Tony stopped all of a sudden, his attention caught by something outside one of the shops.
A/N: For those who don’t know Hawkeye from the comics, take a look at his costume. It’ll help you understand something that occurs later in this chapter. Oh, Hawkeye, your uniform is silly.
Tony stopped all of a sudden, his attention caught by something outside one of the shops.
Clint had no idea how fast they were going, only that they made it to the center of town about ten minutes sooner than they should have. “………do you even know what a speed limit is?”
“Yup.” Tony unfastened his seatbelt. “Just don’t care.”
“…..you do know that laws still apply to you, right? Just because you’re a billionaire genius doesn’t mean you can’t get arrested.”
“No, I can’t get arrested because I’m awesome.”
“Oh, is that how it works.” Clint followed Tony out of the car. As it got later, the air was cooling down, a slight bite to it. He zipped up his coat.
“Yup. Besides, how fast were you driving earlier, to do a forty five minute drive in less than half an hour?”
Damn. Clint hadn’t thought Tony would remember that. “…….I have super powers that the rest of you Avengers don’t know about.”
Tony laughed. “Oh, is that it.”
“Really.” Tony fed money to the parking meter. “I think it’s more likely you just go as fast as you damn well want and then, if you get pulled over, you flash that SHIELD badge of yours and tell the police that you’re on a super important mission.
……….damn. Tony glanced over at Clint, mirth in his eyes, and Clint didn’t have an immediate snappy comeback. “……..shut up.”
Tony burst out laughing, and Clint had to smile; that laugh was infectious. “Dick.”
“Why? Cuz I’m right?” Tony was walking backwards so he could face Clint as they talked, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his overcoat. Clint was waiting for him to trip and fall down.
“Partly. Mainly you’re just a dick.”
“Guess I can see your point.” Tony stopped all of a sudden, his attention caught by something outside one of the shops. There was a display of hats, and one of them seemed to have caught his eye.
“I think you need this.” He moved to the rack of hats, returning to Clint with a winter snow hat, purple with two little points on it, almost like ears.
Clint looked at the hat, then at Tony. “……why do I need that?”
“It reminds me of you. It’s sort of bird-like.”
“…..bird-like?” Clint looked again. “…..Tony…..it looks like it has ears.”
“Birds don’t have ears. Not like that, anyway. Not visible ears.”
“…..ah.” Tony nodded. “I see your point.” But he still had the hat in hand, examining it at arm’s length. “………I’m gonna buy it for you.”
“Yea, you need it. I’m gonna buy it for you.”
“I’m not going to wear it.”
“Well, that would be rude, not to wear the gift I gave you.”
He sighed. There was really no point in arguing. Tony did what he wanted, no matter what anyone else said. “Fine. But I promise you, I’m going to find something ridiculous and buy it for you, and you’re going to have to wear it.”
Tony paused, considering. “…….fair enough.” He headed inside the shop with that hat. Clint watched him go. God…..you really can’t frazzle this guy. Nothing seemed to upset him, ever. Most people had a breaking point where when you had teased them too far, they would snap and get mad…but Tony Stark didn’t seem to have that. At least, not as far as Clint had seen.
There was a jangling of a bell as Tony emerged from the shop, hat in hand. “Here we go.” And before Clint could react, the hat was on his head, Tony tugging it carefully down. It was warm and snuggly, he’d give it that. But he could see his reflection in the shop window, and he looked, in his opinion, like a complete idiot.
Tony was looking at him, taking it in, and beaming. And Clint had to smile. “……..thanks.”
Tony laughed. “You’re welcome. But you don’t need to thank me. You didn’t even want it.”
Clint chuckled. “Well, yeah, but still. It was nice of you.” They were silent as they walked on together down the street. “……I’m still going to buy you something humiliating.”
“Hnn. I look forward to it.”
“So do I.” Clint glanced at the shops they were passing, at his reflection in the windows. “…….I’m not wearing this to the gala.”
A snort of laughter. “I didn’t think you would.”
Tony stopped in front of one of the shops. “Okay, here we are.” The windows were full of fancy suits, Armani and Gucci and God knows what other labels. He pulled the door open, holding it for Clint.
“Thanks.” Clint stepped inside, looking around. The place was huge, suits and dress shoes as far as the eye could see. And hats. That reminded him of what he had on his own head and he hurriedly tugged off the purple hat. Tony saw the action and grinned. Clint glared. “Shuttup.”
“May I help you gentlemen?” An elderly shopkeeper had approached, dressed in a neatly pressed suit of gray…..three piece, too. Geez.
The man’s eyes lit up with sudden recognition. “Mr. Stark! It’s good to see you again.”
They shook hands. “You, too. This is my friend Clint Barton.”
“How do you do.” The man offered his hand to Clint, who took it. He reminded Clint a little of the butler Alfred from the Batman movies. He had to fight hard not to laugh.
“So….what can I help you gentlemen with?”
“We need a suit for Clint.”
“Something not too fancy,” Clint immediately interjected, hoping maybe he could cut Tony off before he could begin and get carried away. But he immediately found himself with a face full of Tony’s hand, palm covering his mouth, shoving him away.
“We want something nice. Maybe…..” Tony turned, giving Clint an appraising look. “…..black, probably. Maybe a light gray shirt? Shades of blue for the tie, I think. Very light blue. It’ll bring out the color of his eyes.”
Clint didn’t know what to say to that. The fact that Tony had even noticed his eye color was extremely surprising. He shifted a bit awkwardly on his feet, not sure what to do.
The man returned quickly with some clothes, and Tony grabbed hold of Clint. “Hey! Um, wait, what….where are we going.”
“You have to try them on. Duh.”
“……and you’re coming?”
“Well, I have to show you where the dressing room is.”
Oh. Clint felt silly now. Of course Tony wouldn’t be coming in. There were the dressing rooms, though. But before he could escape, Tony paused, still gripping Clint’s shoulder. “…………I think you need a cravat.”
“A cravat. You know, Jane Austen type stuff.”
“…..Tony…..I am not wearing a cravat.”
“But they’re awesome.”
“Yeah, well, then why aren’t you wearing one?”
“Pepper didn’t put one out for me. Besides, do I look like I can tie a cravat? Science I can handle. But tying a cravat? I don’t think so.”
Clint shook his head. “I am not wearing a cravat.”
Tony gave him a look, but Clint just gave it right back, refusing to budge. Finally, Tony gave a theatrical sigh. “Fine, be that way.”
“Get in the dressing room. Go try on your suits.”
“I would’ve done that already if you hadn’t been trying to make me buy a cravat.”
“I wasn’t. I was trying to make you let me buy you a cravat.”
“You really are an ass.”
“Go try on your suits.”
“Then shut up and I will!” Clint grabbed the suits from Tony’s hands and entered the dressing room. After a brief moment’s contemplation, he locked the door behind him. He doubted Tony would enter, but it was never good to gamble on what Tony would or wouldn’t do.
He slipped into the first suit, wondering why the hell they had needed to pick out four suits. They were all black. What was the difference?
“Oi.” There was a loud noise as something connected with the door, shaking it, something that was most likely Tony’s foot. “You have to be dressed by now. Come out and let me see.”
Clint finished adjusting the tie. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”
“Oh? Sounds sexy.”
“…..you have issues, you know that?”
“Oh yea. Lots of issues. Now get your ass out here.”
Clint opened the door, stepping out. ‘Alfred’ was gone, only Tony still there, waiting expectantly. His eyes widened slightly when he saw Clint, but he said nothing, leaving the man to stand there, feeling five different shades of stupid. Instead, Tony moved towards the blonde, walking a slow circle around him, examining him from every angle.
Clint felt like he was going to snap. “Okay, Tony, I already feel awkward enough without you examining me like some laboratory experiment.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He came into view again, standing in front of Clint, looking him up and down, but still not saying anything.
Clint felt as if he could snap the man’s neck. “Well?” he demanded.
Tony looked up, smiling at him. “You look amazing.”
He couldn’t help but flush. It felt sort of weird getting compliments from a man, especially Tony Stark, who was known for being obnoxious and rude, but he could tell that Tony meant it…..which was almost stranger. He wasn’t sure exactly how to feel. He shoved the feeling away. “Thanks.”
Tony stepped closer, looking closely at the tie, then up at Clint’s eyes, his own eyes narrowing slightly as he examined them closely. His face was mere inches away. “…..I was right. This is a good color for your eyes.”
That proximity was unnerving. “Uh……good?”
“Yea.” Tony smoothed the tie down, his hand running down the front of Clint’s shirt, and backed away. “I don’t even think you need to try on the other suits. I think this is perfect. As long as you’re okay with it?”
Oh, thank God. He didn’t know if he could have handled this another three times. It really was discomfiting. “Yeah, I like it.”
“Good.” Tony began heading towards the counter, then paused, turning back towards Clint. “…….you’re sure I can’t convince you to go for the cravat?” His eyes were glittering with amusement. Clint glared.
Tony grinned. “Didn’t think so. Grab your clothes and put your shoes on, and meet me up front. You can just keep the suit on, we’ll put your clothes in a bag and bring them with us.”
“……I don’t have to wear some fancy shoes?”
“Nah, you’ll just be uncomfortable all night. Your sneakers are fine.”
“……..now I think I love you.”
Tony laughed. “Don’t tease. I may just take you at your word, and then where will we be?” He turned away, heading to the counter and leaving Clint behind.
The man quickly shoved his shoes back on, not bothering to untie them again, and scooped up all his clothes, joining Tony up front. The man already had a bag, and held it out for Clint. The blonde reached out to put his clothes in, but paused. There was something in there already. “……….Tony……what’s that?”
“What’s what?” But the words were far too innocent. Clint reached in, grasping the smooth piece of ivory silk, and pulled it out, holding it up to examine it.
“……….Tony……you did not buy me a cravat.”
“…….of course I didn’t. Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re a pain in the ass.”
“……..this is true.”
Clint sighed. “What the fuck did you buy me a cravat for?”
Tony did that same little half shrug-half nod that he had done earlier that day. “I don’t know. You never know when a cravat’s gonna come in handy.”
Clint just stared at him. “…………..you know, I have no response to that. I really don’t think there is a response to that.”
“So you’re not gonna argue with me?”
“Is there a point? You always win.”
“Oh, good. You’re learning.”
“God, I hate you sometimes.”
“No you don’t. I’m your favorite person ever.”
“Don’t push your luck.”
‘Alfred’ was staring at them, unsure. “……is there anything more I can get for you gentlemen?”
“No thanks, Robert, we’re all set here.” Tony offered the bag again and, with a sigh, Clint dropped his clothes and the cravat into it. Smiling, Tony lead the way to the door, once again holding it open for Clint.
“…..now I’m really going to buy you something humiliating.”