Adventures In Science: Chapter 1

Whatever Tony Stark Wants, Tony Stark gets.  Clint should really learn to turn off his phone.

Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton.  Chapter 1 in text format, chapter 2 in story format.

Stark1:  Whatcha doing?

Hawkeye58:  Working.  Stupid paperwork with Coulson.

Stark1:  So…’ve crossed over to the other side.  I see how it is.

Hawkeye58:  Hahaha I have not.

Stark1:  Suuuuuuuure you haven’t.  It’s why you refuse to entertain me.  You’ve become a minion to the Dark One.

Hawkeye58:   Have not.  Though the “Dark One” is occupying all of my damn time.

Stark1:  ……and now you’re cheating on me.  Nice.

Hawkeye58: I am not and you know it.

Stark1: Yea, right.  That’s why you’d rather spend time with him than me.

Hawkeye58: Totally not the reason.

Stark1:  Tch whatever.

Hawkeye58: Oh, stop being so dramatic.

Stark1: NO.  Lonely.  Lonely and bored.

Hawkeye58: Well, unfortunately I can’t help that today.

Stark1:  Yea.  Cuz you’re busy canoodling with your new boyfriend.

Hawkeye58:  Totally not what’s going on.  😛

Stark1:  …….that little face at the end just makes me suspicious.

Hawkeye58:   Tony….I am not going to canoodle with Coulson.  That’s just weird.

Stark1:  ……’re still up to SOMETHING.

Hawkeye58:  I am up to nothing.

Stark1:  Pfft fine.  Whatever.  Bruce will probably want to hang out.  And even if not, he won’t be an elusive bastard.

Hawkeye58:  I’m not being elusive.

Stark1: Aaaaaaaaand now I spilled chemicals everywhere.

Hawkeye58:  What?  Are you okay?  Should I call someone?

Stark1:  No, I’m fine.  It’s just….eating through…..stuff.  Fuck.  This is what happens when I get upset.  I do stupid shit.

Hawkeye58: …..I’d offer to help clean it up but I’m assuming you don’t want me near it.

Stark1:  Yea.  Ah……hold on a second.

Hawkeye58:  Sure you don’t want me to call someone?  They’re not like…..stuff that’ll go airborne?

Stark1:  No, really, it’s fine.  It was just…….eating my pants.

Hawkeye58: …  You removed those, then, right?

Stark1:  ……….no.  I thought I’d let it continue and eat its way through my flesh.  Come on.  What do you think?

Hawkeye58: Just checking.  I don’t know…

Stark1:  Geez.

Hawkeye58:  …..what were you doing with chemicals?

Stark1:  ………..I plead the fifth.

Hawkeye58:  ……should we be scared?

Stark1:  …….I’d say I’m competent enough that we should be safe.

Hawkeye58: Hey, I don’t know.  They could be chemicals you’re planning to use in some elaborate prank.

Stark1:  Um, no.  I don’t fuck around like that.

Hawkeye58:  Well, not if it’s dangerous.  All you said was you knocked stuff over.  I know harmless chemicals can become an issue if mixed.  Maybe that was the case.  You won’t tell me so I get to make wild assumptions.

Stark1:  Tch whatever.

Hawkeye58:  Hey.  Don’t be mad.  I’m just rambling, really.

Stark1:  Whaaaaatever.  You always doubt my science skills.  I’m getting used to it.

Hawkeye58:  I do not.  I wasn’t doubting them at all.

Stark1: Yea yea.

Hawkeye58: Seriously.  I don’t doubt you and science.

Stark1: Yea?  You always seem fairly concerned about it.

Hawkeye58: Well, yeah.  Because even though you know what you’re doing, you either don’t eat or sleep while you’re doing it , or you hurt yourself testing it.

Stark1:  Hey.  That’s like……hazards of the road.  Comes with the job.

Hawkeye58:  I know.  But I can’t help getting a little worried.

Stark1:  Ha.  Thanks, I guess.  I really do know what I’m doing, though.

Hawkeye58:  I know.  I never said you didn’t.

Stark1:  I know.  Just……I don’t know.

Hawkeye58:  What?  Look.  If it upsets you I won’t mention it anymore.  I wasn’t trying to do that.  Really.

Stark1:  Not upset.  It’s nice that you worry.

Hawkeye58: Yeah……not used to it. Worrying.  I know I don’t have to.  But I do.

Stark1: Heh.  Thanks.
……guess I should put some pants on, huh.

Hawkeye58:  Ah.  Yeah.  Probably.

Stark1:  Ha.  Scientist porn.

Hawkeye58:  ……you’re weird.  And distracting.

Stark1:  Ha yea?

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.

Stark1:  And why’s that?

Hawkeye58:  Because I have an active imagination.

Stark1: …….oh?  Do tell.

Hawkeye58:  Uh, no.  It’s enough trying to get myself not to think about it…….and it’s not working.  Damn.  I hate you.

Stark1:  Ha you do not.  So, I’m not wearing pants.  Did I mention that?

Hawkeye58:  Yes.  You did.
……pantsless you is refusing to go away in my head.

Stark1: Oh.
…….I’m shirtless, too.

