  May pay for it when you get here.

Hawkeye58:  Look.  You can hack into it next time.

Stark1:  Haha.  You’re making me feel like a little kid.

Hawkeye58:  You’re ACTING like a little kid.

Stark1:  Hahaha hey.  Technology is a toy to me.  Always has been.

Hawkeye58:  …..if you really want to play with it, fine.  But if someone tries to hack back…..don’t let them drop me.  Seriously.  It’s not you I’m worried about.

Stark1:  Hey, if you’re really worried, I’ll leave it alone.  It’s fine.  I can screw around with something else.

Hawkeye58:  Like what?

Stark1:  ………….stuff……..

Hawkeye58:  That’s not really descriptive.

Stark1:  Heh.  Wasn’t really meaning it to be.

Hawkeye58:  You’re an ass.

Stark1:  Hey!  I’m leaving the jet alone!

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  That’s true.

Stark1:  So cut me some slack!  And if you ever actually spend any real time in the lab, you can check out all the random stuff I make.

Hawkeye58:  I’m gonna!

Stark1:  …………really?

Hawkeye58:  Yeah, really.  Said I wanted to.

Stark1:  Yea, but you never actually DO.

Hawkeye58:  Because you’re distracting.  And distracted.

Stark1:  ……….how would you know I’m distracted?  You never come there.

Hawkeye58:  You’re distracted.

Stark1:  ………..how do you know?

Hawkeye58:  I’m pretty damn sure I’m just as good at being distracting as you are.

Stark1:  ……….ah.  THAT sort of distracted.  Yea…………….

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  So……yeah.  Maybe we’ll be less distracted today.

Stark1:  ………………..uh………

Hawkeye58:  …..what?  Don’t think we can manage?

Stark1:  ………………no.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Okay.  Tomorrow, then.

Stark1:  ………….are you in your uniform?

Hawkeye58:  …..don’t know if I should tell you.

Stark1:  …………….yea, I don’t think I’ll get any work done.  At all.  Unless you make me.  Oh.  Oh.  Order me around in your uniform?  Oh fuck.

Hawkeye58:  ….what?!  Since when do you enjoy the thought of being ordered around?

Stark1:  ……by you in your uniform?  That is so totally a different thing.  THAT is HOT.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Don’t know why.  But if you think you’d like it, I’ll give it a go.

Stark1:  ………..fuck.

Hawkeye58:  Maybe.  If you follow orders.

Stark1:  …..okay, you’re killing me.  Where are you?

Hawkeye58:  I don’t know.  Ocean is ocean.

Stark1:  …….this is my sad face.  L

Hawkeye58:  Haha I’m sorry.  Not much longer I’m sure.

Stark1:  Better not be.  You’ve got me pacing.

Hawkeye58:  Don’t wear a hole in the floor.

Stark1:  Ha!  You’re so evil.  Smartass.

Hawkeye58:  Heh.  You love me.

Stark1:  I totally do.  And if you hurry that sweet ass up, I’ll show you just how much.

Hawkeye58:  Oh?  Well, I do like rewards.  I think they help me bend the laws of physics.

Stark1:  …….that would be AWESOME.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah?  Gonna try to do it.

Stark1:  Guess I should continue to help, then.

Hawkeye58:  Oh?  Wait.  Are you messing with the jet?

Stark1:  Wait.  What?  Why would you ask that?  Is something wrong?

Hawkeye58:  No.  Everything’s fine.  Nothing outside perimeters.  Just….you mentioning to keep helping me break the laws of physics made me suspicious.  I can see the city line, by the way.

Stark1:  Oh, good.  On both accounts.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah……I’m gonna park and then come find you.

Stark1:  Oh?  “Find” me?  Should I hide?

Hawkeye58:  You know what I mean.  Ass.

Stark1:  Hahaha you love me.  Now get in here.

Hawkeye58:  Working on it.  Not much of a runway up here.

Stark1:  Hey.  It’s a private establishment.  It’s impressive that it has a runway at all.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Yeah.  Hope flight regulators don’t mind I just tore a jet through New York unannounced.  Okay.  Getting off this bird.  See you in a moment.

Stark1:  Good luck finding me in all the different floors.  *cue evil laughter*

Hawkeye58:  …..fucking bastard, Stark.  You better hope I find you fast or not at all.

Stark1:  ………….um………..what are you gonna do to me?  Cuz now I’m sort of scared.

Hawkeye58:  *cue evil laughter*

Stark1:  …………oh dear God.  I think now I actually MIGHT hide.

Hawkeye58:  Losing time, then.

Stark1:  …….but you’re being sort of scary.

…….will you come do horribly dirty things to me on the conference table?

Hawkeye58:  …..that sounds fun.

Stark1:  ………….are you fucking with me?

Hawkeye58:  Not yet.

Stark1:  …..FUCK.

Hawkeye58:  That’s the general idea.

Stark1:  Okay, where the fuck are you?

Hawkeye58:  Mnn…..it’s a secret.

Stark1:  ……….I hate you.

Hawkeye58:  No you don’t.

Stark1:  Unfortunately, no.

……think I’m gonna just start getting naked.  Maybe I’ll leave you a trail of clothes to help you track me.

Hawkeye58:  Oh, I’ve found you.

Stark1:  …….ah…

Hawkeye58:  You’re kind of adorable when you’re nervous.

Stark1:  “Adorable“?  ……okay, that didn’t help.  Fuck.

Hawkeye58:  Ahaha.  Oh man.  Hilarious.  You know, I AM impressed, though.  Figured you’d cheat by now and get Jarvis to tell you where I am.

Stark1:  Um…..no.  Just sort of…..chilling.  On the conference table.  I mean A conference table.  There are many.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  I’m well aware of what you’re doing….

Stark1:  …………….

Hawkeye58:  I’ll give you ten seconds to flee or put up a defense.  Then I’m giving away my position.

Stark1:  ………..not going to flee.  Just…..stay……put?  I guess?

Hawkeye58:   You are so fucking nervous.  It’s truly bizarre.

Stark1:  Shuttup.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Adorable.

Stark1:  Fuck you.

Hawkeye58:  Momentarily.

Stark1:  ………….Goddamn.

Hawkeye58:   Alright.  Ready or not……

Stark1:  ……I think I may have a nervous breakdown.

Hawkeye58:   ….here I come….


Leave a comment


  1. Tabby

     /  September 29, 2012

    I feel like no one would be able to win in a game of hide’n’seek with Clint. He has an unfair advantage. He’s just too badass to play that game. Anyways, I love your stories.

  2. Windstorm124

     /  January 23, 2014

    I agree with Tabby; there is no way anyone would win at hide’n’seek with Clint. He has WAY too much practice in finding people that don’t want to be found. I feel kinda bad for Tony though; playing hide’n’go seek with a master assassin is no game for the weak 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: