Clint has a problem: he just doesn’t know when to stop pushing. And no one questions Tony Stark’s genius status, even in jest. NO one.
Established relationship, Tony Stark/Clint Barton. First chapter text format, second chapter story format.
Hawkeye58: Hey Tony. Let’s go to a museum.
Stark1: Haha what brought this on?
Hawkeye58: I just had to run through a museum and it looked like there’s cool stuff in it. So I wanna see one now.
Stark1: ….you’ve never been?
Hawkeye58: Nah. I mean I think there were a few times I wanted to go as a kid. But never got a chance to. Didn’t think about them later on.
Stark1: Heh. So I get to take you to your first. Cool.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Ha. You think? Cuz you can totally tell me if you don’t want to.
Stark1: Shut up. Of course I want to.
Hawkeye58: Haha okay. Just checking. I don’t know. You might not of liked em
Stark1: Haha no. Went a fair amount as a kid. Mom liked the art, dad liked all the technical stuff….space museum and shit like that. He rarely had time to go but when he did he was like a little kid.
……one of my favorite memories of him, actually.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Sounds amazing. You can show me all the stuff you remember.
Stark1: Ha. Yea. Well. Whatever you’re interested in. There’s lots of different kinds of museums. But. Yea……I’d like that.
Hawkeye58: Ha. I don’t know. I like planes. There’s one of those in D.C, right? The one I was in had all these glass case scenes. Not gonna lie. Almost gave me a heart attack.
Stark1: Ha! What kind of stuff?
Hawkeye58: I don’t know. I was going fast. Different kinds of people in history, looked like. Made of wax, but man. You turn a corner fast and come face to face with some uniform with a gun…..holy hell, almost shot the damn thing before I realized it wasn’t real. Well….living, anyway.
Stark1: Haha. Yea. I can imagine.
Hawkeye58: Good thing is, I didn’t say anything. No one listening to the comm would ever have let me live it down.
But yeah. I wanna go to some. You probably know good ones, right?
Stark1: Yea. There are some right here in New York, though I think London probably has the best. Personal opinion.
Hawkeye58: Yeah? I’ll go to any of em. Haha. Build myself a preference.
Stark1: Ha! Sounds good. But yea. London’s got some nice Van Goghs. And a bunch of other Impressionists and Pre-Raphaelites.
…..which I’m sure means nothing, but they’re a personal favorite.
Hawkeye58: Haha. I’ll take your word for it.
……Van Gough’s the one that did the swirly sky one, right?
Stark1: Haha yup. That’s the one.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Check me out, remembering stuff.
Stark1: HAHA! God I love you.
Hawkeye58: Well yeah. Cuz I’m awesome. Oh. I wanna go to one with dinosaurs sometime.
Stark1: HAHAHAHA! You like dinosaurs?
Hawkeye58: …………shut up. Dinosaurs are awesome.
Stark1: Hahaha didn’t say they weren’t. I just never pictured you being into them.
……do you have a favorite? I bet you’ve got a favorite.
Hawkeye58: Well……I really loved them when I was a kid. Just sort of stuck. And I always liked the flying ones that had sort of feathers. Don’t remember what they’re called. Used to have a book with a picture of em. Them and Jurassic Park’s version of a raptor.
Stark1: Got me there. Not sure about that one. And what…..you mean the super intelligent raptors?
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Those are awesome.
Stark1: Ha! Oh yea. Fantastic.
Hawkeye58: Haha shut up
Stark1: Ha no. You’re crazy.
Hawkeye58: I am not!
……..okay maybe a little but still.
Hawkeye58: ………..shut up.
Stark1: No. I love you.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Well at least you love me. Ass.
Stark1: Ha! I do. And you love me even though I’m an ass……you even love me BECAUSE I’m an ass.
Hawkeye58: Yup. Guess you’re damn lucky I’m crazy, then.
Stark1: Haha don’t I know it
Hawkeye58: Better. Otherwise we might have to question your genius status.
Stark1: HA! Well that’s not up for debate. Period.
Hawkeye58: Oh? But it’s so fun watching you get all into defending the title.
Stark1: Hey! Hahaha asshole. I don’t NEED to defend it. It’s never been challenged.
Hawkeye58: Haha fine then.
Stark1: Damn right fine.
Hawkeye58: Heh. You mad?
Stark1: Ha no. But my genius is not in question.
Hawkeye58: What if I question it? Hypothetically speaking.
Stark1: ……………..I will not be pleased.
Hawkeye58: Hmm. Kay.
Hawkeye58: What? I’m curious.
Stark1: Causing trouble is what you’re doing.
Hawkeye58: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Stark1: …………..you’re a brat. And you’re going to get yourself in trouble.
Hawkeye58: ………….but it’s fun.
Stark1: Oh? You may not think so in the end.
Stark1: Not when I’m done with you.
Hawkeye58: ………..I don’t know. Now I’m REALLY curious.
Stark1: …………………………….you’re SUCH a brat. I’m a genius. End of discussion.
Hawkeye58: ……what if I press the discussion.
Stark1: …………………..it will not end well for you.
Hawkeye58: You keep saying that but I just don’t know what that means.
Stark1: Fine by me.
Hawkeye58: ……………I think you’re exaggerating.
Hawkeye58: Yup. That too.
Stark1: Oh man. Okay no. You’re officially in for it.
Hawkeye58: You think? I think you’re bluffing.
Stark1: That’s cuz you never trust in my abilities. And usually I let it slide. But this time it’s gonna bite you in the ass.
Hawkeye58: I trust in your abilities most of the time.
Stark1: Bullshit. You never do. Don’t try lying your way out now. It’s not gonna work.
Hawkeye58: Now you’re REALLY exaggerating.