Hawkeye58:  ……Tony.  So not helping.

Stark1: Yup.  Just me and my under things.

Hawkeye58: …… suck.

Stark1:  Very well, I’ve been told.

Hawkeye58: Fuck!  Not helping.

Stark1:  Hahaha

Hawkeye58: Bastard.

Stark1:  You love it.
….mm.  Me mostly nude, doing science.  How horny are you right now?

Hawkeye58: ………………

Stark1:  …..ooh, I like that answer.

Hawkeye58:  ….I hate you so much.

Stark1: You do not.  In fact, I think you want to come to my lab and violate me in many and varied ways.

Hawkeye58:  ….yeah.  That sounds good, too.

Stark1:  Yea?  You think so?

Hawkeye58:  Oh yeah.

Stark1:  Mm….thought you couldn’t get away?

Hawkeye58: ……can’t.  Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.

Stark1:  Ah.
……so it would be extremely unfair of me to start texting you dirty pictures of me, naked, sprawled across a lab table, touching myself?

Hawkeye58: …….that would be decidedly unfair.

Stark1:  Heh.  Sounds extremely fun to me.

Hawkeye58:  You are an evil bastard.

Stark1:  Yup.  Totally evil.

Hawkeye58: ……dick.

Stark1:  …..thought you didn’t want to see that.  Okay, I’ll send you a pic.

Hawkeye58:  God dammit Tony!  Not helping!

Stark1:  *naked photo, on table*

Hawkeye58:  Tony!  This is torture!

Stark1:  *several more kinky pictures*

Hawkeye58:  Killing me.  Totally killing me.  This is in no way fair or humane.

Stark1:  *kinkykinkykinky*

Hawkeye58:  ………’re going to make things very awkward for me.

Stark1:  Yea?  Why’s that?

Hawkeye58: ……I’d prefer not to say.

Stark1:  Heh.  Then I’d prefer to keep sending you dirty pictures.

Hawkeye58:  …..not fair.

Stark1:  Heh.  I disagree.

Hawkeye58: You would.

Stark1:  Mmmhm.  *naked photo*

Hawkeye58:  …  Are awful.  And I hate you SO MUCH.

Stark1:  You do not.  You wanna come here and fuck me.

Hawkeye58: Goddammit Tony.

Stark1:  Ha.
…..hey…….you remember that bow you left here for me to work on?

Hawkeye58:  ……yeah…


Hawkeye58:  You know.  On second thought.  I’m going over there to kill you.

Stark1: Ha yea right.  If you actually DID come over here, you’d be coming over to fuck me.

Hawkeye58:  Kill you.

Stark1:  Fuck me.

Hawkeye58:  I think you’d enjoy that too much.

Stark1:  Ha.  I think you’d enjoy it much more than killing me.  Which we both know you really don’t wanna do.
…..hey, you with Coulson still?  Has he caught on to how ridiculously horny you are?

Hawkeye58:   …….probably……it’s Coulson.  Though if it’s the case, he’s keeping the knowledge to himself.

Stark1:  Hahaha awesome.

Hawkeye58: ………hate.  You.

Stark1:  You so totally do not.

Hawkeye58: You’re an ass.

Stark1:  You knew that already.
……wish you were here.  Want to touch you.

Hawkeye58: …..dammit.

Stark1:  Get you down in the lab at last.
……not really in the way I’d intended, but……I’m not feeling too picky.

Hawkeye58:  Tony……dammit.  I can’t……let me try and get out of here….

Stark1:  …….so you can come kill me?

Hawkeye58:  ….yeah.  That.

Stark1:  …..well, that’s no fun at all.  I don’t want to die.  I want to feel your body against mine.  Run my hands through your hair.  Taste your skin, your heat…..

Hawkeye58: Yeah.  I’m leaving.  When they take my phone away next time, remember…..your fault.

Stark1:  They’d better not.  I need to be in touch with you at all times.
……why would they take it away?  Did Coulson see those pictures?

Hawkeye58:  No.  But he’s a smart guy.  I’m sure he can figure out what’s going on.

Stark1:  …….are you being that obvious?

Hawkeye58:  Not at all.  It’s just freaking Coulson.  He’s magic or something.

Stark1:  Mmhm.  Okay.  If you say so.  I think you’re just so hot you can’t hide it.

Hawkeye58: Never.  Trained better than that.

Stark1:  You were never trained for ME.

Hawkeye58:  No.  But I like to think that I’m still good at covering my emotions…..everyone else will just assume I’m just doing my disrespect of authority thing.

Stark1: …….did I happen to mention that I’m waiting for you, naked, in my lab?  Oh, that’s right, I don’t have to, because I sent you MORE THAN TEN PICTURES.  But, in case they somehow got lost in transit, here’s another.  *sexiest photo yet*

Hawkeye58:  …..okay.  You know.  Really not helping.  Is, but it isn’t.  Do we have teleporters?  Did you invent that yet?

Stark1:  …….working on it.

Hawkeye58: Yeah, well……doesn’t help me now.

Stark1:  Suck it up.

Hawkeye58:  Your damn fault.