Stark1: I am not!! You question EVERYTHING
Hawkeye58: Well yeah. That’s in my nature.
Stark1: Yea. Cuz you don’t believe me.
Hawkeye58: That has nothing to do with it most of the time.
Stark1: Yea okay. Whatever.
Hawkeye58: See. Now YOU don’t believe ME.
Stark1: Nope. Cuz you’re a skeptical bastard and you never believe I can do anything I say I can.
Hawkeye58: You totally don’t understand my skepticism.
Stark1: Yea well I’ve asked you to explain and you never have. And now you’re too late cuz you’ve pushed the boundaries on obnoxiousness and you’re not talking your way out of it.
Hawkeye58: ……….but I’m so good at talking my way outta things.
Stark1: Not this time.
Hawkeye58: ………I love you.
Stark1: Not gonna work. When’re you coming home?
Hawkeye58: ……..um. Well…..I’m on a plane.
Stark1: Hm. Okay.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. Okay?
Stark1: Yup. Okay.
Hawkeye58: Okay then. Good……I think.
Stark1: Oh, well if you think.
Hawkeye58: ………..I’m starting to get the feeling I should just stay on this plane.
Stark1: Oh? But I thought I was just bluffing.
Hawkeye58: ………..yeah. Not so sure what to think. It’s very hard to tell when I’m not seeing you.
Stark1: Sucks to be you, doesn’t it.
Hawkeye58: No. I’m pretty awesome regardless, I think.
Stark1: Oh is that right
Stark1: Yea okay.
Hawkeye58: You’re suddenly very less talkative.
Stark1: You’re suddenly very observant.
Hawkeye58: I’m always observant.
Hawkeye58: …………..this is weird.
Stark1: Oh? Why’s that.
Hawkeye58: Because you’re usually much more……..animated.
Stark1: Oh, I’m animated alright.
Stark1: Yea. Very.
Stark1: Yea I’m home.
Stark1: You gonna actually come or you gonna stay on the plane like a pussy
Hawkeye58: Fuck you I am NOT a pussy. Coming home.
Stark1: Glad to hear it.
Hawkeye58: Damn right.
Stark1: Probably not for you.
Hawkeye58: Says you.
Stark1: KNOWS me. I’m a fucking genius.
Hawkeye58: Mnn………so you say.
Stark1: Where are you
Hawkeye58: An airport.
Stark1: Awfully unspecific. Too dumb to figure out the name or too scared to tell me what it is?
Hawkeye58: Ouch. Yeah. That’s it. Totally can’t read the name. So many confusing letters. Sides. Thought you could find me anywhere.
Stark1: And I should waste my time on a local airport because…….?
I thought it was a simple enough question, but I guess not. Sorry to strain you.
Hawkeye58: Oh, fuck you.
Stark1: No, I don’t think so.
Hawkeye58: Oh. Is that how you’re gonna play it.
Stark1: I’m gonna play it however I want to play it.
Hawkeye58: That so, huh.
Stark1: Yea. That’s so.
Hawkeye58: So what game ARE you playing?
Stark1: Who said it was a game?
Hawkeye58: So it’s not a game?
Stark1: I don’t know…..is it?
Hawkeye58: I don’t know!
Stark1: That’s too bad. Where are you
Hawkeye58: Why? You worried I’m not coming home?
Stark1: I don’t know. You’re taking an awfully long time. AND avoiding the question.
Hawkeye58: Yeah well I’m working with public transportation here.
Stark1: Oh, is that it.
Hawkeye58: ……what’re you trying to say
Stark1: That you’re avoiding me.
Hawkeye58: Ha. And why would I do that
Stark1: I don’t know. You tell me.
Hawkeye58: I think I have no reason to avoid you.
Stark1: Hm. Okay. Good to know.
Hawkeye58: Sides. I’m almost home, anyway.
Stark1: Ha. Guess that makes a bit of a difference, then.
Stark1: ……….well, if you’re already almost home, you wouldn’t be avoiding me, would you? Doesn’t make sense.
Hawkeye58: Wouldn’t make sense anyway, I said.
Hawkeye58: I wouldn’t avoid you.
Stark1: Oh yea? Never?
Hawkeye58: Hasn’t happened yet.
Stark1: Ha. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
Hawkeye58: Guess that’s true. But still.
Stark1: Yea. Well. Hope you never do.
Hawkeye58: Ha. Yeah. It’s me, Tony. I tend not to avoid things even when very sane and intelligent person might.
Stark1: Heh. True. Though seriously……where the hell are you
Hawkeye58: Down the street. Geez, you’re persistent.
Stark1: Yea. I am.
Hawkeye58: Heh. Well. Two minutes.
Stark1: Goddamn you’re slow. You sure that’s accurate, though? Know you had some trouble reading earlier……is the math holding up?
Hawkeye58: Oh. Low blows all over the place, huh. But no. I am surprisingly awesome with math. So long as it’s not on paper.
Stark1: Hey, you started all this when you challenged my genius, so don’t you give me any “low blow” B.S.
Hawkeye58: Heh. There’s that snarky fire.
Stark1: ………you are SUCH an asshole today.
Hawkeye58: I blame jet lag.
Stark1: Yea right.
Hawkeye58: Ha! You’re right. Mostly just me.
Stark1: Yea. Definitely just you.
Hawkeye58: Haha. Thanks.
Stark1: ……………did I say it was a good thing?
Hawkeye58: Heh. Guess not. But it’s never deterred you.
Stark1: Nope. Not at all.
Hawkeye58: Well that’s good, then.
Stark1: Yea. It is.
Hawkeye58: Yeah. All right. I’m pulling up.
Stark1: Good. I’m waiting