Stark1:  Yup.  And it’ll continue to be.  Cuz I’m keeping you.

Hawkeye58: You’re keeping me?

Stark1:  Yea.  You’re mine now.

Hawkeye58:  Hahaha yeah?

Stark1:  Yup.  Non-negotiable.

Hawkeye58:  Haha.  Don’t know how SHIELD will feel if it interferes with my contract.  I’m sure you guys can work out an arrangement.

Stark1: ……yea no, you’re mine.

Hawkeye58:  Hmm.
……I think I’m good with that, then.

Stark1: ……yea?

Hawkeye58: Yeah, actually.  Kind of weird.  You know.  But….yeah.  I’m good with it.

Stark1:  I love you so much.
…….you’d better have left by now.  I wanna feel your hands on my body.  Mine are really no replacement.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Yeah.  Gone.  I’m gone.  On the road.

Stark1:  Hurry.  Want you.  Feel your hands on me……fuck.  Just not the same.

Hawkeye58:  Well, stop trying and wait five minutes.

Stark1:  ……but I like giving you a nice mental image to work with….

Hawkeye58: Gonna get me in a damn accident is what you’re doing.  These people aren’t going fast enough.

Stark1:  Yea?  You thinking about me touching myself while I think about you?

Hawkeye58:  ….well……red lights are just suggestions, right?

Stark1:  HA!  Oh God, I love you.  Try not to get yourself killed.

Hawkeye58:  Ha.  Yeah.  That’d be a little counter-productive, right?

Stark1:  Just a little.  Who’d fuck me then?

Hawkeye58:  Don’t know.  But I’d find a way to kill them from the beyond, I’m sure……I’m double-parking.  Hope you don’t mind.

Stark1:  ……you hit my cars, I kill you.

Hawkeye58:  Not a scratch…..just don’t open the doors.

Stark1: ……..seriously, don’t hurt my babies.

Hawkeye58:  I’m not gonna hurt the cars.  Geez.

Stark1:  Hey, I love my cars.  They’re my babies.  Don’t judge me.

Hawkeye58:  Not judging.  But you’re totally killing the moment, here.  😛

Stark1: Oh, and now you LIKE the moment?  You were just threatening to kill me!

Hawkeye58:  It was precious.

Stark1:  ……precious?  What the fuck kind of answer is THAT?

Hawkeye58:  The kind where I’m frustrated and not thinking right and your lab is too damn far away from the front door.

Stark1:  … that makes me “precious”.  You know, that makes no damn sense.
……..let’s play a game.  Try and guess where my hands are right now and what they’re doing.

Hawkeye58:  The moment was precious and you were killing it.  I can’t tell if this game is helping or hindering.

Stark1:  ……I never thought you’d use the word “precious”.  Then again, you DID call me adorable, so I guess anything’s possible.  Besides, “this game” is what CREATED the moment, so I don’t see how it can be doing anything BUT helping.

Hawkeye58:  I’ve decided I’m going to fuck you, then kill you.  How many labs do you have?!  This is stupid.

Stark1:  I TOLD you I had a lot!  I’m downstairs.  Near the main lab.  Right hand side of the hall.  Better hurry up, don’t wanna lose this precious moment.

Hawkeye58:  Precious moment’s long since dead.

Stark1:  ……well, THAT’S no fun.  I think we should just call this off.  I don’t wanna do it if the moment’s not precious.

Hawkeye58: You can’t call it off, you bastard!

Stark1:  Well, you’re making it all un-special now.  I want my precious moment back.  I’m having it, no matter what you say.  So there.

Hawkeye58:  Fine.  Have it.  Make it as special as you damn want.

Stark1:  ……it’s in the lab.  I want it to be special…

Hawkeye58:  Goddamn it, Tony.  Anything with you is special.  It’s like a damn default setting.  Can’t turn it off and I don’t want to.  But it is REALLY hard to focus when you’re being a damn tease…

Stark1:  …..well I had to get you here SOMEHOW.

Hawkeye58:  Yeah.  Well, I’m here.  And it was a damn frustrating trek and I really just want to wipe away the damn smirk I KNOW you’re wearing and turn it into something more……just for me.

Stark1: It’s always just for you.
….and, for the record, I don’t smile at your irritation.  Not when you’re LEGIT irritated.  Now, are you still lost?

Hawkeye58:  Didn’t say smile.  Said smirk.  And possibly…..stopped for a second.

Stark1:  Same difference.  I don’t do it when you’re really upset.  Ask Jarvis….he’ll tell you how to get here.  Unless you’d rather I come meet you somewhere else?

Hawkeye58:  Ah….no.  Think I can get there.  Glass walls?

Stark1:  Yea.  If you’re actually there, I’d imagine it won’t be hard to spot me.  I’m the naked guy?

Hawkeye58:  Oh, is THAT who that is….

Stark1:  Haha.  I take it you’re here.  Yea, there you are.  Get your ass in here.

Hawkeye58:  My pleasure.



Leave a comment


  1. Tabby

     /  September 29, 2012

    Tony, Clint is not with Coulson…calm down 🙂 I love those two together. Tony ❤ Clint!


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